Comments

My X gambler
Reply

Day 76

Joanne
Reply

Hi LOSER,

I know we lark about LOSER but it’s nice to talk. Sounds like you haven’t had it easy. You should be proud of how you’ve managed to rebuild your life , it’s obviously taken hard work and effort. Life’s no stroll in the park , things happen to us that we have no control over. We need to stop beating ourselves up and accept we’re only human and we’re all doing the best we can. I don’t know which is harder to deal with, the situations we have no control over or the ones we have . I’ve had things happen to me that I’ve had no control over , not quite ready to talk about yet, but life hasn’t been totally kind to me. In my twenties I was advised to go and have help for post traumatic stress disorder , I wasn’t having any of it . My method was to carry on, don’t think about it , and make the most of life. I guess there was a bit of the ‘life’s been unkind to me so I don’t have to be too perfect’. Maybe that’s the reason I don’t take life too seriously, and just enjoy it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a law-abiding, hard-working girl!

What a difference in you Loser ,you’re really on top of your game with regard to this gambling addiction. I’m thrilled for you. Well done in getting a ‘ring of steel’ around the savings. lol Smart move with regard to the bricks and mortar! Another regret of mine. Around 4 years ago I had paid off the mortgage on my present home, had a nest egg and was just about to sign the papers to purchase a small flat in my nearest city. I live in a small coastal town, (have to live by the sea!) surrounded by small towns and within a 1-2 hour commute of the nearest city. So I thought it would be nice to own a flat in the city for weekend breaks etc. I knew if I didn’t use the flat I could always rent it out. Anyway, got cold feet at the last moment as I was on my own by then, I didn’t think I could handle the responsibility of another property and opted to have the security of money in the bank instead. My gambling addiction took off after that and gradually the money got lost to gambling. Every time I’m in the city it pains me to look at that flat!!

Day 4 for me now, you’re a good influence on me , but hey you can be a bad influence on me as well! hahaha
That reminds me cheeky boy, I hope you don’t think I’m a ‘floozy’ I don’t give away my favours that easily! lol

Anyway, I’ll not be around for a week or so , this ‘small town’ girl is going down to the big city ie London, I hope I don’t get lost. Nothing too exciting, escorting my mother , she wants to visit her brother who lives there. I don’t think those two will be leading me astray, it’ll be tearooms instead of casinos!

Well, ‘ravishing romeo’ you’d best get out on the town and give those Ozzie girls a treat!! You’re one gorgeous guy!

Catch up with you again, Joanne ( the soon to be Mrs LOSER) I hope that worlds prepared for the new Brad and Angelina!!

Missing you already, x

Jane
Reply

Wow, Duncan, 433 days! That is really fantastic. You must have really put in a lot of work, thought and effort to get that far. Well done to you. Today is the first time I thought about my days for a while and I checked them to give myself a boost because of my little weak patch. It may only be days, and anything can change, but it is important to remind ourselves of our progress, not just in terms of days, but in terms of how we have grown as individuals. Kate gets my prize for perseverance, as no matter what she goes through, she continues to delve deep into her thoughts and tries relentlessly to understand the processes which lead her to gamble. Well done, Kate. Keep posting Duncan because you have really helped me focus on what I need to to do to get through this. Happy to be in your shadow!
Thank you

john
Reply

Hi day 12 free gambling lets do it all on this site

Kate
Reply

Thanks Duncan, your gamble free achievement and insightful posts are an inspiration. Thank you. I had urges this afternoon for the first time since I last quit – and I am sure they were triggered by a TV commercial I saw for an online site, which had a woman gambling on her laptop – Starburst – it flashed up that she had a big win …. in an instant – that’s all it took to awaken the beast. I am surprised gambling companies are allowed to show wins …anyway, taking your advice and reminding myself about the very large flip side of the rare win

Kate
Reply

You can Jane – the bad days will get fewer as you get stronger and stonger

Kate
Reply

Good point Loser! I definitely don’t want to relapse, and i do believe we can do this

Jane
Reply

Day 173. Come on! I can do this. This is the year for change. Enough is enough now. The only way is forward.
Duncan, what day are you on or don’t numbers go up that far? :)

Duncan
Reply

Hi Jane,

173 days is amazing! You’ve had your ups and downs but ultimately you’ve held strong and continue to be a non gambler. You should be extremely proud.

Today has been a bit strange for me. I’m off work and have found myself watching horse racing. While watching races I felt a weird sense of excitement that i used to feel as a gambler. I found myself almost fantasising at the prospect of gambling but I’m able to take a step back and rationalise my thought process. I think about all the things I’ve learnt while reading up about gambling addiction, as well as recalling how I used to feel as a gambler. Recalling how stressed and anxious gambling used to make me feel is the perfect way to put these ‘fantasies’ to bed. I think about how happy i am as a non gambler and actually get a warm feeling reflecting on how far I’ve come.

I don’t tend to count the days anymore but did a quick check. I’m on day 433 but I’m mindful that relapse can occur for any recovering gambling addict. I do not ever want to take things for granted and continue to educate myself about gambling addiction. I’ve accepted that this will always be a part of my life, albeit I can go days/ sometimes weeks without really giving gambling much thought.

Here’s to another day gamble free!

LOSER
Reply

WOW Duncan you are my hero 433 days!!!! AMAZING! I was sad to hear you still have urges even after not gambling for one year but glad you got it under control quickly. I too have been thinking of how I feel when I lose and having no money till the banks open and that anxious feeling of wanting to go back, strangely enough this time round I still remember those feelings so it has helped. In the past I cannot seem to bring those feelings up and end up relapsing. I think buying property has helped leaving me only around $15 – $20K in the bank so I now appreciate the value of money. I also have gone and locked all this cash up so I won’t be tempted. A part of me wants to gamble now thinking what can I really lose now it won’t be any where near what I used to lose as I don’t have access to it. But then I think I am going on a cruise ship and they have a casino in there and it would be nice to not gamble for the 2 weeks and not want to go gamble on the ship and just enjoy the cruise. This will be my driving force to quitting I am on Day 20 and every bloody day I have had urges lol might go to bingo to release them.

Joanne
Reply

Hi LOSER,

Three posts in three days, this is getting serious! lol What a master plan, have a romance and we’ll have no time to think about gambling. We’re pure geniuses!! lol

Anyway, I was thinking about your reply, the guy’s did the choosing, I enjoyed the early days of romance and when it got down to the serious business of relationships ie commitment I did the running! After reading the posts on the forum I switched over to the Daily Mail on-line newspaper to catch up on today’s news. (it’s free to read!) And lo behold there was an article stating that researchers have found that ‘falling in love’ or ‘being in love’ can be addictive. Perhaps I’m addicted to the ‘falling in love’ bit . lol Apparently those who experience love addiction share processes in the brain with those seen in drug addiction. Researchers found love can trigger reward signals in the brain like drugs do and it can lead to cravings, obsessive behaviours and grief, among other things. Interestingly I have always said in some of my posts that I fell in love with gambling and couldn’t get enough of it . I’ve definitely got an addictive gene. I’ve transferred my ‘falling in love ‘ addictive gene from men to casinos!!! I’ll be signing that Bryan Ferry song now in my head, Might as well face it, I’m addicted to love! It’s time I was getting my ‘running shoes’ on again and started running from those casinos, as fast as I can! lol

Anyway I realise from the forum that people can have difficult days with regard to this gambling addiction. LOSER and I ‘click’ because I think we have a ‘fun loving’ , ‘young at heart ‘ streak! It’s not my intention to cause upset to anyone, it’s just the way we are, our ‘coping mechanism’.

Great to see you so upbeat Loser, hopping around the forum. Hope that other forum knows how lucky they are to have you and hey, I hope you’re not flirting with the girls too much! lol Because if I lose you baby, It’ll rain every day! I’ll go blast some Bruno Mars, stop me gambling.

Take care LOSER, catch up with soon. Joanne x

LOSER
Reply

Hi Joanne,

We have so much in common, fun loving…young streak…Bruno Mars
Ohhhhhh You might as well face it your addicted to love!
I’m not flirting with no other girls, I only have eye’s for you Joanne :)
However it appears it’s “raining Men” for you lol

Very happy to hear you didn’t gamble last night think of me saying, “NOOOOOOOO” when you have a urge! I still think there is more to your gambling than you realise, if you don’t want to seek counselling then you need to dig deep to find the real reason. I started out gambling for pure enjoyment and had no idea I was getting addicted because I was a high earner so losing the money wasn’t a issue however I mostly won in the earlier years. As time went on and my earning’s reduced I then started to notice I was gambling way too much money ($1000 – $1500) then things happened in my life and I really got out of control. Looking back now I realise it was a series of things that led me to addictive gambling. Some things I could change, other’s I couldn’t. The past couple of years I set out to make new friends (as I had a huge falling out with a mate of mine for over 20 years) This didn’t help my gambling, in fact it fuelled it. Fuelled it because of the argument, fuelled it because I had free weekends now, fuelled it because I had lost a big chunk of my life and the circle of friends around us to. The strange bit is I didn’t realise that this issue was also a driving force to my gambling getting worse. I alway’s thought back to a death in the family that I could never change. So over the years I reconnected with school friends and made new friends and it has helped me by keeping me happier and busier with outings. Although I keep relapsing I think I am making a slight improvement on my journey. I also have taken up going to the gym, I’m starting to look rather ravishing now hahahahahah and feeling healthier and happier. So slight changes in your life are a positive step towards recovery. You said you enjoy gambling for the entertainment not the money, if that was the case why not play the free slots on Facebook? As for men my advice is this………Whether you are asked out on a date or meet someone, get to know them first. Do not sleep with him straightaway (I’m not saying you do) but get to know the heart and the mind. See what you have in common
(not just in the bedroom lol) when someone falls in love with you “mentally” they will not hurt you so easily.
Today I had urges coming on strong I thought I would crack and the thought of Mat giving me crap was enough to not go gamble lol I quickly went to the bank and locked all my money up. I have more money coming in within a few day’s so will have to go lock that up too! I also cut up all debit cards to this account, gotta put those barrier’s in place otherwise I will be in a room full of flashing neon lights and singing Tv boxes! It’s very difficult when your first starting off but as the day’s add up it becomes a little easier. I do feel relief buying property as I don’t have much in the bank now and have started to appreciate the value of money more with the crumbs I have left in there hahahah

Anyway chat soon Mrs Loser hahahahhahhahah

mat
Reply

I feel really bad today, headache and pains all over my body I don’t know if its stress, this loss had to happen, I knew it would as once I had a winning streak I wouldn’t stop no one does.
I still have money locked away its just the part I left out for more gambling, as to be honest I wanted to gamble, lets not lie about that, I lost £1700 in the past 48 hours out of £2500 that was won. put away £800 as it was lost from personal savings during grand national. I now go out with £10 or £20 with me so no more gambling. Painful loss needs to happen to wake up and quit gambling. Technically I didn’t lose anything in the past 6 weeks but this recent gambling spree did stir up emotions and brought a lot of stress and made me upset.
Loser thing is I didn’t feel great after a win at all you misunderstood, I knew what happens next and and its just a high like after a coffee or drugs after winning, I did drink alcohol whether I won or lost now I don’t drink.
Wins give you a high but its hardly a decent win to win £500 or £3000 its nothing really not life changing. Its stupid addiction not even worth to gamble to win these small amounts.
I need to be careful and not give in to emotions, I see you are at day 19 Loser shouldn’t you be over day 100? its not as easy to fight these urges when they come we forget and go back to the old ways, On the 26th January I quit and on the 6 week mark I relapsed, I was posting wisdom too and fell into a trap and gambled.
Back in 2013 there was a James Petherick compulsive gambler who made a diary on youtube and tried to expose the bookies and at that time I almost hit 2 year mark before I relapsed, he disappeared from youtube. Hopefully this time we will do this right and beat this addiction for good I pray

Jane
Reply

Mat, 100% true. We don’t feel good when we win. We might have done in the early days and that’s what kept us gambling, but now, if we have a win, there is a sense of impending doom. I feel it too, because I know full well that I will give it back. Happens 100% of the time.
I’m like you, Mat, in that I will have a win, go back and think I can win more, lose part of the win and try to be happy that I still have some left, but it will bother me until I eventually end up with nothing. I will then go a step further and try to win back the money with further deposits of my own money, until the win ends up making me in debt. That’s how much power the win has over you. It is not a gift, it’s a curse.

That’s why I actually feel worse when I win money, it unsettles me and it’s all I can think about. It certainly isn’t a good feeling to win any more because it just torments the hell out of you because you know you can’t keep it.
A win to me is pointless and I know it the second it hits my balance. I can withdraw it from the site all I want, convince myself it is mine, even self exclude in a bid to keep it, but I know that I am destined to lose it, one way or another.

loser
Reply

Mat yes I am on Day 19 going to Day 100. This time I will do it, hope you can do it too!

Duncan
Reply

Well done, Nik. Excellent achievement. Keep up the good work and the 200 mark will be here before you know it. Let the bookies starve!

Leave a Reply to Jane Cancel reply

Descargar musica