Comments

Joanne
Reply

Day 115.

To those still gambling think about what its costing you in time, money and unnecessary stress.

Nobody loved gambling more than me, but the price was too high for a chemical hit. That’s all gambling gave me. Put as many safety nets in place as you possibly can eg Gamstop and give yourself the best possible chance of getting off to a flying start. I get a real buzz when I see my number of gf days in print, cant believe that I’ve come so far. Feel more settled, can budget and make plans re my finances. The best bit, my bank account looks pretty much the same as when I last viewed it! No carnage after a mammoth gambling session.

Keep it gamble free, mon ami!

Joanne no mates probably talking to herself. Haha ;)

Joanne
Reply

Don’t be your own worst enemy, be your own best friend!

Have a good day!

RJB
Reply

Im still at it hate it

Joanne
Reply

Sorry to hear that. My trouble was I could never hate it, but now that Ive stopped for almost 4 months I can see the benefit of not gambling and life is definitely better as a non-gambler.

Its late, just finished a long shift. Keep trying, there’s nothing to be gained from gambling.

All the very best,

Joanne

Joanne
Reply

I’m only speaking for myself …. well I for one won’t be mentioning any of the past regulars on this forum. As far as I’m concerned you’re just a selfish lot. I’m tempted to use the ‘c’ word. Jane put in a lot of time and effort picking you up, time after time, when you would come in here to get your wounds licked after a relapse or when you wanted to have a moan or snipe. Not one of you have made the effort to congratulate her on her on going success at remaining gamble free or to ask after her.

I know you won’t be interested in communicating with me but in light of the support she gave you in the past she deserves better.

Of course it’s none of my business. If you come back just to announce you’ve met a gamble free milestone, I for one, won’t be offering any congratulations. Although I daresay you won’t be wanting them.

Just wanted to get that out of my system.

It’s still early days for me but I’m starting to believe that I can manage this addiction and continue to remain gf. Anon, I don’t know what day you’re on but I’m guessing you’re doing good. Keep going, you clever little shit. Hahaha

To those of us still posting …. keep it gamble free! Wishing everyone continued success.

Joanne

Anon
Reply

Isn’t it strange as soon as Jane posts, there’s no sign of Joanne. Keep posting Jane!!

Joanne
Reply

You’re so cruel to me honey-bun, I’m crushed!

However, very observant, little clever clogs! Xx

I hope that by staying away, some of the others, Trevor, Andy, Nik, Mat, LOSER might want to post to Jane. I’m sure she’d love to hear from them, even if it’s only a quick update. In fairness to Jane, her intentions were always the best, she probably deserves some feedback for her past efforts in supporting others and for her continuing success at remaining gamble free.

Anyway, all good, still gamble-free! Unlike last week I haven’t tried to find an online casino and no desire to play the pretend slots. On reflection I think the reason I tried to find an online casino last week may have been because I was approaching payday. Quite often in the past I would search for a casino just before payday. Old habits die hard. Another lesson learned, I’ll be extra vigilant in the future.

When you get urges, don’t fight them, try and figure out why they’re occurring, there will be a reason(s) and once you identify it you can rationalise these feelings and remind yourself that running to gambling won’t help the situation, it will only leave you feeling worse.

Learning all the time, WE have the power to free ourselves from this addiction.

KEEP IT GAMBLE-FREE!

Joanne ;)

Joanne
Reply

If anybody out there is still struggling and feel they could benefit from returning (or joining) the forum, please say, and I will disappear.

Joanne

Jane
Reply

Something else I wanted to say….

The best thing to come out of not gambling for so long is a feeling of stability. The worst thing about gambling for me, was the fact that I never knew when it was going to happen. I would wake up, be happy, be absolutely fine and not even think about gambling and by afternoon, I would be in a heap, struggling to come to terms with the fact that it has happened again. The impulsive nature of gambling was so destructive. The speed at which I could go from being fine to sick to my stomach in a matter of minutes was something that my brain couldn’t handle. The emotional swings you get are so hard on a gambler because you are fine one minute, and the next, you are wondering how you are going to pay rent and sat with your head in your hands. I distinctly remember logging in to win just a tenner. How stupid is that? I had spent £10 earlier that day and the gambler in me wanted that money back. That £10 cost me £3,500. I even used to struggle to spend money while I was trying to give up gambling because I would worry that it might trigger a relapse. Gambling got into every aspect of my life. I often used to buy something, then look to win that money back again. No wonder I could never accept a loss, I couldn’t even accept spending some of my own money. It wasn’t even greed, it was just the mentality.

Family would talk about plans for a certain day, a certain week…. ‘Let’s do this and let’s do that’ and all the time I would be thinking, ‘yeah we will if I don’t mess everything up again’.
Those kind of thoughts filled my head every time there was a nice day planned or something to look forward to. I was always consistent in that sense and I have so many regrets. Even though I didn’t know I was going to gamble at any given time, deep down, I always knew I would mess things up and that worry ruined my ability to enjoy even the days when I did not gamble. You just can’t switch off when you are addicted. When you aren’t gambling, you worry that you will gamble. When you’re not gambling, you think about gambling. Relapse felt like an inevitability for me and like many addicts, I lived with that anvil over my head every day, wondering if today would be the day, hoping it wouldn’t be but feeling powerless to do anything about it. For much of my addiction, I felt pretty much along for the ride.

People talk about gamblers being selfish, but they fail to see the gambler’s ability to hurt themselves. Gamblers can tolerate a hell of a lot of pain, so much so that they get used to it, they can accept it and they can outdo it every time. The pain becomes something they come to expect and it becomes easier and easier to hurt themselves. Of course, the knock on effect on families can be devastating, however, anyone who lives with gambling addiction will know that we live with that horrible uncertainty every day and the worst thing is knowing that that threat comes from ourselves. At the height of my addiction, I felt volatile, out of control and vulnerable. I felt like I never knew when I was going to strike and I lived in fear of my own self and what I was capable of.
I gave up gambling mostly because of the mental and financial consequences and the way that these were affecting my family. I found it so hard in the past because every time I tried to put gambling behind me, the debt was always in front of me. It kept gambling relevant and triggered relapse after relapse as I just couldn’t accept what I had done. It’s one thing to gamble and lose money but it is another thing entirely to lose money that you don’t even have. That was my situation for 8 years. Once you get into gambling debt, it stops being about the thrill of winning, and becomes about getting out of the mess you are in. Gambling is just a way out of debt and this is when things got serious for me. That’s why my losses got even bigger because I wanted to stop gambling. I bet big and lost big because I wanted to win enough to walk away from it all but it never happened. My mental situation will improve far sooner than my financial situation and has already started to improve along with my overall outlook.

Although part of me still feels drawn to gambling, it is only a small part and it is weak enough for me to override any remaining desire to bet. I don’t feel that same level of threat anymore. I have so many safety nets in place now and I feel more of a sense of control coming back. I still worry because I have to manage this addiction for life, but I have more of a level playing field now that I can actually make a rational choice and don’t feel the need to act on impulse anymore.

When people talk about plans and things we should do, I don’t have that churn in my stomach, that worry of whether I will end up ruining our plans again. I feel like gambling does not have to factor in my future and that I now have a say in how my day ends up.

That for me is the single best thing to come out of being 6 month gambling free, just being able to think for myself, to be content in my own company. Peace of mind is underrated but it’s something that has evaded me since gambling took over my life.

Will check in again sometime, but for now, this is the best run I have had for a long time and I intend to make the most of it. It’s time for me to focus on a new chapter in my life.

Day 183 and counting……

Jane
Reply

Happy to report 6 months gamble free today. I have managed to find places to bet despite being with gamstop but the fact that I search them out, then self exclude tells me that I am just acting out. It’s that same petulance and arrogance that got me into this mess. I don’t think I actually want to bet, I think I have just been conditioned to want to. It is hard to unlearn the gambling habit. I occasionally look to gamble now out of habit rather than a compulsive need for a fix. That’s a very important change that shows that my brain is healing. I am more able to think about what I actually want to do and not be guided blindly by the addict in me.
What I need to work on now is making sure that this habit dies along with any urges to bet. I have no intention of returning to my old ways and I hope the longer I go, the more gambling will distance itself from my thoughts.
Gamstop has prevented me from relapse and I have also been able to close down any other opportunity that came my way too. I think I am getting the upper hand over the gambler in me but I am always on my guard. I have more control now and more ability to say no.

I think the problem I have is that I like to have the choice, even if that choice will always be no. I want to be able to say no for myself. I don’t like being controlled and I think that is why I search out a place to bet. It’s not because I want to gamble, I think it has more to do with just seeing if I can and then I take satisfaction from closing it down myself. It is in an addict’s nature after all to undo any effort they make to protect themselves. I didn’t expect gamstop to just remove all my urges to bet but it has certainly stifled them.

It is interesting that when I get declined for a betting account, I am also pleased about it. I am relieved and then I get on with my day. I used to be really annoyed and immediately go on live chat and want to know why I had been turned down for an account and then look for somewhere else. Now, I know that if I am pleased, then I am not really serious about betting and that I am just clinging on to the dying remnants of 8 years of compulsive gambling. I am more than happy to watch this addiction die even though I feel like part of me dies with it. It is not a part of me that I am proud of but I also believe that gambling is made to be addictive and that what happened to me and all of us was by design. I just wish I had committed to this earlier but then, I suppose every gambler has a lifespan and I think my story has played out now. For the first time, I can honestly say that I accept the losses. Whenever I said that before, I didn’t mean it fully. It hurt too much. I resented it too much. Gambling was both my reason for debt and my way out of debt.

I hope I can keep going. I don’t see why not. I’ve said no to gambling for half a year now, and even though I am tempted now and then, I am able to see the sense in staying gamble free and walking away from this for good.
I don’t know how many of you still read the site, but best wishes to everyone past and present and keep trying to live gamble free.
All the best.

Joanne
Reply

Day 109.

Another day survived… goodnight!

Joanne

Joanne
Reply

Every morning I wake up grateful that I didn’t gamble the day before!

Keep it gamble free …. Mariah Carey …. the Hero lies in you.

Joanne ;)

Joanne
Reply

☄ HAPPY BONFIRE NIGHT ☄

Anon
Reply

It’s tommorow you dull cunt

Joanne
Reply

You need a rocket up the ass! ;)

Hahaha

☄ Happy Bonfire Night tomorrow ☄

I hope it chucks down and you get soaking wet.

Xxxx

Anon
Reply

Bet you’re soaking wet now you filthy trollop

Joanne
Reply

Wishing you a nocturnal emission!

Sweet dreams.

Haha haha

Joanne
Reply

Youtube … this is how they do fireworks in Glasgow.

Joanne
Reply

108.

Joanne
Reply

Responsible gambling week (Nov 1st -7th).

Day 107.

Still struggling if I’m honest. Although I feel a great relief at being 107 days gf and my financial situation is improving I seem to be dwelling on my losses a lot recently. Delayed reaction ? or maybe as you get further away from gambling it starts to register just how foolish one has been. When you’re gambling you still have this crazy belief that all will come good whereas when you can’t gamble you have to accept the losses. Soooooo many regrets.

Anyway, keep it gamble free.

I’m not sure who still visits the forum but it would be good to hear how everyone is doing.

Joanne ;)

Bat shit crazy
Reply

☆ ☆ ☆ HAPPY HALLOWEEN ☆ ☆ ☆

Joanne
Reply

102.

Moron
Reply

I all I am 40 years of age and had this illness for over 25 years now. It utterly destroyed my life and I atm I got no job and suffer deeply from depression and anxiety all coursed from gambling and the crazy thing is I still gamble to escape to escape my depression but gambling is what put me in the depression in the first place (crazy I know) anyway my life is over now and I wish every night I don,t wake up. Know years ago I had consoueeling from gamcare in the U.K. and they used to tell me I just need to control it as it’s mind over matter. Know to me this is impossible for a compulsive gambler ever to control is gambling. For the last 9 months I even worked out a way that I can bet and lay a horse so i don,t lose if it loses and win a few quid if it wins so basically I can,t lose! But I still lose as I lost 800 yesterday as this system I got is only one horse race a day were the bookies give you a price boost for one race a day with a max stake of 50 pounds so say a horse is 3 to 1 the bookie will give you 5 to 1 and I can usually lay it off at 4 to 1 to make 50 if it wins and nothing If it loses. When i first started doing this I used to be happy when they won and just stop for the day or if they lost just think oh well better luck tomorrow and at least they never lost. Then I started betting another horse in the race so I could lose 10 pound now as the price boost horse have not won for days and 2 of the horses get beat and I start chasing and ended up losing 800 last yesterday. This cycle have been happening about every month for the last 9 months. Always thinking I,am in control as I got this so called system and then bang! I lose all my money! (About 800 to 1000) so i can not win even with this system as I am a compulsive gambler! So please tell me what you guys think as I would be so grateful as I am so down today. Am I just a weak person or is it impossible for a compulsive gambler to stay in control even if he a winning system? I know I still crave that rush when gambling all the time! Thanks all.

JP
Reply

Hi Joanne

Joanne
Reply

Stop shouting! I’m feeling very fragile after last night’s Halloween event.

KIGF

Joanne
Reply

On second thoughts, keep it alcohol free.

No, I’m not moron. I think Moron has posted before. Sorry you’re having a difficult time, Moron. Have you thought about signing up to Gamstop?

101 days for me although virtually impossible for me to gamble.

It probably sounds crazy but I still miss it.

Ah well,

Joanne

Moron
Reply

As if, take advice from you, you drunken tart.

Joanne
Reply

I feel like a ‘fraud’. The only reason I’m gamble free is because I can’t access an online casino.

It would be interesting to hear how others are doing.

I don’t know where to go from here, doesn’t seem much point in counting days. I’m going to try and stop visiting Gamcare, it gets a bit depressing and the Gambling Community puts me in mind to gamble.

Maybe my next challenge should be to try and stay away from all things gambling related.

KIGF

Joanne ;)

Joanne
Reply

Back to carving out pumpkins .. where’s LOSER, and his pumpkin soup recipe?

Took in lots of sweets and choc bars for Halloween …. got tempted so the detox hit the fan ….. sooooo want to spin some reels, definitely in self destruct mode this week.

Need to sort myself out asap.

KIGF ;)

JP
Reply

Who are you talking too?

Joanne
Reply

Lol

Just thinking out loud. Trying to figure out how I went 95 days with no desire to gamble and then BOOM, for no obvious reason I found myself desperately wanting to spin those reels again! I’ve spent hours this week trying to find a site to play on. I dont think it would have bothered me if I hadnt reached my target of 100 days gf.

Ive been busy organising Halloween events so I cant even blame it on boredom.

I guess I’m just a f**ked up gambling addict! I dont know why I swear so much on this forum, I very rarely swear in real life. Weird. Lol

Joanne

Joanne
Reply

100 days gf.

If I’m honest, I dont really feel anything. I know deep down that I wouldn’t have achieved it on willpower alone so fair play to those who have. I have been searching for online casinos to play on this week, not quite sure why, but Gamstop has stopped me in my tracks. I’ve been playing the pretend slots, again, not quite sure why.

It can’t be easy for those who have arcades, bookies and casinos on their doorstep and have to rely on willpower alone.

I do miss playing the pokies, but I know that its in my best interest to stay away.

Keep it gamble free.

Bookie
Reply

He killed himself because he had no self control, wasnt the casino’s fault. How many people gamble responsibly? I’d go with the majority. Bullshit article, the second half anyway

Joanne
Reply

Some things I took from the article …

1. I have often said that it was pretty much ‘love at first sight’ when I first experienced online gambling. Hook, line and sinker. It appears that this was also the case for the late Scott Stevens. Going by the article there doesnt appear to be any obvious reason why he took up gambling, an intelligent, successful guy with a family, everything to live for. No doubt if fate hadnt introduced him to those machines he would still be alive today. Very sad.

Why do these slot machines have such a huge impact on us when we first experience them? Are we wired differently?

2. The fact that every compulsive gambler will eventually have to give up gambling. Every gambler will reach their ‘exit’ point … no available money, unmanageable debt, driven to commit a crime and of course tragically as in this case, suicide. These machines are designed to take everything from us.

3. The article focused on how these machines are designed, or should I say rigged to keep the player hooked. These machines are programmed to produce a higher than average incidence of ‘near wins’ because research shows that a compulsive gambler’s brain registers these as wins. You may find this documentary of interest … youtube … ‘Inside the brain of a gambling addict’. This documentary explains this very well.

I see people back on Gamcare after being five, ten years gamble free seeking help because they have relapsed and found themselves back in dire financial trouble. Once we’re back in that zone or bubble, it seems all is forgotten and we’re back at the mercy of these rigged machines.

We must be wired differently to keep doing what we do!

Interesting thread on the Gambling Community forum … folk discussing why sometimes they feel happier when they’re actually losing.

Apologies for rambling.

Joanne

Joanne
Reply

98.

A touching and powerful read.

Keep it gf. Never underestimate the destruction that this addiction can cause.

Jane
Reply

I’m just 4 days away from beating my best ever period of abstinence. I have struggled with some urges for some time now but instead of doing my usual and seeking out a place to bet with, I sought out some material to help strengthen my resolve. I read an article that angered me to the point of tears.
If you can spare a bit of time, you might find this interesting:

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2016/12/losing-it-all/505814/

It will spur you on for some time to come.

Day 169.
Keep trying to live gamble free.

Joanne
Reply

97 days gf.

Joanne
Reply

96.

John
Reply

Hello joenne and everybody’s

I still gamble free Joenne i very happy about you gambling free days. i sorry for calling you boring stuoid women you work hard being gf good luck everbodys

Joanne
Reply

Sorry buttmunch but I ain’t falling off no cliff!

Day 95 gamble free.

Joanne x ;)

Joanne
Reply

94.

JP
Reply

Hopefully you’ll gamble again and then jump off a cliff with mounting debts.

Joanne
Reply

A bit harsh.

I think me gambling days are over.

I visit the Gambling Community forum, these guys discuss their horse racing choices, etc so glad to be out of that shit, you forget how FRUSTRATING it is.

If I had to pick one word to describe my experience of sports betting it would be FRUSTRATION. Who needs it?

I never played roulette, couldn’t stand the noise of that friggin’ ball clinking. Only ever played it once.

What’s with all the anger and hate? You struggling?

Joanne

Joanne
Reply

Don’t be lured back , all you’ll do is line the pockets of those greedy c***s! I apologise for the bad language, not very ladylike, but I just cant think of a better word to describe them!
Lol

KEEP IT GAMBLE FREE!

Joanne
Reply

92 days gf.

Back to work, roll on payday, feelin’ skint.

The last time I had a few days holiday and gambled (May) I lost my money down a slot machine, this time I did some online Christmas shopping (I do it early because if the snow comes, its a nightmare for the delivery guys), booked a couple of nights away for early Dec and scraped enough together to buy the concert tickets for next year.

I’m still spent out but at least I’ve got things to look forward to and I didn’t wake up full of self-loathing and feelin a complete dork.

One week away from hitting 100 although my target is one year. I know the score, if I dont make it, well I’ve only got myself to blame … no more excuses.

Keep it gamble free, you know it makes sense.

Joanne, probably talking to myself, but it seems to be helping. ;)

JP
Reply

Yes you are talking to yourself coz no cunt is listening you insipid old trollop

Joanne
Reply

Ass-hole .. Bellend….. Cocky – D**k …. Egg-sucking dog …. F***face … you get the idea …

It’s time I was giving you a ‘ Glasgow Kiss ‘ lol

Tbc

Joanne
Reply

….. Halfwit .. Idiot … Jackass … K**b …

This is the tame version … lol

Tbc

Joanne
Reply

Lardass (struggled with L) … Moron …. Nut sack ….

Tbc

By the way, this is just banter!

Joanne
Reply

I’m struggling …

O ? …. P***k ….. Q? …. Rat …. Shitass … Twat …. U ? V ? W***er.

I’m probably missing obvious ones …

Rushing … back to work

Cya later!

JP
Reply

Hope you get run over on the way

Joanne
Reply

Come on sweetie pie, don’t be like that! You can knock me of my feet!

Sometimes I get the vibe that you’re being serious and you do genuinely dislike me.

Ah well.

Quiet tonight at work. I’d best go and look busy.

May as well check in now …. 93 days Gf!

Until tomorrow …. sweet dreams … ;)

Joanne
Reply

All that dirty talk and you didn’t even wait up and welcome me home with some lovin’ … shame on you baby.

Keep it gamble-free!

Joanne ;)

Add your comment below:

Descargar musica