Comments

Just a observer
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Joanne the stage is yours now hopefully you will get some fresh blood to give advice to everyone else has either already gone or is going. You will awake and check this site daily and no one will be posting except for yourself.

Take pride in your achievements dear

Joanne
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I may well end up being on my own but at least I won’t have to worry about being stabbed in the back , and falsely accused of things. Okay I was a bit of a ‘b’ when I first arrived on the forum but I always apologised. I doubt very much that I’ll be getting the apologies I’m due.

All the very best, good luck , Joanne x

Just a observer
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The forum is a emotional joke you can come here get great advice and feel good positive and motivated to stop gambling and then return to find bickering and insults flying across the room. Jane went on holidays and Joanne took over and enjoyed her role as soon as Jane returned Joanne went into a fit of rage once again on the attack towards Jane with her fake identity’s. When Joanne realises everyone will abandon the forum she either states that she will leave (which she never does) as she then realises she has lost all her internet friends and will have nothing in her life. Joanne you have more problems than a gambling addiction, you love chaos and create it on this forum you really need professional help. Instead of working with Jane to help others you try and compete with her. Now everyone is going to leave Joanne and you have nothing in your life once again. I will seek help elsewhere this place creates urges and negative vibes for me.

Joanne
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No , you’re actually wrong . Joanne could see that a few people were struggling with this addiction because they didn’t have a trusted person such as a partner or parent to confide in, hand over control of their finances , etc. which can help make it easier for an addict in the early stages of their recovery programme. Joanne highlighted this fact in one of her posts.

Joanne was fairly convinced that Jane responded under the disguise of Bailey Ray. This annoyed Joanne because of course Jane has history of making Joanne’s life a misery by falsely accusing her of trolling herself when that person (who has never had the decency to own up who they are) trolled Joanne, and being this guy Marc and CM (who are probably the same person). Then Jane the language forensic expert accused Joanne of being Julie, etc Odd , then how she came to the conclusion that Joanne had trolled herself back in September. Even if it wasn’t Jane who posted under Bailey Ray it brought back feelings of resentment in Joanne because she still feels aggrieved for being falsely accused when their was absolutely no evidence to suggest it was her.

Although few would argue that Jane does an excellent job on the forum supporting people , ufortunately she thinks she’s an expert on gambling addiction but she isn’t because she only sees it through the lens of her own situation.

The majority of people who have passed through the forum just post once , probably when they first come to the conclusion that they have a problem with gambling. They then quickly move on to the agencies which can offer them professional support. You will see them posting on Gamcare. etc

This forum has a purpose. It can be a place for people to tell their story, learn about books etc that can aid their recovery.

Sorry to read you are having urges, stay strong and don’t throw away your progress.

And yep this is Joanne.

Joanne
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I think the forum still has a purpose. I think we should all remember that we must not let our ‘egos’ get in the way of signposting people to the professional help they need. None of us are experts, we’re just a bunch of random people with gambling issues.

It’s blatantly obvious that some of us are struggling. Hence the reason I put up some useful addresses and telephone numbers that i hoped would spurn people on to taking that first, important step towards getting the help they need and deserve. This is after all an illness that none of us choose.

Nik, do you know that you can register now with Gam Stop? I can understand your concern about the World Cup, a lot of folk have expressed a similar concern on Gamcare.

All the best folks!

NIK
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Not posted for a while and barely checked the site as I am still gamble free all year since 30 Dec. Hopefully I have beaten it, although I still have to pass last years 7 months, also avoid being tempted by the World Cup, If I can get through that I think I’ve finally cracked it after about 12 years of addiction.

Disappointing to see the nonsense has recently kicked off again after what appeared weeks of sensible support.
I suppose it always will.

Anyway hope you are all gamble free – it’s a great feeling.

BTW Joanne I am not CM.
He/she doesn’t seem capable of writing a few words at a time, one of which is always ‘cunt.’

Joanne
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I really wish people would stop coming on here and ‘dissing ‘ the forum. We have a bit of a problem with CM but I fear he is a gambling addict who is just ‘kicking out’. Hopefully we can tame him!

Nobody is indispensable, the forum can survive. It is only natural that people will come and go as their situation changes.
Let’s face it, most folk have moved on after only posting one message. Some have stuck around.

However it is a good starting point , where folk can tell their story , and depending on their situation get advice on seeking professional help tailored to their needs. Pick up useful tips on books which may be of interest /help and blocks like GAM STOP etc.

Duncan
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Joanne, the forum has escalated into a farce! I hate to say it but there are far better ways to educate and understand gambling addiction that this forum. The forum is not monitored and i’d go as far to say that it’s now counter productive.

I wish you all the best in your recovery.

Joanne
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I agree with you Duncan that , yes , there are better ways to educate and understand gambling addiction than this forum hence the reason I’ve been pointing people in the direction of the professionals/agencies who have expertise in gambling addiction . I’ve been putting up addresses and telephone numbers of some of the agencies. To avoid conflict I’ve done it under the disguise of ‘anonymous’.

I fear most for the younger generation who I believe need much more help than this forum can offer especially those who do not have a trusted person tthat they can confide in and gain support from.

I still believe that the forum can serve some purpose , I’m going to keep faith.

Wishing you continued success. Joanne

Duncan
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Hi folks,

Just wanted to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has offered informative and useful advice on this forum over the past year and a half. Unfortunately, the forum has gone to the dogs (no pun intended) which is a shame as it has clearly provided a support network for a number of people.

I know that i have not posted for a while; however, the time has come for me to move on from Rethink.

For those who have not read Allen Carr’s book – The Easy way to stop gambling – i cannot recommend it enough. I read the book on 19th February 2016 (the day i placed my last bet) and have remained a non gambler since. My life as a non gambler is much more fulfilling and I’m relieved that i no longer wish to gamble. If a part of you feels that you’re missing out by not gambling, then you will forever be susceptible to its clutch and will inevitably fall back into the gambling trap.

Here’s to another day gamble free.

Trevor
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The Allen Carr book is good.

Joanne
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Day 16 gamble-free for me.

Didn’t buy any lotto tickets or scratchers this weekend.

There’s hope!

Joanne

Hmmm
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I really hope you lose everything you sick twisted, weird old spinster.

Joanne
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Haha, that made me laugh!

But seriously , you need to get professional help before YOU lose everything. Pick up the phone or go on live chat to an agency that deals with gambling addiction. Your brain has been wired from a young, impressionable age to believe that you can make money from gambling. You probably would benefit from cognitive behaviour therapy to rewire your brain so it breaks that connection and you see gambling for what it is, a loser’ s game.

Your’re caught in this endless cycle of winning, losing, chasing losses, it will eventually bleed you of everything you have and leave you with mental health issues , such as depression, anxiety, feelings of self-worth.

You’ve been coming here a long time and that hasn’t helped you. All you’ve been getting here is tea and sympathy and that is not what you need. You need some tough love, now do yourself the biggest favour of your life and seek professional help. I’ve put up the names of some of the agencies in previous post.

Do you really want to hit 50 and have nothing to show for your life while your peers are successful?

ACT NOW, seek professional help.

Anonymous
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I guess it will forever remain a mystery who back-stabbed Joanne last September and why the language forensic expert , Jane and her sidekicks blamed Joanne when there wasn’t a single piece of evidence to support their accusations.

__________________________________________

Anonymous
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If Jane is such a forensic language expert, why did she blame Joanne for trolling herself when that post came up last September calling Joanne a bitch , etc?

Anonymous
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Joanne got stabbed in the back that day. Some might say she deserved it. Who stabbed Joanne in the back and why did it bother Jane (and others) so much that they persisted in accusing Joanne?

Joanne is a bitch, but the difference between Joanne and the others who have executed just as nasty deeds, is that Joanne doesn’t sit pretending to be ‘whiter than white’.

CM
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Joanne, we know this is you, lol

Anonymous
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You’re a ‘c’ but at least you’re consistent.
Unfortunately Joanne gets accused of being you so it’s only natural she wants to clear her name!

CM
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cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunt

loser
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Hi Everyone,

Came on here in a positive frame of mind and now it’s turned sour. Have no idea what is going on? Who is Bailey Ray? Supposedly they posted something negative but I cannot see the post. In fact I couldn’t care a less and totally not interested in all the drama. Thankyou Jane for all your brilliant advice to everyone over the past few years and all the best in your recovery. Mat stay positive hope you make changes and carve a different path for your future. Trevor all the best on your recovery along with Joanne, Duncan, Kate, Andy and whoever else I forgot to mention.
I think I am ready to move forward now, will be back to mark my 100 day’s and pop in now and again bit as time goes by I too will drift off like a bottle in the sea in the sunset to a better non gambling life.

Anonymous
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There goes another with a guilty conscience riding off into the sunset!

mat
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This site is done

Joanne
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I always use to think that Nik was CM , but I think I’ve worked it all out now. So no, I don’t have a personality disorder, I just got fed up of all the accusations.

I’m not bothered any more, all a heap of shit really, all I want to be is gamble-free.

CM
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Please enlighten us

Joanne
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You’re a gambling addict, probably lost everything, in shit street,

Jealous of Loser because he’s getting his life back hence the reason you target him.

I used to think you were Nik because he would always post seconds after you posted and of course accuse me of being you. Attack always the first sign of defence.
You could be posting as RB as well.
You use the ‘c’ word a lot because you are one.

Jane is definitely Bailey Ray, again attacked me when she got sussed. Attack always the first sign of defence. Divert attention to take the heat of yourself.

Couldn’t really give a piss anymore . Just used to annoy me that I was always painted the ‘baddie’ when at times I didn’t deserve it.

Like I said, really not bothered anymore, just glad to be finally free from the temptation of gambling. Most of whats been written on here is all a heap of shit. If you want to be free from gambling follow Liz Karters six step guide . If not, carry on gambling, you’ll be forced to give it up one day when you run out of money, are in debt up to your eyeballs or have committed a crime such as embezzlement because you’re so desperate for money. Youve only to read the posts on Gamcare every day to know that’s how it usually pans out.

CM
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You have driven Jane away, you nasty piece of work!

Joanne
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I think anonymous is correct, Bailey Rae is no random poster. Nobody would go to the trouble of writing out such a long post and then disappear into thin air.

I don’t have a personality disorder , I just get fed up of the people on this forum who play games.

Will CM reveal who he really is? Or at least have the decency once and for all to let you all know that I am NOT CM.

Good night .

mat
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Jane so whats your theory who is doing it Joanne have some sort of personality disorder I think, but why do it it makes no difference we all have some sort of mental issues more or less. If you gamble it messes your brain up things like depression, anger, ocd will definitely show up. Trevor does not exist crazy this site is like cuckoo’s nest

Trevor
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Trevor does exist. Why single me out. Only tried to help.

CM
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Annoying cunt

Joanne
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I’ve never played games on here, just had to defend myself when I was falsely accused of being CM.

Anway, 2 weeks gamble-free! Although I did buy a lotto ticket mid-week .

Joanne
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Plus I take exception to being accused of not trying to give up gambling. From the moment I found this site I’ve been desperate to stop. It was impossible for me to hand over control of my finances to anyone or do without internet. If I had been in a position to do that 20 months ago I would have.

Some of you have been coming in here making out you’re wanting to quit gambling and yet despite the fact that you are in a position to hand over control of your finances etc , you’re still not willing to do so. You’re still clinging to gambling . I sat for endless nights putting self exclusions in place but a new site would always find me. In fact I think I was probably the person who put in most effort to try and stop but I didn’t have the support of anyone at home.

I’m fed up of being wrongly accused.

Joanne
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Plus I had to take all the shit of being accused of being a guy called Marc, CM.

Joanne
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Some of you have done f**k all to try and stop gambling, you just come in here to f*****g moan about your losses, then sneak off to gamble again.

CM
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I reckon it’s loser

Jane
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I post as Jane because that’s who I am. That’s it. There is no motivation to do anything other, unlike yourself who has a history of playing games on this site.

The only reason people post as others is to create dissent and arguments, to say things that they really want to say to people because they are two faced. Isn’t that right Joanne? You have even gone so far as to accuse yourself hoping for someone else to jump in for an argument because you are bored.

I’ll tell you what I think shall I? I think you have created the other people who have posted on the site, but I think that since you accused me of being Bailey rae, then their post was probably real so because it wasn’t your creation, you think someone else made it up. You call me out for doing it because you know you have been found out so you want to divert attention away from yourself. Funny that you don’t question the other posts but then you know who did them don’t you?
Look at the punctuation errors staring you in the face in these post extracts. Nobody else on the site does this except you, Joanne. You and your made up distractions. The fact that ‘Anonymous’ has gone straight to accusing me of posting under another name, speaks volumes that it is in fact you, Joanne. You signed and sealed it right there.

Anon posted…..
Corinne ?
With a bit of luck that Irish ‘know all ” won’t
Monica , Why don’t you just piss off.

Anonymous posted…..
Joanne ,
‘pinch of salt’ !

Julie posted….
laugh at my situation . I decide to leave. Good bye . Julie
Julie Mat , I so sorry somebody
part. .I think my friend use me
I work ,have got lots of girlfriends .

Joanne posted….
.If you have debt ,
Do you want to be sleeping rough ,
Jane , sorry to hear about your fall
of ‘passenger ‘ ,
Gamcare ,
shoes . (Joke)
as Trevor says , we
Because I’m free , nothings worrying me
I’ve had enough , so tired
placing crazy , large spins
Like I said , Jane ,treat
Gam Stop . Just thought I’d mention it .

All the posts from these ‘different’ people have the same punctuation errors ie, an incorrect space either before or after a punctuation mark like this . or this , that runs through them. All the fumbling fingers of Joanne on her phone.

If only you would have spent more time concentrating on your recovery instead of taking all your gambling urges out on the rest of us. It doesn’t matter that you have also abused and called yourself in some of the posts. We all know that is to divert attention away from you.

Such a shame.

Well, good luck to everyone. I can’t be doing with false people so I am going to get on with the rest of my life now. I feel confident that I am able to remain a non gambler.
I wish you all the very best and hope you will do well.
Obviously, I am accepting that I will have to leave the site by pointing this out to you on here as the site will now become a place I can no longer be. I’m not here to take abuse and no one else should, especially from someone we are talking to and supporting along the way. But this facade has gone on long enough and now I feel able to stand alone and leave the site, so I want you all to be aware of who is behind the posts as to me, it is literally staring you in the face.
I had to point this out to you as I just can’t stand checking in this site and seeing you all talking to Joanne nicely, her talking back nicely, then stinging you all under another name. I’ve only continued to converse with Joanne to maintain peace on the forum but it’s just too weird and too obvious. It’s like she wants the best of both worlds. The more helpful her posts are, the more she says what she wants under another name.
It’s pathetic.
No wonder the numbers are dropping on this forum. Well, another one gone but it’s for the best.

Best wishes to all and goodbye.

Anonymous
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Goodbye, Bailey Rae

Pinch of salt, more like ‘dollop of salt ‘

Anonymous
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….. That much you should understand…..

Dead giveaway … Jane ‘Bailey Rae’

Jane
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You know there are many people with the same first name, and many people who have the same first and second name. You are still anonymous even if you post under your real name or a pseudonym. The fact that people post negatively or non constructively, explicitly as anon or anonymous suggests that maybe they are already posting under another name or are already known to the forum.
It could also mean that you post under anon or anonymous as a means of separating or distancing yourself from the rest of us on the forum for the purpose of dissent. In other words, you do not want to associate with the other members of the forum.
I doubt very much that there are many people posting negatively. My guess is just one, possibly two and this can be seen in the structure of the posts. There is something about 4 member’s posts that strongly link them together and suggests they are written in the same hand. (Language forensics at college). Fascinating subject. People swing in and out of the forum and don’t tend to stick around bar the main core group of people. You expect me to believe that we have multiple people who continue to post on the forum, all of which are negative?
I don’t think so.

Anonymous
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They’re all going to relapse, Jane, Mat, Loser and Trevor …… Joanne , probably go on to be a sex addict instead of a gambling addict. HAHAHAH

Anonymous
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I read most of what’s written on here with a ‘pinch of salt’ !

Anon
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Corinne ?

Jane
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Sounds nice, Trevor. Remind yourself that you are going to London for a nice break, not to torture and upset yourself. Who needs the guilt and the stress? Going to London costs money and it will be a waste of that money too as well as your losses if you gamble.
It takes time to break that connection that gambling is fun and exciting. That is of course how it sells itself. However, it will lose its grip if you rationalise those urges with the reality. When doing this, don’t recall a single session of gambling, as this can sometimes end in a win. Remember the overall effect of your gambling experience which is of course, ever increasing losses, depression and anxiety.
If we all could see the logic in our gambling, we would all be cured. If common sense won out over the impulse to feed the addiction, we would all be well on our way to a gambling free life.
Keep working at it, Trevor. Keep reminding yourself where you have been, where you are now, and where you want to go. Most importantly, don’t go backwards, whatever backwards means to you personally.

For me, going backwards would be gambling again, for others it might be spending more time gambling or going over spending limits, lying to their partner etc. Set yourself those targets and keep them because you want to. Keep working at your own personal goal.
Mine is to be a non gambler. Yours may be to be a more responsible gambler. I think our ability to gamble responsibly depends very much on our reasons for gambling in the first place. My gambling came from a dark and depressed place and that needed to be fixed before I could have any hope of stopping. I know that if I fix the depression, I won’t want to gamble any more. I never really enjoyed gambling. I used it more to self destruct and it helped me do that very well indeed. I hated myself and gambling helped me to self loathe and wallow in those feelings of unhappiness and discontentment.

For others it may be that they simply enjoy gambling but recognise that their pass time has now become a dangerous addiction. It also depends on the type of gambler you are and whether you can maintain a level of control. Personally, I cannot. I don’t gamble for fun, I gamble when I’m upset so if I lose, it makes me so angry and more upset, that I will throw them everything I have got. When I start losing, it becomes about me and the machine. I am an emotional gambler and emotions are not logical, so neither is my gambling. It spirals dangerously out of control too quickly for me to ever hope to go back to gambling for fun.
For me, it has to go. Others may find this too. As I have said before, control is an illusion and mostly only works when you are winning. Having tried to manage my gambling for 3 years, I found that it will not work for me. I cannot gamble responsibly because it clashes with my personality. So it just has to go.

Went to the hospital yesterday, and the result was mixed. My mum had some scans and examinations and although they couldn’t notice anything physically, there is something they are not happy about on the scans. However, they have put her on a watch because there isn’t enough to justify further investigation right now. They asked her to come back in 3 months but to keep an eye on the area.
So it’s still good news that way if they aren’t rushing her off for a biopsy.
The legs are getting stronger, thanks for asking Trevor. I’ve been keeping to my routine and doing as I am told. No running, just lots and lots of walking and stretching. They feel a little more reliable now and I don’t have the feeling that I am just gonna go down!
Hope you have a lovely time in London, Trevor. Watch out for holes. They can be sneaky. You don’t want to be hobbling around like my trip!

Mat, glad you are feeling better and a bit more relaxed. It is difficult right after relapse. Your head is everywhere and it is really important not to act on any dangerous ideas because your judgement is very much affected by the relapse and the desire to get your money back.

Sit tight. Chin up and feel better without gambling in your life.

Keep today a good day. It’s what everyone deserves.

mat
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Thanks for all your comments, I have calmed down a bit now didn’t play last 2 days I will avoid bookies and not gamble it only ever gets worse, a win is a curse it just makes you lose control and all your money with it.
Started to train again to keep occupied. Time to finish this for good.

Joanne
Reply

Dr Liz Karter…. Expert on gambling

1. Admit you have a problem

Emotional confusion is very common at this point… one side of your personality acting rationally and acknowledging that gambling is destroying your life whilst the other half is craving gambling.

2. Tell a trusted person

So you need to get the right support around you… confide in a trusted friend/partner/relative… be accountable , get your secret out in the open

3. BLOCK YOUR ACCESS TO GAMBLING

This step will allow you to realise that gambling is not the escape you believe it to be. People use gambling to distract them from the stresses and pressures of work etc. However you will realise that it is not a solution and in time the INEVITABLE losses will create a cycle of problems, and the issues from which you were trying to run from are intensified. In other words you just create more problems for yourself.

4. Hand over control of your finances

This will make it easier to move forward especially in the early stages. It lifts the burden from your shoulders.

If you have debt , get a plan put in place. Unmanageable debt will drive you to gamble again. Chasing losses is one of the hardest habits to break.

5. Keep busy

Even if you’ve blocked access to Gambling you may still have urges. Keep busy to overcome withdrawal symptoms. If they become unbearable talk to your GP.

6. Take inspiration from others who have successfully stopped.

Okay , easier said than done for some of us. If you don’t have a friend or relative you can trust to help you maybe it’s time to seek out support from an agency or professional. Someone you can see / talk to on a regular basis , someone to be accountable to, to give you support.

Just a thought … Joanne

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