Comments

Guy Webber
Reply

Blimey, its still a self help group therapy for the few here…why dont you all just arrange a meet? Instead of 20 scroll essays and stories of days out and favorite flowers…

Or perhaps you could offer real advice for problem gamblers whose lives are going up in smoke…

1 Stop now. It will only ever get worse.
2 Dont chase your money. Its gone Forever.
3 Dont lie to your partner – while you may think it may help for a little while…. its corrosive and the lies will always burn through in the end and lieing will always distort your view on life and your gambling
4 Call a gambling helpline
5 Subscribe to https://www.gamstop.co.uk/ this could be a game changer in time…

Or if you lot just want to chat about days out…fine…but at least direct people to places where they can really get help instead of psychotherapy…how many times do you all have to repeat the same old stuff….jeez…

Jane
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We are gambling addicts to you know. We are here for help and support too, not just to offer advice to other people and talk into the emptiness. What have you done to help us? Have you replied to me when I have been at my lowest? Nope. Don’t know you from Adam. Do you have any idea how much advice we have given over the last year and a half. Many people take the time to answer others who post and the majority of people never even respond to that help. A forum works both ways, you give and you take. If someone comes on here and asks for help, you can bet someone will answer them but if new people don’t post, then we will talk to each other and help each other in whatever way we can. If that means asking about someone’s day, so be it. Like some of us have already said, we would rather hear about someone doing well and enjoying life again, than hear that they have wiped themselves out.

Why don’t you ask me how my day has been cos it was nice until I came on here and read your negative comments. People don’t respond well to bullet points, they want someone to chat with them. They are not just a statistic and they are not all the same. One set of advice does not fit all. Do this. Do that. Then do this…… A gambling addict will likely know how to help themselves already and it isn’t going to necessarily help them because you have to get behind the reason for gambling to make it stop. Talking things out is much more helpful than just telling someone what to do when they more than likely already know how to help themselves, but can’t stop or resent having to.
Gambling is a lonely addiction and people take solace from being in the company of others who have the same problem because other addicts understand the reason why people get caught up in this and can more easily show someone how to help themselves by example and by showing them how life can get back to normal.
I don’t see many posts from you offering support, in fact, I see only criticism for people who are in a bad situation themselves yet who take the time support others.

By the way, Guy Webber, you posted as ‘WINNER’ on May 7th. This is obvious from your writing. If you have anything constructive to say, I suggest you post under just one name. Given the amount of abuse people have suffered on this website, I am not prepared to further communicate with anyone who cannot use a single name to post. I find it insane that people have more complaints about some of us finally being happy on this forum than all the abuse that gets posted.
Seems to me it is because these same people would rather be negative than offer support.

Joanne
Reply

Hi RB

Welcome to the forum! You’ll find lots of excellent advice here, support and understanding , and hopefully you will not feel so alone coping with this horrible addiction .

I’m sorry you’re feeling so low after a loss, feeling that way myself right now having relapsed badly last week , trashing the hell out of my savings.

However you’ve taken the first step and that’s admitting to yourself that your gambling has gotten out of control and things have to change.

It’s quite late now so i’ll be back tomorrow ( today!)

In the meantime take care .

RB
Reply

HI Joanne

Was really feeling shit last night hence my first post, another day starts today and like always i’m looking at the football games and plotting a way back thinking if i give this up there will be a big void in my life, hard to put it into words. Kidding myself about new rules i will set myself to control this.

Since starting Uni and even at school in 2001 i have always had to abuse something and ultimately myself. I have done this through partying too much using recreational drugs and alcohol almost on a daily basis. When I gave all that up about 10 years ago I started gambling to fill the void and i have been getting worse and worse ever since. I bet big amounts on Football games mainly goals markets and love the game which makes it hard to come away from as I will always follow my team.

I can go a few days without betting usually when I run out of money but those days seem to refresh me and clear the down ive had and i get positive again about setting new rules on how much i will stake and try and control it. This works for a small amount of time and i have few wins then I loose the discipline and it all goes to shit and im forever chasing, you all know how that ends.

I owned my own house and traveled the world in my mid 20s and now in my mid 30s i have to rent I haven’t had a holiday for 4 years and my credit rating is battered forever. I owe family 0000s and have lots of debt.

I run marathons and long distances everyday to clear my head which has become another addiction and I even now pick out a game to bet on while im doing my runs so i can hopefully get a goal notification while im running.

Not sure if this will help me contain anything or help me but a felt ive tried most things but share it. May be not posting again but I always read the forum when I lose for some reason and will continue to do so.en

For those who post negative things and have a go at people once ive read a negative post having a go i remember the name posting and when ever I see that name I dont even read your posts, its like you dont exist so carry on, if no one reads them your wasting your time.

Its easy to stop or say stop to someone when your not addicted, but i am and thats why i cant.

RB

Joanne
Reply

CM

I’m getting p***ed off with your snide remarks.

I’ve asked you several times what your reason is for visiting the forum but I never get a response.

So if you don’t have gambling issues, and it’s obvious from your posts that you don’t particularly like any of us, why bother visiting the forum.

Joanne

RB
Reply

Hello I am new to this but I found this forum a year or so back and I find myself looking at it when ever I have a big loss like tonight. Feel so low and shot like usual. Not sure how this works but. I’m so skint now again sat in bed trying to find a way to get through the month till next money comes in. What can I go without or push back. What bull shot I can come up with to lend more money. Fed up with it. I’m 35 and feel trapped forever.

Trevor
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Jane and Joanne,
What a pair you 2 are….boobs that give black eyes and losing weight shrinks my arse but not my face….lol. I’m trying to lose a bit is weight as I want to buy a new suit as a treat for not gambling that much and as a incentive on how good it feels to spend money on me not machines. So just need to keep off the machines for another 4 weeks and my abstinence will have paid for the suit.

Managing to keep slots machines at bay with the odd lotto ticket and scratchcard to feed the urges with crumbs…not a 8 course feast.

Hope everyone is doing ok….thoughts are with you Mat.

Jane
Reply

That’s good if that works for you, Trevor. It’s good to buy yourself something, it helps you to see the value in money again. We all need to slow things down and put both our feet back on the floor. I’m afraid many of us have been in la la land with our gambling and we can find it hard to have restraint like regular folk again. Saving for something can be a good way of showing us how long it takes to get something we want. We look for instant gratification with gambling, literally something for nothing. Instead, what we got was nothing for something! But, jokes aside, we have to go back to realising that the world doesn’t work like that, not in the long run, anyway.
Like I said, I lost many thousands in January and I am still paying it back. It takes minutes to lose and months to put back.
I find that I like to have something to look forward to. It helps me keep focus. What I do, (because I like shopping) is buy myself something nice on ebay….I like to win auctions because that gives me a similar but more sensible high than gambling because of course, there’s something to see at the end of it! Then, what I do is I say to myself, right, I will not gamble now until my item arrives in the post. Keeping my goal short term helps me too. Having something nice to look forward to bridges the gap of those few days and who doesn’t like getting something in the mail?
When I get it, I say to myself, well done, you didn’t gamble in those days, so you can look again for another little treat and I keep going that way.
Obviously, I keep them small, like £15 or £20, for a nice top, say, and it is way cheaper than gambling. It works out that I spend maybe £75 a month doing this, but given that I can get through thousands in minutes, it is far more sustainable and helps keep me motivated because I am getting a little reward for my effort and seeing what money can buy too.
Waiting for the items to come in the post is a good way for me to slow things down and learn to be patient. Being impulsive is what got me here. I do not allow myself to get another treat until the one before arrives, so that I don’t overdo the budget!

It’s all about whatever works, isn’t it? I found that not spending at all just made me grumpy and made me focus on the debt. This way, I just take nibbles out the week, and before I know it, I have gone a month without gambling, and I have a few more things hanging in my wardrobe. Win Win!

Trevor
Reply

Mat,

Life can throw loads of crap at you and sometimes all at the same time. It’s always difficult, but try and focus on goods things that have happened recently or way in the past…..its not always bad…

Like Loser says try and talk to someone about this…try and use your spare time to get some exercise or make healthy meals.

Please don’t gamble as this won’t help….win or lose…you don’t this addiction Messi g with your head when you have other issues. See if you have any insurance that you could claim your phone on…worth a look.

Take care.

loser
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Joanne I sent the email just now OMG I now know your surname go figure lol

Joanne
Reply

Ah something has gone wrong!

Try the new email account, it’s working because I tested it , so it’s basically identical to the old one, except instead of 12 change the numbers to 763!

Fingers crossed!

CM
Reply

Why don’t you two annoying loved up pricks get a room. Or preferably jump off a cliff

Joanne
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Mat, I’m sorry to read that you feel the whole worlds against you but you do have a lovely sense of humour that shines through in your posts .

Excellent advice from Loser and Jane so not much more I can add . Keep posting , don’t bottle things up, try and prioritise your concerns and deal with them as best you can. Don’t turn to gambling or alcohol. I hope you start to feel better soon. Take care.

LOSER, You’re not looking older, you’re looking more distinguished, embrace your old age! Hahaha

When I lose weight it always falls of my ‘arse’ first , why can’t it be my face!

I can’t believe you still use my email address to post! It doesn’t even exist. Anyway to make it easier I’ve created a new address, it’s identical to the old one except I’ve changed the numbers to 763 instead of 12.
I hope that makes sense .

As for driving , my son struggled to pass his test , it was resit after resit, very expensive but he persevered although his pride took a heckava bruising but he got there in the end and passed. The driving instructor correctly said, my job is not to get you through a test but to learn you to drive . There’s a difference.

I can run to the car or dash out to the washing line if it starts raining but could I jog for a mile or two , i think i would seriously sttuggle. Not being overweight does not necessarily mean you’re in good health. I seriously need to rethink my eating habits and lack of exercise. Odd , because I was really sporty in my youth, athletics and badminton .

Keep going Jane , you’ll enjoy your trip oversea so much more if you meet your goals and the added bonus of gaining a natural tan and glow. Nothing nicer than the natural glow from a ‘sun-kissed’ tan , plus it’s free.

All the best everyone!

Jane
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That was me not so long ago, Joanne. I have always been a walker, not a runner. I like being outdoors but I enjoy the mental experience, not necessarily the physical stuff. I thought I was okay fit, not overweight as such but it’s only when I pushed myself to start running, that I realised how much I’d let it slide. When I first started running, it was actually demoralising. I felt shame and weakness. Then I decided that if I could get this way, then I can get out of it too. It was nice to have someone push me as well and having to work with my daughter’s physio and get her moving again, helped me to sort myself out too. Seeing her frustration at having to sit for 5 weeks and not being able to even use a loo by herself made me realise how much time I had wasted sitting around, when I could be making use of myself.
It’s not surprising that we get out of shape inside, even if it doesn’t show on the outside, when you think how much of our spare time we’ve spent working on that butt groove in the settee. It’s not like we gambled on the go. My sessions would be at least 2 hours and frequently 4 hours if there was nothing to stop me. I would rush through my chores first, so it looked like I had been busy, just a quick flash over everything so I could spend my time spinning.
I read that if I don’t shed the pounds now, I will take them into old age because it is so hard to get rid of weight as your metabolism slows and your ability to keep active diminishes.
That was great advice from the driving instructor. I had a beef with my daughter’s biology teacher. She is doing her first year A level exams soon, and he told her to just learn the stuff, memorise it, you don’t need to understand it, just remember it. To me, this is dreadful advice. If you truly understand the work, you don’t need to remember it because you can apply it correctly. If she is only able to recite information and equations but doesn’t know why the answer is what it is, how can she possibly apply that in her work and how can she build on that?
It’s not just about getting through the test, it’s about taking it on to another level so that you can see those connections that make the work interesting. Remembering stuff is nowhere near as satisfying as understanding stuff!
Teachers don’t teach like they used to. Mine are told to use Google instead of putting their hand up! They are not allowed to bring money into school for the shop, but are allowed to bring laptops and £700 iphones!
Crazy world.

Jane
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Ha ha, Las Vegas! You are funny, Loser.
I am actually getting a bit browner these days with all the time spent outdoors. Yeah, my gal is a blast. She is great company. She’s fighting off the boys for now, but it won’t be long before she gets her first boyfriend. Boo! She wants to work with animals so she is concentrating on her studies right now. Smart girl. She often remarks about my ‘frontage’, and says that I can’t even run for a bus with those, cos I’d get two black eyes! Ha ha, I’ll show her who can’t run!
My son wants to be a goal keeper! He may need to work on that because if he turns sideways, he disappears! He is so slim, I can’t seem to fatten him up but like me, he never stops eating!

Joanne, 777 was dreadful, nothing would work. I self excluded from them and then went on to open one with 888 which of course, shouldn’t have happened. I love those little shops you get in small towns and villages. They sell far superior food, especially the butchers and you know exactly what you are buying. I don’t like all that prepacked meat in the supermarket. They always put the nice lean bits on top and then underneath, they hide all the fatty stuff. Plus I hate all those horrible polystyrene trays. They make me feel like throwing up. Even typing the word makes me shudder. I had a parcel come once and it was packaged so tight in polystyrene, I couldn’t open it because when I tried to pull it out, it all squeaked like nails on a chalk board. Horrible stuff.

Mat, I feel for you. You have obviously been through a lot. It can seem like everything is against you and I know I have had times where I wished I never got out of bed too. You might not be able to control other aspects of your life, but you can cut one negative thing out which is gambling. If you gamble, you can’t control whether you win or lose, but you can control what happens by not gambling in the first place. If you have so much bad stuff going on in your life already, why intentionally add to it yourself. Whatever is going on in your life, it is still better without gambling. Why punish yourself by gambling when you already feel down? Even if you win one day, and gambling picks you up and makes you feel good, another day, you will lose it all and gambling will throw you to the curb and take a dump on you.

Nothing changes if nothing changes, so take a look at the things you can influence and change them one by one. If you can’t change them, work with them. Make them work for you. You have had a terrible run of bad luck, and sometimes it feels like the universe is just having a laugh but look at the humour in your writing. You have a great personality and that comes through in your post. I often look up and wonder if my life is one big test, or if I am in The Truman Show or something. Literally, one thing after the other goes wrong for me, but I try to just laugh at how ironic my life is sometimes. If you don’t laugh, you will cry, as they say. Nobody’s life is perfect, no matter what the media says. If it were, rich and so-called ‘perfect’ people wouldn’t be throwing themselves off their own buildings.

Take care everyone and keep it a good day.

Bookmaker
Reply

£2 stake on FOBTs. Ruined the industry.

loser
Reply

Hi Mat,

I know how you feel i have been there and if you think you could make a movie out of your life well I am exactly the same mine would be a block buster box office hit! You say you have no control and maybe with some things you don’t have control, but their is one thing you can control and that’s your OUTLOOK on life. I think maybe trying to find some work would be good for you, you need to keep occupied and not have so much free time as this makes the urges intensify. Their is so much going on with you Mat firstly start with your health as this is the most important…physical health and mental health. Physical health first, for your body to function properly you need to feed it with nutrients and minerals and these can only be obtained from fruit and vegetables. Since you have spare time why not grow yourself a vegetable garden (as fruit tree’s take up to 7 years to produce fruit sometimes) take your time making healthy meals and drink lots of water. Avoid alcohol and make sure you have plenty of sleep, have a routine where you go to be same time, eat meals same time etc.
Now mental health is very hard to work on but anything can be achieved from a positive outlook, instead of looking at all the bad thats happened concentrate on the good. It really depends on how you look at things you say you have no work and it’s bad whereas someone else would see it as good and think lucky you not working. It’s all about your attitude! I think their is a lot more going on than gambling here Mat and I highly suggest you go see a counsellor ASAP just to have someone to talk to and listen to you. Driving tests are hard I just passed mine in my youth and I cannot tell you how much money i have given the police over the years for traffic offences. Maybe it’s a good thing you failed the driving test if your not ready to drive on the roads then so what? You want them to pass you so you kill yourself in a crash or other’s? Just ask what your doing wrong and practise and practise before you sit another test. Besides waking or going on your bike is cheaper and better exercise!

Put all measure’s in place to avoid gambling your money, just go right now and lock it up! You cannot gamble without money dosn’t matter even if you walk into the venue NO MONEY = NO GAMBLING!
Mat you have got your whole life ahead of you, your too young to give up now and where is the strong Mat who wasn’t gambling a few years ago? Where is the Mat who stopped gambling, went to the gym and had saved money?

You need to find him and find him quick!

So you have lost money well we all have Mat and we all regret our choices in life but life is long and you can make changes and start again. Forget the past and look into the future….that’s a bright and happy one without gambling. It’s not going to happen overnight and their might be relapses along the way but as long as you continue your journey to FREEDOM yes freedom to theses bloody machine’s then you will truly be happy and enjoy what life has to offer.

So you can sit there and complain and sulk and stay one same Merry go round or you can get off might be a bit dizzy to start with and walk the path of success with a bright future and good health and happiness to leave the past behind.

I know you can do this Mat, your a strong person just a bit down and out at the moment but its time to bounce back we are a human chain remember off that cliff but no one is letting go of anyone’s hands we are united and together Mat we can all do this.

TBC TAKE BLOODY CARE!

unlucky mat
Reply

and one more thing my life is such a fak up that if I wrote a book I would sell millions of copies, stuff straight out of movies not like this guy that posts here I forgot his name I think Nik he sold like 4 copies me I would sell millions. They could make movies out of my shitty life comedies life full of bad luck, accidents and illnesses, I broke my arms, legs like 10 times. I was even falsely accused before and arrested when I paid for the item and had a receipt believe that facking impossible becomes possible in my life. Add the gambling addiction and my freak outs and you have a facking box set Hollywood could make a series of my shitty life.

unlucky mat
Reply

Yesterday what a bitch of a day wont even go into details it feels like the whole world is against me bad things just happen, health is bad now its the kidneys been pissing blood again and iphone smashed I am down couple of hundred—- if you are me you don’t even need to lose gambling to have ruined day. plus I am out of work.
Loser how can I change life when I have ZERO control over it everything I touch turns to shit I couldn’t even pass driving test like for like 10 times, I am a piece of dumb shit that gets conned on every corner. I have a hunch back and pale skin allergic to everything if I was born to some native Indians they would have thrown me off the cliff

LOSER
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Hi Everyone,

My chocolate of choice is either rum and raison or cherry ripe followed by snicker’s. I like crunches too and sticking your tongue on the yellow part feeling it sizzle away. Jane maybe you will be the next Bolt? If you eat enough dark chocolate you may even resemble him slightly! Your daughter sounds funny (you won by a boob) lol Now I am imagining you like a Dolly Parton lookalike! Really interesting what you said that you connected with what you were doing, it’s like a mindfulness exercise isn’t it. Getting your head out of the bubble of gambling and breathing in the fresh air and waking up to your surroundings that were their all along!

Joanne I cannot remember your surname well I think I might I will shoot you a email and let me know if you got it. I sign in here with your old email address how funny that it works when you have closed it HAHAHAHAH Yes I have been working out though unfortunately I have lost weight in my face and looking older :( But I still got the good old Loser charm!

Now is Leo Vegas meant to be Las Vegas or you girls doing that weird shit again like TBC etc

Looks like it’s just the 3 of us the past few days like the 3 musketeer’s!

Hey Mat, Trevor, Andy Hope your not pushing buttons!!!!

Jane
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Excellent, Joanne, glad you are ticking off those self exclusions. It’s great cos then urges can come all they want and they can’t hurt you. Just knowing that you can still gamble makes you dwell on the thought because it is still a possibility. It’s really easy dismiss the urge if it is pointless thinking about it.

I have had the morning off work for an appointment and swung by Tescos on the way home. I thought of you, Joanne, down the choccy isle when I saw the fun size bars on offer! The Crunchie bars are the best. They are so addictive.
Loser, love your road runner joke. I proper laughed out loud, though I wish I had his lean long legs! We are having tea early tonight so we can do another run. My daughter is loving having her freedom back after the doc says she can do whatever she wants now, having been properly discharged following her fight with a car.

We jogged several circuits of the local park, then took the car to the lake, jogged round the lake, then we had races while the boys played football. She is like a whippet, so fast, but one race, I actually won her, but my daughter said I only won her by a boob! Lol. Half a stone to go and I will really feel like a new woman. I thought someone had slipped me something yesterday, I had so much energy. For the first time, I actually connected with what I was doing. Usually, I sit on the sidelines and think about betting while everyone else joins in with games or sports. This time, I was involved and I loved it. I realise that I have missed that feeling of being part of something, connecting to people…etc.. gambling made me quite boring and my kids really notice the happier me and that makes me proud of what I am doing.

Keep going everyone. Let the good times roll.
Big smile for me too, Trevor. I am liking the new me.

Joanne
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Those crunchie bars didn’t go by unnoticed, Jane. I bought those last Thursday! Lol I don’t know why but the small ones taste much better than the full sized bars. Just can’t stop at one.

The highlight of my week so far has been receiving my Tesco Clubcard vouchers in the mail!

25 extra point if you buy chocolate bars ! No surprise there.

I don’t know if I can still run, I can’t recall the last time I ran anywhere, jogging is very popular where I live.

Glad you’re enjoying life again and your daughter’s had a good recovery. That’s brilliant.

Some of the best things in life are free. Simple pleasures like enjoying quality time with your family.

All the best folks.

Jane
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Just had a look at my clubcard account online, since you mentioned it. I’ve got £12 on the way. Hurrah! I don’t get as much back as I used to as I find myself hopping about a bit these days between several supermarkets. Mostly cos I have to shop around for different foods for the kids diets. I pop in for one or two things and come out with a basket full. I always fail to bring enough bags with me too.
Enjoyed my run, though now I’m hungry again! The crunchie bar was always the first thing to go from the selection box at Christmas. I love the little bars cos you can have two and it makes you feel like you’ve been greedy but it’s still less than having a full size bar. Mostly, I like to eat at night. If I wake up, I come down and raid the fridge. It’s better than what I used to come down to do!
No more of that. I feel good and I want to stay that way.

I am still getting emails from some sites though none of them are the major ones. Heard that LeoVegas is in trouble again over failure to adhere to exclusions. Had a minor stint with them but the games would never load properly for me. It actually saved me from losing a fair bit once and I had to ask them for my money back. Some minor thoughts about gambling today but I just quietly acknowledged they were there and dismissed them. Mindfulness is teaching me to accept my feelings and not fight them. It tells you to allow yourself to feel your mood and process your emotions. It also tells us to not punish ourselves for thinking about gambling but to accept that it is normal to feel that way about something we have done for so long. It says as well that the easiest way to deal with gambling is to tell yourself ‘I don’t feel like gambling today’, to keep putting it off like it is something you don’t want to do, like the housework. It supposed to be a bit of reverse psychology on the brain by allowing yourself to think that it is still possible, but that you just don’t want to do it. Supposed to lessen the urges. I must admit, when I knew I could gamble, I didn’t want to do it half as much as when I stopped myself from doing it. That’s how I managed to open so many accounts.
Got to change that mindset too. Stopping yourself from doing it isn’t enough. We have to make ourselves not want it.
Gonna have to find something low cal to eat now. Got the munchies. Fresh air is a killer for making me hungry.

Joanne
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Yes , Jane , I read about Leo Vegas. Another casino I gifted a few thousand although I don’t think I had any problems with the site.

888 casino, the one Trevor mentioned a couple of days ago are probably in my top 5 hated online casinos , absolutely hated 888 casino, the games kept crashing, the customer service was appalling and they really cleaned me out, don’t think I had one decent spin.

That’s weird I too had 12 pounds of c.c vouchers although I did buy this phone with a double points voucher so that helped boost mine. There was great excitement in my neck of the woods when we finally got a Tesco but of course they’re not always the cheapest. I try to shop locally when I can, we still havee some excellent family run bakeries , butcher’s etc. I also shop a lot in Tesco because I’d wouldn’t want to lose the store . Although I go to the city regularly I still try and buy things locally if I can . My nearest small town has continued to thrive despite the recessions due to the fact that the local shops and tesco are well supported. As they say “use it or lose it’.

LOSER
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Well done Joanne now that’s a good start! Have you joined any social groups? Still waiting for you to email me can be just the once? I haven’t counted my days as I know 100 days would be around mid June. I am getting urges it’s almost like a memory path I would gamble a lot in winter as it was cold and wet and nothing to do here and I think the weather sends me down memory lane yet I have held strong! The urges are different almost like they don’t have enough pull factor on me these days! I really feel like a massive packet of Chips however I know I would regret it within 5 minutes! Had to laugh marathon eat, you sound like my good old days! My guns are looking great so no point in turning into a soggy old man lol.

Trevor glad you hd another gamble free day.

I wonder where Kate is these day’s?

Helloooooo Woody you there?

Hmmmmmm Jane 2 hour run? Whaddya road runner or something?

BEEP BEEP THAT’S ALL FOLKS!

Joanne
Reply

I can’t email you, I’ve forgotten your address!

Can you remember my real surname, (9 letters in it) if so , write it out in lower case and add 394@aol.com.

If not I’ll create a new email similar to the old one.

I’m just curious to know what you’re up to these days. I’m so nosey! Lol

Joanne
Reply

I should explain, I closed down the last email account I used to chat with you and couldn’t reopen it hence the reason I lost your email address.

You probably don’t know my surname in real life, I’ll create a new email later!

Joanne
Reply

Sounds like mr loser has been ‘working out ‘

You’ll be moving up a grade from ‘cute to hot !

Joanne
Reply

Sat up to midnight and worked my way through the list of gambling operators on Gamstop , I’d self excluded from all of them except one, One Click Ltd so joined one of their casinos and self-excluded straight away without depositing. I guess that’s just another way of doing it if you are having difficulty registering.

Jane, you’re so active, unfortunately I went on an eating marathon instead of a running one! Lol

I’m like that , I’ll eat a lot on one day, and then very little the next so it balances out and I don’t gain weight. For some reason I eat more on a Monday! I use to find I gambled most on a Monday as well, perhaps I don’t like Mondays!

LOSER, you must be getting near the two thirds mark (66DAYS) towards your target of reaching 100 days!

Anyway still sunny here, tired of all the drama around the Royal wedding, although I’ll probably watch it on tv!

Hope everyone is Good!

I

Trevor
Reply

Another day gamble free….the way life should feel like…a big smile on my face.
Night all unless you happen to live in Australia.

Jane
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Been out for a 2 hour run with my daughter. Just got back. First real natural high I’ve felt in years. There was a gorgeous soft cool breeze and the sun felt like it was shining just for us. I could have kept running tonight. One of those nights when everything just feels right. I can feel my thirst for life coming back and I want more of it. If this is what it feels like to be normal again, I’m all for it.

Joanne
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It’s time I kept a food diary , I really do eat a lot of rubbish. I have no self control when I go around a supermarket , yesterday I bought 50 fun size choc bars, red velvet cupcakes, 2 packets of Thornton’s carmel shortbread, 2 packets of Oreos, 2 packets of chocolate chip cookies , a packet of brioche buns , a chocolate cake and not forgetting a pot of chocolate trifle! WTF

I don’t really dream a lot, in fact very little. My trouble is I always fall asleep on the sofa whilst watching the news and Newsnight , then I wake up and can be up to around 1 in the morning hence the reason I often post around then.

The only dream I have is when I wake up around 3 in the morning thinking I ‘ve heard someone banging on my front door. I live off the beaten track with no street lighting so when it happens especially in winter when it’s pitch black I li e in bed absolutely petrified , practically not breathing, frightened to move for about 5 minutes. I had one of those electronic doorbells but I removed it because every time it rang I would practically jump out of my skin. Lol

Nice and sunny here too, May can often be our 2 weeks of summer and then it usually goes downhill.

Been looking at Gam stop but for some reason really struggling to sign up. I think it is going to be a life -saver for a lot of people once it gets over it’s teething problems. Been looking at lots of sites I’ve self excluded from most of them had the Gam stop logo.

Tbc

Joanne
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It’s really weird because in the early days when I first started to gamble online I was absolutely disgusted with myself when I was around one thousand pounds down. If Gam Stop had been available then I’m absolutely certain I would have signed up. I felt so ashamed and guilth for frittering away 1000 pounds. Funnily enough around Sept 2014 I won exactly one thousand pounds on a ‘darts ‘ game, you had to predict where the 3 darts landed. I remember feeling great relief at winning back the money I had lost. Why I didn’t walk away at that point, is something I’ll never understand. Maybe winning that 1000 pounds was the worst thing that could have happened to me. After that it was just loss after loss.

I think I’ve lost so much now that it just seems for some reason harder to sign up and finally let go .

All the best everyone.

Joanne
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The growth of this industry is showing no sign of slowing down, I’ve discovered 2 new betting sites this morning , ive self excluded from them both. I usually stumble across new casinos but not sports betting sites. Interestingly none of them offered horse racing just random sports like netball, badminton etc. How the heck bets on these types of sports?!

Joanne
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One of them just being issued with a licence in March 2018.

Jane
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So you kind of have Stockholm syndrome for the gambling industry…you perhaps feel already too far gone. In for a penny, in for a pound, that sort of thing??? I felt like that too last year. It resulted in some very heavy losses. I completely lost value for money and it was very scary. I have never put £1500 on a single spin of the wheel before, but desperation drove me to do it. I am still amazed that I could do that back in January. That’s what made me sign up. I didn’t recognise myself anymore and felt like I was out of control. That relapse was just over £6,000 and it has hurt me a lot. I am still putting it back months later but I lost it in just 2 hours.

I also used to feel disgust at losing £1,000. My cut off point used to be about £750 and I considered that way too much at the time. I have consistently outdone each relapse with bigger and bigger amounts and I think that was the reason for me signing up to Gamstop. I always thought I could do this on my own, but I have shown such blatant lack of control that I am afraid of what I am capable of. Every time I think I have blown the biggest amount yet, I go one step further and I was starting to wonder how far I will actually take this. Like I said to you the other day, Joanne….we are only one step away from doing something we cannot recover from. We all know the score by now. We’ve played the game and we know how it works. There is no saying we are naive anymore.
We are all fully qualified losers with years of experience. Shame no one’s hiring!

Would losing enough already not be reason enough to sign up now??? It’s not ever coming back. Nik said something to me once that made me sit up and take notice. He said that the money is never coming back because we would have to risk life changing sums of money to get back anywhere near what we have lost already, and how can we risk that when we are already on a cliff edge? Therefore, anything we do win is small because we are trying to manage our gambling and not lose more, so we are only keeping this cycle going by being thrown pennies back when we have lost thousands.
That’s precisely why we will always be slaves to this unless we just cut it out completely. I for one am terrified of losing any more money so when I do relapse, I am only betting small amounts and it doesn’t satisfy because it is nothing compared to what we have lost. How can we go back to being happy at winning £20 when we are down a house! That’s why the only way forward is to cut the throat of gambling and let it starve. (Ooh, sorry Nik, stole your line!)

New sites are coming all the time, I know. I try not to notice them or the ads but find that I always remember the names anyway. I only hope that they are from a group I am already excluded from. Sports betting sites don’t worry me too much, it’s the gaming sites, casinos that concern me. I can’t imagine getting a fix out of a game of badminton but each to their own, eh?! I love Nascar though, I must admit Americans know how to do motor racing. Formula One has lost me a bit lately. I used to watch it religiously but it’s not quite the same now they’ve messed with the cars. I liked it when the engines were loud and it was anyone’s race, now it’s overly predictable.

Jane
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Just looked up snowballing because I am looking to get the debt down. Didn’t quite get up what I was looking for. I really need to be more specific in my search terms.
Going to wash my eyes now….

Jane
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Well done yourself, Joanne for keeping your focus. Yes, it bothers me to think that the gambling companies only get richer, so if we win, it is only ever someone else’s money. Of course, it’s not as easy feel like that when it’s your turn to win. What helped me more to make this connection is when I have had a win, then someone on here reports a loss. I actually started to make that connection and see how immoral gambling is. It helps us to see the folly in what we are doing and the circumstances that keep us in this cycle. We are only ever moving money around between us and none of us can ever keep it. It’s like a sick and twisted game of hot potato. It is tainted and on a string and it can only ever go one way.

I like the idea of a stress diary, though I would probably need an A3 size! Ha ha. It can certainly help us to make connections to things that are bothering us. I kept a food diary when I was having stomach issues all the time after eating, but it kind of just made me think ‘gosh I eat a lot!’
I was told to keep a dream diary once and that was really weird. It’s a dark place in there. My dreams are never pleasant anymore. Always panic, dread, falling, losing the kids, strangers following me, key won’t fit the door, can’t get in, can’t turn on the light, feeling a presence in the room, not being able to breathe…that sort of thing.
I don’t sleep well at all since gambling. I wake up more tired if anything. I often wonder what I do when I go to bed. I thought about recording my sleep to see what the hell goes on with me, but then I watched Paranormal Activity and thought ‘actually, I don’t want to know!’.

Seen the new SkyBet ad. ‘you know that bit at the end of every ad, let’s put it at the start and let’s make it bigger’…..Seems like things are changing. Wouldn’t it be great it all the suffering we went through actually meant that people are sitting up and taking notice. I know lots of us have taken the time to actively campaign and complain, raise concerns etc….It would be nice to think that something good has come off the back of all our heartache and that in the near future, the affects of gambling harm will be reduced as companies accept their role in our suffering. They always quote that tiny figure of people affected by gambling addiction and I never agreed with it and now I know why…..the figure they quote is for those currently expressing a gambling problem, not those that are still in the denial phase. It also does not include past or potential addicts, only those who have presently stated an issue. Once an addict, always an addict. That much is true, but don’t be saddened by that. It certainly does not mean a lifetime of gambling. It just means careful management for life, just like you would take the time to look after your health and well being after having an illness or a health concern. People make changes to help themselves and we do the same with our gambling. Little changes go a long way because they make big things happen!

Have a great day, everyone. Keep going. Another glorious sunny morning. I can get used to this.

Joanne
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Well done , Jane 100 days! Trevor, every day a small victory until the war on gambling is won.

Mat, that’s exactly what I used to do, I would buy scratch cards and lotto tickets , would lose a lot of money and then think I could recoup the money by playing the slots and of course ended up with even bigger losses. It’s a losing game.

And you were right too, gambling is immoral, it’s horrible to think that someone has to lose a lot of money in order for someone else to win. It just struck me today when I was over on Gamcare reading how desperately low some people were feeling. It’s upsetting to think that the money won by one person is the very same money that someone has lost who is now feeling suicidal , in debt, unable to feed themselves etc.

Well done folks on another day gamble free.

Time to try again!

Now to win the war over not eating the 50 or so funsize bars of chocolate I just bought in the supermarket at half price that some how landed in my trolley! Mars bars, Twix, Milky way and Maltesers, okay 48 bars, ive just demolished 2 bags of Maltesers! Lol

All the best.

Joanne
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Loser,

Well done on 61 days, just think about it, that’s 2 months gamble free, bloody fantastic!

Didn’t know what more advice I could offer so did a search on how to stop stress building up, obviously exercise helps but quite liked the idea of a ‘stress diary ‘, writing down what’s bothering you , a good way of getting it out of one’s system. Maybe by writing it down , what’s upsetting you may not seem as bad and it gets it out of the system bit by bit, instead of letting it all build up. If it’s someone else’s behaviour or unreasonable demands that are stressing you out , try and let it go, put yourself first.

As Trevor says, make sure every base is covered, no access to money etc so that relapse is virtually impossible.

You’ve come to far now buddy, you can do this .

Take bloody care!

Joanne
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Also, bear in mind loser , although I’m quite sure you’re still lovin’ your new hobby , that sometimes when the ‘shine wears off ‘ something new like joining a club, meeting new people , a new car whatever , we can find ourselves slipping back into our old ways. Just be vigilant, Keep focused. Keep every base covered, no access to money, looked what happened to me last week.

Anyway time I was getting some źzzzzz’s , now what shall I dream about , Loser in a policeman’s outfit ! Lol

Trevor
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Hi Loser,
My only help is to visualize if This stress pushed you really hard of the edge and you lost say AUD 3,000. The minor stress you have no influence has not changed, but you are now a large wedge of money down. So your no way near better off. Just try and keep focused on not gambling and keep your money safe so that when the time comes….money can be used to have influence a bad situation into a good one.

Gamble free day for me…so chuffed.

Jane
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Loser, ask yourself if the issues that stress you are out of your control, then how can you possibly hope to change them? No amount of stressing out is going to help. All it does is change your perception of the issue and make it seem hopeless.
Remember that gambling will weaken you. Whatever problems you face can be far better tackled while you are strong and free from gambling. Allow me to give you a little advice that has helped me in the past…whatever the issue is, you cannot control what happens, but perhaps you can prepare for it? An example might be that your place of work is cutting hours, you have no say over this and you can’t prevent it from happening, but you could start cutting your spending in preparation, just in case.
Or for example, someone is upsetting you or doing something that affects you. Again, you cannot control someone else’s behavior but you can control your own. You can control the way you might respond to such a situation and deal with it in the best way possible to reduce conflict. Perhaps there is a compromise?
Concentrate your energy on positive things that you can influence. You can set an example for people to follow, but you can’t make them do what you want. Try to make sure that the time you spend thinking about the issue is constructive. For example, are you just dwelling on things, or are you rationaising and problem solving. Is this issue actually worth your time? If it’s not, discard it and channel your energy into things you can influence. You can give advice, but you can’t make people take it. Keep life in balance between work and play and deal with stress as you find it. Don’t let things build up and put pressure on you.

Remember that old saying, change the things you can, accept the things you can’t and be wise enough to know the difference.
Keep smilin’ :)

Would have been 100 days today. Still is I suppose in some ways. Not gonna count anymore, just going to focus on being happy.
Hope you all had a good weekend.

Trevor
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Jane,
Done 100 days in my eyes…well done. No matter how me measure or don’t measure the journey we are on, we must do our best to keep strong and abstain. They will be blips and wobbles on the way, but it how to cope with them afterwards and also in my opinion how quickly we see sense during the blip or wobble. My normal spend is 180 to 250, but I spent 120 on Friday night before I got bored. That’s good…even though it was on line which I don’t prefer. Also 13 days since being in a bookies….that’s good going for me.

We need to mentally reinforce all the positives we have achieved and keep going. I had funds and opportunity for 3 hours of gambling today, but did other things. If this position was given to me 6 weeks ago I would of gambled for sure.

Positive mindset will always help.

All the best…keep strong.

Jane
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Thanks, Trevor. That’s sound advice. Well done for your achievements too. This can still be a great year.

LOSER
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Hi Everyone,

Joanne I cannot remember when we started to email? Has it already been 1 year? WOW……..

Well done Mat, make changes to your life also as turning your head and not thinking about gambling won’t be enough long term.

Trevor so glad you have a plan in place and are excited to begin your journey sounds promising.

I have had a little stress lately and have noticed that the more stress i have had the more my thought’s and urges to gambling grow. Whilst I don’t feel that tempted I do wonder if one day I am pushed over the edge that all this build up will explode and I will find myself back behind a machine. I’m not as confident as I was weeks ago as what is causing this stress is minor but out of my hands completely.

DAY 61 wow

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