Comments

LOSER
Reply

2:30am here relapsed again was tired, sick and didn’t want to go but found myself at the bloody casino again. Hurts to not want to go yet something has brain washed me enough to go anyway and I have no control.. Put $50 in won $1800 HUGE FLUKE betting high like a maniac again! Amazingly ran for a cheque and got the full amount in cheque very pleased with myself yet continued to gamble the other $250 in my wallet, lost that withdrew $400 and won another $1000 I said to myself get a cheque quick but wasn’t strong enough mentally to and lost it all then withdrew my last $70 and believe it or not won $1200 betting like a maniac I wanted to leave, I wanted to get a cheque but lost it all, Have come home depressed that this addiction has so much control over me…HOW WILL I STOP! I had urges today and it felt like I hadn’t been in ages when it was only Monday I last went. So over this shit it’s going to ruin my life I am completely out of control and what hurts most is it’s like these machines have brain washed me and sometimes I feel like I didn’t even go? What is with that? In a few weeks going to work out a plan and cut every card I own up!!!!

Jane
Reply

Hi, Loser, sorry this has happened to you again. What you are reporting is the trance-like state of an addicted gambler. A certain amount provides escapism and we can enter it without even knowing. It creates a feeling of detachment, a feeling of it being only us and the machine. It allows us to believe that whatever loss happened before is in the past, but this time you might win!! It can make cares melt away and make people feel a sense of euphoria. Some gamblers report being in the trance all the time while gambling, where others find they go through phases of being in and out of the state hours or even days after gambling.

This is dangerous, Loser. That feeling of not really being there at the casino, both while you are there and when you return home is happening to you for two different reasons: the first one is the result of dopamine while you are spinning and winning/chasing….while you are in the moment etc…It creates calm and a loss of control because it removes the fear and caution that should come with risking lots of money. It is this same trance that numbs us into losing thousands and tricks us into believing anything is possible. People start to have an over inflated idea of their own capabilities, it makes them feel like they are invincible, powerful and that as long as they keep throwing money at it, then the win is bound to come.

The second one where you feel detached when you come home and in that sort of dream-like state is withdrawal. Your brain is dumbing you down, Loser, separating you from the pain you feel inside both physically and mentally. It again detaches you from the problem, which is gambling and makes you feel like you didn’t even go because the brain puts the anxiety you associate with gambling on hold. It freezes it almost, so you don’t relate to it, can’t get your head around it, so you don’t hurt as much. It does this for two reasons: one because the brain wants to protect you because you are full of stress endorphins after gambling, and two, because the brain is selfish. It wants you to keep gambling because it wants the hit of dopamine. That’s why your brain will constantly remind you that gambling is good because that is what you have taught it because the brain loves dopamine and it gets that fix even while you are losing. You get the hit while you are in a heightened state of chasing too because of the anticipation of a win. It whips you up into a frenzy and makes you bet more and more because the win is only around the corner, right? The problem is that your brain gets high, even while you go low and this is why the brain can’t see that gambling is bad and wants more, even though you might want to curl up and die. People have been shown to have raised dopamine levels at the mere though of gambling, whilst shown a picture or during an advert. This is why it is such a dangerous addiction. You don’t even have to be doing it, to still be under its’ influence.

That feeling of helplessness and loss of control is therefore reduced by the trance, which is why we say we are desensitised to gambling and to the loss, which is why a person will gamble again, despite the harm. They want to go back to gambling, to enter that state of ‘frozen emotion’ where they don’t have to address what is happening to them, and can focus only on the gambling again. In effect, what your brain is actually doing is helping you to hurt yourself. This is why it is important to use your mind, not your brain to make decisions about gambling. The mind is rational and logical, where the brain is impulsive and irrational. Your brain tells you you can fly in your dreams, but your mind reminds you that you can’t. Your brain might say go gamble, it feels good, but your mind will be able to rationalise that decision not to, because last time you got hurt. Don’t listen to your brain Loser, it functions while you are asleep or unconscious. What does that tell you? Let your mind guide you to make conscious, rational choices.

That reluctance to enter the real world again is withdrawal Loser. It hurts doesn’t it? Of course it does. That’s why your brain is trying to save you from addressing it by making it seem like it didn’t even happen. I went through this an awful lot, and found that it made me gamble more and more because each time I gambled, I was able to forget the time that went before. I came to depend on gambling to erase the pain of my last loss, only to create another loss, followed by another, followed by another…..
You know how the rest of the story goes, Loser.
xx

mat
Reply

7 days gamble free, it will be another 3 weeks before I earn what I lost on the 31st in 30 minutes that’s how quick damage is done on the fobts money thrown away without ever getting it back. I could have bought clothes eat well and gone on holiday for the whole month but i have to work instead in freezing weather with indigestion cause I eat crappy junk food and sweets to kill hunger f.ck my life.

Jane
Reply

It will be May for me, Mat, by the time I get back my 3 grand. I’m still hurting badly over it, but I am stronger for it. In a weird way, I’m grateful for the horrible reminder. It proves that no matter how long we go without gambling, our luck will never change. We will not be gifted anything in life, we have to work for it ourselves and work even harder to keep it.
We need to learn respect for money again, but most of all, we need to learn to respect ourselves again.
Stick with it this time Mat. No more self harm, that’s all it is. If you win, you are not lucky. You are only delaying the inevitable. Eat well, live well and love yourself, just like Loser says. I can do the first one just fine, I am working on the other two, but ultimately, everything will fall in to place if we can just learn to do the last one.
x

Jane
Reply

Just got my Tesco credit card statement through. Been charged £12 for going over my limit by 9 pence.
I’m so sick of these greedy companies, robbing people in the name of providing a service. How can £12 be a justifiable charge for going over limit by a mere 9p?
It’s just these little things that rub me right up the wrong way and change my entire mentality.
Utter disgusting to profit from poor people in this way. Believe it or not, £12 is about all I see after I pay my way each week.
Next time I go shopping in Tesco’s, I might just forget to scan a few items. #supermarketsweep

Kate
Reply

That really is annoying Jane – presumably it’s just a computer set to charge no matter what the amount is – do you think it might be worth telephoning /emailing the credit card customer service team and telling them about this … see if there is any flexibility?

Jane
Reply

Yes, I plan to complain, Kate. No surprise there! I know 12 quid is nothing on top of what I already owe, but it just affects my mood and attitude in an adverse way. My head just seems to go down so easily since I started gambling. Even little things can make me feel punished. I used to have such a high tolerance for things going wrong, quite a blase attitude to life and its problems. Now I feel every little thing is just another slap in the face. I guess that is the depression talking, eh? I remember completely breaking down once on the garden just because the rain had soaked all my washing. I knew then that I had to address things properly and that’s when I got diagnosed with the bipolar.
The funny thing is, Kate. I only got my Tesco Clubcard voucher through yesterday and guess what it was for! Yep, £12.
That just sums up the way my life goes, I get something in one hand and it is taken out the other.
Still, I’m doing okay and like Nik, I feel that this is it for me now with gambling. It’s true, sometimes you just need that bit of a shock to make you realise that it’s time to get out.
Now, I’m just looking forward to normal life, instead of trying to escape it. I realise that it was never life that I was trying to hide from, it was myself. Now I am learning ways to face up to my fears so that I can get on with life alongside my problems, working with them, instead of trying to pretend they aren’t there.
There is an old saying….know your limitations, but rise above your own constraints. You will never know how far you can go until you get there!

Kate
Reply

I’m liking the know your limitations and rise above your constraints saying ! Today I have really really enjoyed the crisp weather and bright blue skies today ..lifts the spirits

I think I would have spoken to Tesco ….. the amount you went over is so small, if they have an gram of humanity they will be kind to you ……

I’m feeling less and less connected to gambling these days …… thank goodness ! But I now know I am highly susceptible to gambling and addiction and need to steer well clear for life. For example, I do find it quite difficult to walk past the slots in motorway service stations ….. and sometimes imagine that I am walking in, even though there is usually just one bloke slumped in front of a machine in a dimly lit enclosure ….I still have to tell myself not to go in ….. it is such a powerful addiction ….. I will never judge anyone either for becoming addicted, or finding it hard to stop .

All the best and here’s hoping for more sunshine

Nik
Reply

That is exactly how I am feeling, Kate – less connected to gambling.
This is why I can laugh at or dismiss their adverts.
It does annoy me when gambling industry, the Institute of Economic affairs and mps such as Philip Davis dismiss the numbers of problem gamblers as exaggerated.

I think for millions of people there is no such thing as responsible gambling.
They wouldn’t advise you to smoke a responsible number of fags!

Kate
Reply

Glad to hear it Nick – it is a good feeling …… I find the ads annoying and strange – particularly the one for Virgin ….. a young dracula? Not the most attractive character …… also strangely dark – it’s the gambling companies who are the blood suckers!

Jane
Reply

Yes, gorgeous today. Made me feel good too. I was out getting some bramble for Simon(s) after work and it was glorious. (least they eat for free!) You are brave if you consider walking into those kind of joints, Kate! I know you first got hooked in the real world on that cruise ship, and then took up gambling online. For me, there’s no risk of gambling in any other way except online, so I don’t ever worry about that.
They always seem like the kind of joints where people ‘get disappeared’ in those slasher movies…..you know the kind, where you’re heading down a lonely highway, and then you inconveniently run out of gas and find yourself walking to the nearest station stop, only to enlist the help of a deranged psychopath.
That should hopefully put you off, Kate!

Since going through this, I am even more understanding of how people get themselves into all sorts of situations that they didn’t think themselves capable of. I have seen the darker side of myself, and it worried me a lot to know the risks I was willing to take. Once I separate myself from the event, I can see so clearly my mistakes, but at the time, I am blind and helpless. I have zero control while gambling, but I do have control BEFORE it happens. That’s why it is so important to prevent relapse because we are so much stronger before the event, than during it.
I have switched off and prevented many relapses in the past year, and that is why I am not going to continue to beat myself up about this one. I have proved myself capable of rational thought and been able to avert any urges without incident but I know that once the decision to gamble has been made and that first bet is placed, that for me, there is no turning back until I win or have nothing left to gamble with. They are the only possible two outcomes and we all know which one is most likely.
Prevention may seem hard when the urges strike, but it is so much easier than walking away from a loss so everyone remember that.

Kate
Reply

I think it is highly unlikely I will find myself stopping for a pasty and quick wallet empty playing slots on the motorway ….particularly after your description! Which reminds me – it took me ages to understand your joke about tooth brushes! But I watched the movie and laughed so much I cried! Hilarious! What a strange movie!

Nik
Reply

The bookies endless adverts onTv are actually backfiring as far as I am concerned, as the more I see the stronger it is making me against giving them anymore of my money. Although it’s only just over a month gamble free, and I have gone longer in the past,I really feel I have conquered it this time.
My latest gambling addiction book might not be selling, but compiling it has really helped me see the suffering gambling addiction causes.
As has the pain people have repeatedly shown on here.
I am never gambling again.
Let ‘me starve!

Jane
Reply

I’m really glad you feel that way, Nik. I am often neutral to the adverts for the most part, but sometimes I find they affect my mood either for or against gambling. If I’ve just relapsed, like recently, then the ads are a painful reminder of my loss, and although that is a good thing, I still find that I attribute the blame to my own stupidity, rather than the industry, so it doesn’t really make me think of gambling as a negative thing, more so, that I am stupid for gambling.
Seen in the news that 25,000 under 16’s are thought to be problem gamblers in the UK.
I think most people found their first introduction to gambling being the rather innocuous looking fruit machines that lurked about in our high streets of old. I’ve seen them in humble places like chip shops, Chinese take aways and snooker halls. They did seem to creep in everywhere, but were phased out with the gambling act of 2005 in non gambling environments. This started many people gambling and was the main reason my dad became addicted to gambling and losing all his wages every week. Talk to some more seasoned folk and they will tell you that this was how it all started for a lot of people.

It also seems to me that people are in a rush to introduce kids to gambling in ways that they may think are relatively harmless. My daughter is 16 and I can’t tell you how many people put scratch cards and lottery tickets in her Birthday card like it is some sort of milestone as if to say, yay, now you can gamble!
I think there is a difference of opinion when it comes to bingo and lottery, but it is still possible to lose a fortune doing either and it is very easy to go from a humble game of bingo with friends, to wanting that fix online 24/7. It is very much a form of gambling, but it is perceived differently, perhaps because there are fewer people who spend vast amounts of money online. People do seem to do it more as a hobby, routinely spending more than they win, but still enjoying it. Perhaps that’s why there is less noticeable addiction when it comes to online bingo. Stakes are cheaper, and the game play takes longer and frequently spend time in the chat rooms, so although people spend a lot of time playing bingo online, they may not spend anywhere near as much as someone who plays the slots or roulette. A lot of people report that it is the chat they play for not the money, happily losing a few quid each night in exchange for some ‘company’. This is because in the real world, talking is frowned upon in the bingo halls so I guess people get the best of both worlds online.

Anyway, keep going Nik, glad you feel good and hope it stays that way for you.

Jane
Reply

Yes, good, that’s a great attitude everyone. Let’s keep going now. It’s important to remember that although we may be up one day or down the next, it is mathematically impossible to win in the long run, so it is all only chasing shadows. I have proven to myself time and time again, that winning money doesn’t genuinely make me feel good, but strangely, losing a lot of money also doesn’t make me feel bad for that long. A week, two weeks after a heavy loss, if we stay away from gambling, and accept it, we will start to feel better. It proves that are lives and moods are based on much more than just the cash flow. We will still be down a lot of money, but it goes out of our head, and stops mattering as much. Life carries on, but it won’t do if we go so far as to bury ourselves with this. Gambling is not going to keep giving us chances. One day, we may lose it and go so far as to ruin ourselves. A lot of us have had a rude awakening lately, so let’s learn from that. It’s not going to change in a month or twelve months, gambling will always burn us if we go back for more, be it a win or a loss, it means nothing because it can’t erase the past and it will only mean more gambling in the future.
Let’s walk away.
I think we need to go back to basics and find genuine ways of making ourselves feel good, whatever that may be. It might be sport, it might be job satisfaction, it might be a goal to save money and treat yourself to something nice, but whatever it is, we need to go get happiness for ourselves not sit at a machine and expect it to come and land in our lap. I for one am tired of depending on a machine to make me happy. Why should a stupid wheel decide my fate? How little we must think of ourselves to put our trust, our future in something as fixed and futile as gambling? It’s nothing more than Russian roulette, we are holding the gun to our own head and pulling the trigger. We may get lucky some times, but one day our luck will run out and we will all bite the bullet, eventually. There’s only so many times we get to learn from our mistakes. If we fail to learn ourselves, we may be forced to learn the hard way and we may destroy ourselves to the point of no return and you know what that means….no more chances and we may all be out of time.
Time to get the self respect back now.

mat
Reply

If we win I know the money will be back in the machine or casino very soon those wins are nothing but high interest loans we are all problem gamblers and we will never play using our brain, we cant control emotions and its best to stay away completely lets start counting days and focus on it the longer we stay away the will power will be stronger.
I know not gambling may not solve all problems in life but it will certainly make it better, the slots/roulette cant be beaten losses will only get bigger, we are destined to lose there is no skill involved and the odds are against us expecting to win is lke expecting not to get burned in a fire.
Loser exclude yourself from the casinos you go to and get some barriers on your bank account.
Best wishes to all of you.

Monica
Reply

Hi there. Yes, hearing about big wins is a trigger. I was triggered on the way back from Hereford hearing about someone’s six figure win. But you know what, she blew the lot along with everything else. It is just a trigger and we need to recognise our triggers and do something else. The destruction this illness caused me is enough to stop me.

LOSER
Reply

It’s 3am here just got home from a relapse, I don’t know what to do with myself I took $500 won $2800 and didn’t have my casino card as I had cut it up also didn’t have my driver’s license so couldn’t get another casino card to get a cheque so I played. I found my licence got a casino card and thought I would get the cheque later as I needed $500 cash to take home with me to pay for something the next day. I wanted to get the cheque before i left as I was worried I might gamble the $500 I needed. Next thing you know I lost it all, I cannot believe it! I feel like it’s not me and another person as I would never gamble so much. Out of control spinning $7.50, $10 a pop RIDDICULOUS! I was so tired wanted to go home but didn’t have the strength to go and as much as I didn’t want to I withdrew money and gambled some more. Fluke won $1300 and still couldn’t walk I wanted my $2800 back. Took the $1300 down to $450 so depressed and hit like a maniac $10 spins got the feature and won around $600. So all up I left in profit of only around $310 when I could have left with $2500. I am scared because I feel like I wasn’t even there like it was someone else gambling. 2:30am isn’t a fun place to be at the casino it’s half empty and full of drug dealer’s (well dressed one too) I got scared in the car park and bolted for my car hahaha incase one approached me.
I think I will leave rethink for a while and try not to read anything as I did well when they took it offline, I think reading people’s post makes me gamble sometimes.
I will check in now and again so much for my promise to remain gamble free.
I sound like a parrot but DAY 1 = 6TH FEB 2018

Kate
Reply

aarrghh – sorry to hear that Loser …… you may be right ….much as it would be sad if you didn’t post, if it is keeping your mind on gambling, then maybe you need to stay away for a while? But we’ll miss you

Jane
Reply

Sorry to hear that Loser. You may be right about the site. I think if we were all stacking up our days, then we draw strength from each other to keep going, and the site is a positive influence, but when people relapse, it can make you think about gambling, especially if people win. You were right about my post the other day, Joanne’s win did bother me a bit, I know that she only got back some of her own money from that last horrible loss, but that’s all I wanted too, to get my money back. I was plagued with urges to get the money back once the initial shock and horror had passed. I didn’t care if I won any more money, I just wanted to get my £3,000 back because I told myself that it might help wipe the slate clean and help me carry on. This is how gambling plays tricks on you, and makes you go back for more.
It know it wouldn’t help me carry on at all, and it would most likely just make me want to gamble again, but I was hurting badly because of the money that belonged to my family because I let them down.

When people mention wins, and you have relapsed too, it’s only natural to think you can do it too, and get your money back and it plays on your mind. I just had to see the bigger picture and know that addressing my loss, and moving on is the best way to leave the relapse behind, but for a while there, Joanne’s win was on my mind, yes. It’s only natural. I only hope she still has it. (hope you are well, Joanne and still GF)

Now, the urges have passed and I am not willing to risk another penny to get that money back. It’s gone, along with the rest. I will never get all my losses back, and trying to win just some back, will only keep me gambling for the rest of my life and that’s a great way to turn a 3 grand loss into a 10 grand loss.
Winning back losses is not the way to leave gambling behind, and after a while, we are able to see this more clearly. However, for a while there, I was seriously considering giving it a go.
That’s the trouble, isn’t it? We’ve all lost so much already, that losing just a bit more doesn’t seem like such a big deal. But it is. It is a much bigger deal than we think, because every single penny we spend is like another link in the chain that keeps us tied to gambling.
No more for me. Hope you feel okay soon, Loser.

mat
Reply

Jane thanks for your reply, I know you mean well but its not that easy to stay positive I really don’t have much going for me, job that is dangerous that I hate and apart from that I sit at home watching movies and youtube plus single with no children that’s why I have some savings.
I am really depressed and have stomach problems I try go to the gym and drink herbal teas but it only works so much its only day 5, hopefully it gets better.
Best wishes

Jane
Reply

Mat, I tell you all these things, but I struggle to believe them too. You are right, it is not easy to be positive, because when you have addiction, it makes you negative. I want to be happy and that sounds stupid, because I should be happy with everything I have. You shouldn’t have to try to be happy, should you? It surely should come naturally. Why then do I always feel so low? I can be in a room full of people and feel completely alone. I don’t enjoy being around people. I like museums, libraries, galleries…the wilderness….quiet places. I don’t think like other people do, I don’t relate to them and I have to force myself to talk about stuff I’m really not interested in, just to have a conversation, because generally speaking, people don’t want to talk about my interests, unless I happen to have bumped into David Attenborough!

If I am happy for a while, I search for a reason not to be, it’s like I won’t let myself be happy and I don’t know why. I guess it comes from the fact that every time I am doing okay, and things are going well, something bad always happens to mess it up. I have gotten used to being crapped on, I think that’s why I end up hurting myself with gambling. I never get a break. There is always bad news to follow good news, or something to ruin a nice day. I’m afraid I have come to expect it and that is not a nice way to live.
I would just like to go back to a time before I first gambled. Gambling changed me so much. It made me bitter and angry inside. It made me both love it and hate it at the same time. I leaned on gambling to feel good, even though it only ever made me feel bad, even if I won. It was just something to do to keep from thinking about real life but it made me feel even more isolated.
This whole addiction sucks the life out of everything. It should be illegal to make someone lean on something like that, then advertise it constantly on telly, telling people to gamble responsibly when they know well that they make most of their money from the poor addicted souls who can’t.
They are leeches. Worse than leeches. At least leeches have a purpose.

NIK
Reply

I see there is an upcoming television drama about gambling addiction starring Sheriden Smith. I guess it was only a matter of time.
However I expect it will concentrate on the more dramatic and more publicised betting shop FOBTS, rather than the equally insidious and more widespread solitary online addiction.

I am sill gamble free since 31 December with no urges whatsoever.
2018 is going to be gamble free for me.

Let ‘em starve!

Jane
Reply

I dunno, Nik, I might take up hoovering in the Wharf if I can get my hands on some lucrative trading info on the markets. Don’t tell Loser, he might want the job!
:)

mat
Reply

Nik the FOBT’s that’s my problem, they are everywhere and impossible to avoid you can just walk in and put money I started playing them even before I had my first bank account, online gambling is bad but at least if you block or cancel cards you cant gamble, My card is non debit so I couldn’t even use it for online gambling. Both the FOBT’s and online gambling needs to get banned or restricted but won’t happen, there was the supposed ‘consultation’ which ended on the 23rd Jan and its quiet the government are money hungry leeches that are paid off by the gambling industry they only care about their kids private schools and luxury holidays nobody gives shit about some gambling addicts.

Jane
Reply

Hi, Mat, I feel you are being unnecessarily hard on yourself. You point out all these ‘negative’ aspects of your life, but from my perspective, as an outsider looking in, your life looks pretty good.

You are young. That’s a huge plus in your favour. I would love to slash 20 years off my tally and so would most people on here.
You have a job, whether it’s a dead end job or not, it’s still a job.
You have 20k saved up which is a huge amount of money, yet you say you ‘only’ have 20k saved up. Do you realise what savings you have Mat, would solve my entire financial situation? I’d have no more money worries, if I had your financial situation. Your income is your own at the end of the week. Mine isn’t.
One person’s idea of being poor is another person’s idea of living like a king! Learn to appreciate yourself more.
You say you have nothing in common with people, but maybe you just have nothing in common with the people you hang out with? It may also be because you label yourself a gambler. You are much more than just a person who gambles. You have lots of interests, but I feel you may hide behind your gambling and associate with people who bring out this more negative side. Let the good side shine, Mat, and you will attract people that have those interests instead. Have you ever thought that if you shake the gambling, you will be far happier, and will attract happy, positive people instead of people who want to scrounge off you and use you.

I fear that gambling has overshadowed all your better qualities and drained your positive personality and outlook and that may be what people notice, not your ethnicity.
However, I think people judge everyone, for a variety of reasons, but all I’m saying is that it may not always be for the reasons that you think. Perhaps you expect people to judge you without giving them a fair chance to get to know you too?
People may judge you because you might be giving off negative vibes based on how you feel about yourself. If you judge yourself negatively, others will pick up on this. It may well be to do with being foreign sometimes, because there is a fair amount of ignorance about, but it may be down to the vibes you give off because you feel negative towards yourself too. I couldn’t care less where people are from. To me, people are just people. Colour and race is irrelevant and should not even be asked on forms or job applications. I judge people based on their character and their decency and honesty, and I would like to think that everyone deserves the same chances and opportunity as everyone else. If people are being racist or judgemental towards you in this way, then their small minded opinions do not matter anyway, Mat. Rise above them. Their day will come to be judged too.

I see you had problems with bullying too. I nearly failed my education because of this. I spent my school days hiding out in the local park and in town stealing chocolate bars and cans of coke. Not the most creative choices, but it was a long day away from home and my mum thought I was in school having dinner, so I needed some food to eat. People at school made my life miserable. Not physical bullying, that would have been easier, but mental torture, name calling and humiliation. They would spread rumors about me, and get me in trouble all the time and steal my things, my bag, my coat. They would put things in my bag that weren’t mine and accuse me of taking them and destroy my work so I couldn’t hand it in.
I started to see that my life was going down a different direction because I was letting people get to me. It was changing my personality. I realised I was making a mistake, and throwing my education away, and if I kept up the stealing, I’d be going to jail if I was older.
I walked in to school after being told I might not be able to sit my exams because I had such a poor attendance, and told them what was going on. The teachers were pretty useless, and pretty much sided with the bullies and laughed along with their comments, but I wasn’t ready to give up.
Life was hard, but I stuck with it, and started to get good grades. I closed my ears to the negativity and Instead of dying to leave, I stayed on and did A levels. Most of the bullies left at 16, so life was good and I could get on with just being me.
I think we just have to learn to appreciate ourselves more and look at all the good things we have going for us, appreciate the good people in our lives and disregard the rest. Feeling down about our lives all the time will cause us to gamble out of discontentment.
Instead, tell yourself….
I am Mat, I have a job, I have savings, I am a good person and I have a lot going for me. Anyone who doesn’t like you for who you are Mat, doesn’t deserve to know you. Forget them.
I for one, am very happy to have had your company throughout this very difficult time in my life.

mat
Reply

Loser I know I said I was going to book tickets but that was just upset talk after a loss, Its a big decision how will i support myself i am stuck in a dead end job and have only 20k saved up. I work late hours and it takes all the energy, really depressed i come as really awkward i attract losers that want money from you or other gamblers, i cant keep conversation as i find i have nothing in common with people, and being a foreign person that’s another obstacle i feel people judge me and im just a immigrant to some people and they wont give me a chance, my life is really sad i don’t know what next. I ended up in the wrong place with gambling addiction and a shit job that kills me slowly. Last time i joined sporting club i broke leg and was in even worse situation bad luck seems to follow me everywhere. In school i was bullied and had no friends and hated it that was part of reason i quit after that gambling started.

LOSER
Reply

Hi Everyone,

Just a quick “Hello” here from the non gambling addict (Well for now anyway)
Firstly Congratulations Kate I think you said 4th Feb was one year for quitting smoking so well done!

I had urges today and started to talk to myself and reason with myself that the money I had on me $700 ( Didnt get time to go to the bank ) will be needed to pay for bills so not to go to the casino. I even had convinced myself WOW until the afternoon when I fantasised about winning there! Amazingly I resisted I have no idea WHY so now I am on 7 days gamble free when the clock strikes 12.

Hey Mat, you say you don’t know what to do but YOU DO KNOW WHAT TO DO! I cannot believe you haven’t done it yet? Didn’t you say you were leaving the country? If not have you joined any sporting clubs and made new non gambling friends? Make changes in order to not fall in the same pattern of gambling.

Hope Joanne is gamble free I am sure she is……

Jane, Duncan, Andy, Mat, Kate, Monica, Joanne, Cherly and everyone else STAY FOCUSED, LOVE YOURSELF AND BE HAPPY!!

Kate
Reply

Thank you Loser ….i have just celebrated improved lung function with a brisk walk up and down hills with the happy hound ….much less out of breath …blood pressure down too. All good stuff. Some gambling urges ….all this talk of relapse I think, but staying strong …there is such a fine line isn’t there ? Hope you stay gamble free ….7 days is good going ……
All the best

Kate

Jane
Reply

A fabulous achievement, Kate. Very well done to you.
I think we all get urges from time to time, it doesn’t mean anything unless you act on it and it doesn’t mean you are going back the way. It was a big part of your life for a long time, and it isn’t just going to vanish. Talk of relapse does probably make you relate to your own experience, and make you re live those memories, good and bad.
Glad to hear you had good news on your health check and that you and Woody enjoyed a nice walk together. Just remember to hold on to your hat!
:)

Jane
Reply

Hello yourself, Loser. Keep going. I often find myself making imaginary bets and winning, especially after relapse when you are plagued with wanting that money back. I don’t plan to, I just find myself doing it.
Just watched my auctions ending on ebay. You can lose so much money so quickly gambling, but it takes so many personal items to put even a fraction of that money back. It is painful, really.
Seems like some of my items are coming your way, Loser, so there will be some well dressed girls in Australia. Sucks big time, I really must stop doing this to myself. It’s been two weeks since my relapse, and I’m still scratching about trying to sell stuff and have hardly made an impression.
Only when you look at your losses in terms of things you have around the house, can you really appreciate how much money you throw away, and what that money can buy. I lost all respect for money, but I am working on getting back to to reality. Gambling is the same as living in fantasy land. It’s not real and the dream doesn’t last. It gives you a taste of it, so you want it, then it snatches it away. We then spend the rest of our lives trying to feel that way again. It is so sad.
I can’t tell you how much I am hurting right now, seeing people bidding on my items, but I want this to be a harsh lesson for me.
A few of us have had a hard time lately, but we have to pick ourselves up and just move on.

No one is gonna get their hands on any more of my stuff, not even a sock! It’s mine I tell ya! MINE!!

:)

mat
Reply

3 days gamble free now I am starting to wake up, that big loss is needed to get your act together there is no good future with gambling past 10 years feels like I was away in prison with no bars losing most of money I had and I didn’t even have enough, I ask myself what the f… happened, I left school in 2009, isolated myself and only ever gambled if I gone out, almost did no travelling or any fun activities, didn’t even go to the restaurant apart from junk food like kebabs or kfc. What gambling did to me is torture at times I wanted to kill myself back in 2013 after that I stopped for 16 months but started again in 2015.
No life at the moment except working late, honestly I don’t know what to do with myself.

Monica
Reply

Well done Jane. I expect you will get some lackey and a meaningless corporate response about what they are doing to recognise compulsive gamblers which will be complete made up rubbish. I remember William Hill. They took a lot of my money twice and it was straight through, not even a little up and a few thousand both times. I self excluded after 2 sessions. Their support was shocking as you describe in a queue on line and then cut off. They are nasty takers. Well done for doing it. I wish there was something more we could do about these despicable casinos.

Jane
Reply

Yes, I’m not expecting much, but I felt much better for telling them the harm they caused me. I take responsibility for my gambling, and I know I messed up badly, but I sure as hell was assisted in doing so every step of the way.
I think these companies should meet us half way, and admit that they push their business down our throats day in and day out and then we can more easily accept that both parties should share responsibility. Them, for selling the product in the first place, (albeit mis-sold) and us for buying it.
There have been 5 casino ads out of 8 in the last few minutes on a nature channel. On the one hand they tell us to gamble responsibly (just out of some legal responsibility to do so), while on the other hand, repeatedly encouraging us to gamble and telling us and our kids how much fun it is.

When we were short of cash once, my son, who was only 11 at the time, said I could always gamble for the money. He didn’t know about my problem, I always protected the kids from gambling when they were younger, but he said that’s what people do on the telly; win money gambling. Kids take in so much. I know kids in the sixth form at my daughter’s school who are allowed in the bookies. No one ever asks them to leave. I read an article the other day about William Hill, they failed to boot out underage gamblers, allowing 25 out of 32 underage people to gamble.

Now that my kids are older, I decided it was a good idea to talk about this issue because it seems to be getting more coverage now and I think it is important to discuss things when they are at an age to be able to understand. The world is not always a nice place and sometimes people make bad choices. I feel I have to prepare them for some of the issues which they may come across in life and I am no longer ashamed of my gambling because I understand how easy it was to get caught up in it all. They were very understanding and said that people at the school were gambling too at just 16 and 17 years of age. She also said that one of her teachers gambles regularly and jokes with them about betting. It really is shocking.

Kate
Reply

It really is a scourge …and to think of a young generation growing up thinking gambling like this is normal, is really saddening. At least when I was younger , going into a betting shop was definitely something I wouldn’t do …apart from maybe the Grand National …it was only the arrival of online gambling that tipped me into my problem …… but to think that this is now readily available ……

Jane
Reply

It was one of those dreary, rainy days with not so much to do….The rain was coming down hard, and starting to turn to sleet. The last hour of daylight was fading when we decided to take the car out for a drive. I was not feeling inspired to get out and about among nature today and had spent much of the day curled up on the sofa next to a roaring fire.
We’d been driving for about half an hour when we drove through this sleepy shopping centre. There wasn’t a sign of life about, save for an old black dog that sat patiently outside a general store.
We pulled up at the lights and I turned to my left to see the local Coral. It was jammed with bodies, warmly lit and the windows were fogging up from the amount of people packed in to such a small place.
There was not a soul on the streets, it looked like the end of days, but alas! I had found humanity…or at least some remnant of it.
There they all were, huddled together around the screens of the local Coral, like the only remaining survivors of some untold apocalypse, waiting for news that it was safe to go outside again…..

Kate
Reply

Wonderful writing Jane – a post-apocalyptic vision, but no, it is actually our reality. In the 19th century the Opium wars were fought between China and England – to protect our interests in the opium trade – causing huge misery to the Chinese, meanwhile, opium dens and human degradation were rife in London and other cities – so I am afraid our government has a long history of supporting damaging and addictive trade if the revenues keep coming in. I haven’t been particularly politically motivated until Brexit – but now I feel the way that Boris Johnson and that ghastly Rees-Mogg knob are behaving is completely disgraceful ….whether you like Teresa May or not, the plotting and scheming of these over grown, self-satisfied public school boys puts everyone to shame. Today I am going to check out Corbin’s position on gambling and see whether they have a more moral approach. If so, maybe there is an opportunity to give voice ? Who knows?

Jane
Reply

Just sent an email of complaint to William Hill. Don’t know how much good it will do, but because you mentioned diaries, Kate, I had a look through mine and it reduced me to tears.
Such pain in every page. All self induced by gambling. Wished I had done that before the other Monday.
I noticed that I had paid particular attention to my time with William Hill because it had caused me a lot of distress. I am now happily half way through a five year exclusion….a time when most online casino’s believe you will be cured again! I never get why most sites won’t let you exclude for more than the 5 years. Oh wait….yeah…..ker-ching. That might be why.

Anyway, I could see that in my brief time with them, I had taken over 50 time-outs. I have all my emails saved that I sent them, regarding the blatant disclosure of my gambling problem, yet they failed to do anything to protect me. My gambling behavior should have been flagged up as irresponsible yet it never was. Not to them, anyway. But the banks certainly noticed and contacted me to ask if things were indeed OK.

It bothered me that I had obviously expressed concern over my gambling by email where I asked them to protect me from gambling and self exclude me because at the time, self exclusion could only be done by live chat and for whatever reason, I just could not get through to anyone. It just kept cycling me in the queue for ages and then would automatically disconnect me. I couldn’t ring up because my landline was down and I had no mobile phone credit. (for obvious reasons) All this time, I was scared to death of gambling again. I practically pleaded with them to self exclude me.
I wrote in my email that I spent nearly an hour once in a queue, waiting to get through to someone to ask for an exclusion, all the time, being bombarded by gambling stimulus, only to get cut off half way through.
I went on to lose a lot of money and I was always angry that they did not allow a simple tab to exclude on their website, quickly, easily and hassle free, and most importantly, before I changed my mind.

So, I just felt better today, getting that off my chest to them, and letting them know that they did not act in an appropriate or timely manner to help me, and ignored my email until it was too late and I had relapsed. Plenty of other websites have simple self exclude requests on the website, clearly advertised in the gambling control section. Select 1 to 5 years…..William Hill to this day, still only allows a time out or to close the account, which of course can just be reopened again, so that was pointless. I didn’t want to time out, I wanted it excluded so I felt safe, but in the meantime, I got weak and lost a lot of money because they took too long to respond.
Yes, I should have timed out until the exclusion was set up, but I thought that if I did, I would just let it expire and then never bother doing the exclusion, because that was always what happened with other sites. Self exclusion is best done quickly and instinctively usually after a heavy loss, while the addicted person feels strong and able to force a change. It is particularly important because of the risk of chasing losses which I obviously had plenty of. You should not have to hang around on live chat waiting to talk to someone, while gambling stimulus and imagery is battling for your attention alongside.
However, I still think that these companies do plenty to make it easy for you to gamble and lose money, but don’t do enough to keep you away and I wanted them to know that.
For whatever good it does, it did me good!

Monica
Reply

Some very insightful posts on the nature of the beast from Jane and Matt. Really messes with your head doesn’t it? No wonder I ended up half bonkers. I also relate to what Matt says. Like in Russia where the life expectancy for men is something like 45 because of alcoholism, this country has turned into some sick sodom and Gomorrah all encouraged by this government. Sick, sick. If I ever get recovery I will spend some time overseas. The U.K. is one very sick country. On line is banned in Canada. So sensible.

mat
Reply

Just talked to colleague at work and brought up gambling he told me he lost few days ago his whole savings of £7000 he was up thousands as everybody then he lost it all on roulette his numbers never came up, there is lots of people with problem gambling who never say anything its an epidemic here in the UK, people desperately trying to get rich and the opposite happens. Bookies and casinos know this that’s why they defend this evil machines so hard, its all one big scam no way these games are random like they claim, they give people few small wins and then its impossible to win anything, I played 5-10 numbers a spin and for 20+ spins I won nothing ball was landing right next door to my highest number I had money on that’s mathematically impossible what are the odds? and this happens most of time people chase blindly their losses and don’t even realise they have been conned, who is going to take these bookies and casinos to court? they do what they like things like gambling commission and gamcare are a joke they are owned by the same people who have the machines, look how there was supposed to be the end of consultation on 23rd of Jan and its the 2nd February and it went quiet, they will never restrict these fobts or online gambling it is their golden egg laying system to rob the working class of their money.

Jane
Reply

Kate, I too, kept diary entries as I wanted to be able to understand what led me to gamble and how I responded to winning/losing. One thing stood out more than anything. Every win, be it a lot in one go, or a patch of being ‘lucky’ set me up to lose many times what I had previously won. I would build up several thousand, just like Mat, over a few weeks. It would change my thought process, make me feel like it was always going to work out. I would gamble just a small bit, each day, trying to control it. I would come away quite happy having added another £50 to the pot. This would go on for about 6 or 8 weeks, then BOOM. Back down to earth. I would log on for my daily play, and it wouldn’t go my way. I would lose a hundred, two hundred, 500 hundred, and feel unable to stop until I threw the entire ‘pot’ away. This was a classic for me, and I think the winning makes you think it is always going to be the same, I would even think to myself, if this keeps up, I will be able to pay off my debt loads sooner!

All those little wins, over a couple of months made me a couple of grand, but because I kept winning, and wagering small amounts, I thought I had control. I thought I had found an angle, a way of making money by betting small and just once a day.
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Because control only works for compulsive gamblers when we are on the winning side. Once we start losing, even if we still have lots of the win left, we can’t take it. We just can’t walk away, so we lose the lot and then we lose our own money too, trying to get it back.
It just never works. It is so self defeating and you know even while you are winning, that you are going to lose it eventually. That’s what so upsetting about gambling. You can’t be happy either way, win or lose, it takes away so much. I am glad you are away from all of this, Kate. Just keep going now, let all those months behind you give you all the kick you need to keep going. Everyone gets bored sometimes, but at least you can be ‘just bored’ and not have all the other symptoms that go with gambling!
———-

Mat, I think you have reached your pain threshold. It’s when a gambler has thrown so much money into gambling and lost, that adding more to your losses seems less important because of your already heightened state of anxiety. This is an even more dangerous time to gamble as you are very likely to throw more and more money at gambling to get back what you have lost.

It’s dangerous because people in this state think only about the money they are trying to win back, not how much more they are throwing away, trying to do so.
It is worsened by the fact that you are now desentisised to pain and suffering because you have put yourself through that much already that you start to accept that this is the only way to feel.
We don’t register the harm in adding more to our sorrows because we already feel so bad. I think a few of us have crossed the line lately, it’s all gone a bit wrong, hasn’t it? Me, Mat, Loser, and Joanne, all throwing large sums of money at gambling, and admitting that we felt out of control. My last relapse was very impulsive, reckless and I couldn’t help but notice that the amount of money I was willing to risk to get back my losses was far more than I ever felt I would be able to wager.
I managed to shock myself, and that is saying something.
I feel this is the point that people should walk away because what we are recognising is the point where it goes from gambling, losing a bit and starting to count our days again, to losing a ton of money and not being able to accept it. It is a gambling binge and that is a very dangerous beast because we are not gambling to win a bit of cash anymore, having had a period of abstinence, we are gambling off the back of already being depressed at losing all our money. We gamble then with the sole intention of winning back losses, which puts us in a very vulnerable position indeed. Why? Because nothing short of the full amount will do. Which is why in the end, we all go home with nothing.

Kate
Reply

Yes, I had the same experience Jane, and it took me a long time to start to think that there was nothing random in these events ……I am convinced that the software for online gambling is so sophisticated and able to target individual behaviour, that once a player has been flagged as compulsive, or heading towards compulsive, the merry-go-round really starts – some big wins …throw the sucker a big bone …. ( I did have these – including big all singing, lights flashing multi-winning streaks) …… but then, lo and behold, the luck ‘turned’. Turned my big toe! I remember losing £5K in a very short space of time after a ‘winning streak’ – sounds familiar doesn’t it – if you have any dignity and self-respect left after this craziness, one day you realize that you have been truly played …. you have been set up … abused ….yes, because of a weakness, but it makes me well and truly sick to think that this is a legal activity ….full of people who hide behind the utterly dishonest line ” when the fun stops, stop” ….it’s only when the fun stops that these monsters start making their obscene amounts of money ! I make these comments about online gambling – FOBTs are supposed to not operate like this – that’s the fixed odds part – and it really would be illegal if they were rigged ….but who knows, people still destroy themselves trying to get the upper hand. So, I am 100% with you Jane in saying the only way to get the upper hand, and get your life back is to STOP

Jane
Reply

If you analyse the sentence, ‘WHEN THE FUN STOPS. STOP.’, we notice something quite remarkable in the line.
The most noticeable is not the word ‘FUN’ nor the word ‘STOP’, which most people focus on….but rather, the word that strikes me as ominous is the use of the word ‘WHEN’. Because yes, it is inevitable that the fun will eventually stop. The slogan is not saying it’s a case of ‘IF’ but ‘WHEN’. So it seems to me, that we are being told a little home truth there and we should sit up and take notice before we are forced to understand the devastating true meaning of it.
On another note….
Here’s a rather depressing fact to brighten your day…..
42 people own the same wealth as the bottom 3.7 billion people on the planet, while the richest 1% continue to own more wealth than the whole of the rest of humanity.
Utter madness.

Kate
Reply

I hadn’t noticed that before – yes, the slogan could have been IF the fun stops, but it isn’t …WHEN the fun stops is really sinister isn’t it – the inevitability that it will stop, by which time, it might be too late. Chilling . How are you doing today? How are you doing Mat too?

mat
Reply

Kate your luck didn’t change there is no luck involved its a machine or program designed to take everything you have with no chances of ever hitting it big to walk away, small wins or money back at best to keep us in the game longer till we lose control and lose it all. There is nobody that will examine the software in the machines, gambling commission and even gamcare is owned by the same people who put these machines on the street its a multi billion pound industry they have politicians in their pockets. ABB says bookmakers are the safest place to gamble in the UK, FOBT’s are random and are only for entertainment and other crap like that, what kind of entertainment is betting 50 or 100 a spin chasing losses and losing years of savings in minutes, why people commit suicides? I don’t think because of fun and entertainment.
At the moment there is no way that will work 100% to protect gambling addicts from these machines, there is no one that will stop you self exclusion won’t work because there is countless of bookies in every town and anybody can just walk in and put in thousands with no questions asked even criminals use fobts to launder money. To protect vulnerable people and addicts everybody should be required to have membership card on entrance but they won’t to that as addicts are the ones who bring the most money, and its all about making as much money in this world.
Best wishes.

Kate
Reply

Just got back from an annual health check – very pleased with blood pressure, (114/86) but weight up 6kg …… I did know about this, (well my clothes have told me) and now is the time to do some serious reducing. But it is almost a year ( 4th Feb) since I stopped smoking, and a weight gain like this is usual. 4th of April will be my anniversary of quitting gambling. I’ve been reviewing my smoking and gambling diary ( I made notes every day for about 18months when I was trying to quit both addictions). I don’t feel the need to make entries now, but I look back and feel my own hope, frustration, and pain – the trying, the relapsing, the frantic shifting money around to try and cover my debts ….really sad. I also wrote down what I thought was triggering the lapses – and this helped me understand my patterns/triggers. I NEVER came out on top – after a binge I was always down because once I started , a big win turned into a big loss. I couldn’t stop …and this is the problem ….. I really think everyone who thinks they’ve come out on top with a win, in just setting themselves up for a loss – all I do notice now are the notes in red that say things like £ 3,000 down ….. played from 6pm to 1am ….. £1800 down ……. I could never quit whilst I was ahead. But it took many goes to get to the point where this penny finally dropped. An addicted gambler always loses in the long run, because we just can’t leave it alone.

I’m now in a safer position really, because I don’t have any money! It would be insane for me to gamble at this point – I’ve virtually retired ….and this is the big and painful lesson for me …at some level, I needed to take myself to the brink in order to wake up. I still miss the buzz, the highs and lows, the ‘fun’ ….I do feel really bored sometimes …. I know I could be doing busy and useful things, but I slump in front of the telly, or have a nap ….I miss the adrenaline/dopamine fix of gambling ….but it is just too high a price to pay.

Jane
Reply

The winning figures are not bothering me for reasons you may think, Loser. I’m not stupid enough to think that I can win my money back, and if I did win it back, I’d still be down tens of thousands. Do you think if I were to gamble again, and win, that I would accept just my recent loss back? What about the rest? If I tried to win my money back, it would invite me to keep going, and trying to win back the rest and I would end up with nothing. All it would equal is suffering, because there is no way that I can win that sort of money back, without risking everything to do so.
A win means the same as a loss. It just means more gambling and that is what bothers me. Nobody is winning anything. I both won and lost money last year on relapse, but was still able to go 5 months without gambling again each time. I probably saved more money by myself, than what people won, just because I didn’t gamble. Why? Because every time they win, they lose it again, whereas I just kept what I had.

You had wins, too, Loser and it sent you off on a horrible patch of losing and visiting the casino far more than you usually might. It also led to you looking to recoup those losses by investing on the market, which has also had the effect of costing you money.
Wins are evil. Ignore them and don’t think you can do the same. They mean nothing. Large wins often only represent the amount a person has risked in the first place, or the amount a person has already ‘invested’ in gambling. It may give people a rush to think they could win that much, but really, it only represents how much money Joanne has actually spent on gambling. Her win is proportionate to her overall loss, at a rate of about 92%. If a person spends a hundred grand gambling, it is likely they will ‘win’ 8 grand. Now, you tell me what kind of reason is that to declare it a ‘win’, yet people are still using the word ‘profit’!!
Wake up everyone!!!

We celebrate achievement and abstinence on here, not suffering and wins are just a ticket to more suffering. There is not enough abstinence on this site and that is what bothers me. It’s okay to relapse, but please let’s actually go more than a few hours in between. Otherwise, it’s just extended relapse, it’s not really stopping.
Joanne is not winning anything and I hate that she now has a ticket to gamble and feel down at losing it again. She is thousands down because of gambling. We all are. Looking at it any other way is just detrimental to our recovery as gambling addicts.
New month today. Come on, let’s get committed to giving up gambling again.

LOSER
Reply

My Dear wife Joanne,

So you have finally decided to abandon me lol if it means you will live a rich. fullfilling life gamble free then I am happy! I really feel you have crossed a line that if you don’t act now your on the path to losing everything! I know because I have crossed it too recently and I am trying to pull myself back ever since! Having a win and getting your money back is great but it also reinforced that gambling is great too and easy bucks can be made so hold that money tight and lock it up for 6 months or so! Find activities that will replace the time you spent gambling! This is going to be hard and tough and you will have many urges and obstacles ahead and voices demanding you gamble so it’s time to look after yourself Joanne, you are a women that deserves to be happy too with a gamble free life! Get your social network going it’s the only way for recovery for you. As for Thailand I have been there got very sick too whilst there are lot’s of great things to see and do, Thailand is not really my place I prefer Europe and no, cheap hooker’s are not my style. Whenever you want to pop in and say hello I will be here probably posting about my most recent relapse hahahah
i will think of you often and pray you are smiling and happy ( but not in’front of a machine either)

Take care and it was nice bing your online husband for a year or so hahahah

P.S Carl it appears you have re- appeared? Maybe you should give Joanne the benefit of the doubt she has made progress and changes. You Carl abandoned ship and hid in the lurches obviously not contributing then pop out of no where disgruntled at things that occurred in the past?

Jane I get the feeling the “winning” figures are bothering you” just ignore them and keep on your mission, it’s mission impossible but let’s try and make it Mission Possible!

Mat great to hear your moving you have been saying it for a year or so now, start fresh in a place with no venue’s and where ever you go self exclude from all venues first!

I think I am on Day 4?

Jane
Reply

Day 9. Let’s get back to counting our days not our losses.

Jane
Reply

Where’s everyone getting all this money from??? We supposed to have restrictions in place. I only had half of what I lost in the bank and the rest I had to put back in with cash advances from my credit cards. If you guys have this much cash lying around, then you have no need to be gambling at all. Let go of your losses and be glad you have security and money in the bank. It won’t be that way for long if you don’t start taking this seriously.
Talk of winning, talk of losing. Can’t you see it’s all the same thing. This is one big, pointless merry go round. One day it’s my money, then it’s someone else’s….. We are torturing ourselves to hold onto something that is not destined to be ours.
What is destined to be ours is a future filled with pain and suffering if we don’t let go of gambling.
The bookies aren’t losing any money at all. But we are. That should tell you something. Anything we win is someone else’s loss. That’s a fact. Every time we lose, someone else wins. Its’ just passed around from one to another and doesn’t even stay long enough to warm our pockets. So what’s the point?
Ask yourself have you actually ever won anything? Are you in profit in the long run? Are you happy when you win money, when if you did not gamble, it would already be guaranteed to be yours? Instead of having our own hard earned money in the bank, we have to grovel to these rich industries and risk more cash to try to get back what we already had. It is torture, but we call it fun?
If our lives where a business, it would have been shut down by now. We make no profits. We are unreliable. Unpredictable. A risk.
We are worse off for gambling, it contributes nothing positive to our lives, yet we continue to be drawn to it. How far does this have to go before we end up on the streets?
We all think that will never happen to us but it most certainly can. We have got to take this more seriously.
If I were still gullible, I’d be looking at recent wins and thinking, yeah, if they can do it, I can win back my losses too. But I’m past that. A win hangs over your head like a guillotine. Don’t you see, that’s why you can never be happy while you are still gambling. All the time you are gambling, you have your head on that block, and it is only a matter of time before that blade drops the second you fool yourself into thinking you have control.
The money will be gone, and all winning will do is tie yourself to a future of gambling. I was plagued by ideas to win the money back, but what the hell for, so I have to go through all this pain again when I lose it later on?
If I don’t win it back, I don’t have to worry about losing it again. Instead I can focus on my recovery away from gambling.
Stop putting yourselves in this position. Take it seriously. Start counting your days. Relapse is one thing, but get some time built up in between. Get restrictions in place. Get support. Do something, anything, but please everyone, stop gambling.

mat
Reply

Jane we know that and we all have fallen for it, the worst thing that happen is when we win, I won on the 8th January then for the next few day I accumulated £3500 up and down messing with my serotonin levels adrenaline I became weak and lost control now I lost £5000 with £1500 being whole months wages.
This has to stop now I am a wreck from all the stress.
Now I am having the hardest time since 2016, this is the end I am putting gambling behind. I have to let this losses go as there is no way of getting it back it will soon be 10 years that I suffered it messed up my education and life I lost around £50.000 I estimate, it will never be won back on that machine, any wins they give is just to prolong the suffering. Deep inside I knew it would end like this no win could ever be kept in the past 10 years of gambling.

Jane
Reply

I know you know this, Mat. I have fallen for it too in the past, but enough is enough. It sucks like crazy to know the money is gone, and I wanted it back badly too. But honestly, now that I feel better again, I’d rather just forget it and move on, rather than risk it and lose more, or worse, win it back, only to feel the same shitty way again further down the line when I lose it again. Like you, I have managed to keep nothing out of all the wins I have had. It always ends the same way. If I have a patch of winning, I still feel ill and unsettled and gambling is all I can think about then. Gambling doesn’t make me feel good either way.
When you lose, you think about winning it back, but if you give it long enough, you can feel okay again and decide it’s better to just know where you stand. Then you can let it be and start counting your days again.

I can’t take it anymore. I’d rather have the little bit I have now, than go through it all again. I felt like ending it all, the other week. I really did. I couldn’t care less about the money, personally, and that is a problem in itself, but I care very much that I let my family down. I need to learn respect for money and take care of what I have for the safety and security of my family. I need to learn the value of money again because if I can bet over a thousand pounds in one spin, then I have clearly lost all sense of reality and it is time to walk away before this ruins me altogether.
That’s it for me, now. If I can scratch up my relapse as yet another loss and walk away then it will be my last. If I don’t then it’s only a matter of time and we will all end up breaking this site with all our relapse posts.
Do you really want to post here forever, Mat? I know I don’t. It’s about 50 grand for me too, now. Like Nik says the only way you are ever going to get that kind of money back is if you risk life changing sums of money in order to do so. That will wind us up on the streets, or worse, dead. It’s time to realise that the money is gone, leave it in the past because that way, we will never lose again, and we have the rest of our lives ahead of us to figure out a better way to spend our God-given time.
Take care. x

mat
Reply

lost 2000 this morning that’s it I am getting out of this country for good this going to book plane ticket now I cant sleep I cant rest all I do is stress why did this happen to me this is the worst life ever if I stay here I will be either dead or in mental institute.

Add your comment below:

Descargar musica