Comments

Joanne
Reply

Well I didn’t think I’d be back here so soon! Can’t even be trusted to take a tablet into work to post a message on here. After I posted yesterday afternoon I went on my favourite on-line casino. (I work for a small company, I’m the only office worker so I pretty much get to do as I please) I deposited £1400 (got paid last Friday) won £4,500 (profit), so withdrew £5,900. (Cashino – 88 fortunes game and the game with the genie) This has helped soften the blow of losing 6,000 pounds two weeks ago. I have placed a time-out on my account so I can’t go back and lose it. Hopefully the money will be paid into my bank account by Saturday which means I will have around 7500 in my current account which is a great relief! I really have beat myself up for losing that 6 grand 2 weeks ago! I saved the money by not gambling for around 85 days towards the end of last year, doing some over-time and for not spending too much at Christmas. So losing it really pi**ed me off! Maybe I should treat LOser to a trip to Thailand ! Hahaha Although he’s probably out wining and dining his favourite girls back home. He’s a popular little devil! lol

Anyway I can’t be trusted to be in possession of a laptop, tablet ,whatever so as soon as I post this I am going to dispose of the tablet. It’s only a cheap thing so may as well bin it.

I doubt I will be back on Rethink for a very long time , if ever, (some of you may be pleased to hear that , lol) so I wish you all well on your continuing journey towards being gamble-free!

Joanne

I’m an on-line gambling addict and I cannot have access to the internet. I never thought I’d hear myself saying that. The 18th March, 2014 will forever be etched on my mind, the day I discovered on-line gambling.

LOSER, it’s been an absolute joy knowing you, every time I feel a little down I think of some of the funny things that you have said to me and it makes me smile! xxxxxxxxxx

Carl
Reply

Probably hear from you in the next day or two Joanne lol

Jane
Reply

Joanne, I’m glad you got something back but you are going to really have to work at keeping it. Try not to look at it as ‘profit’ but instead, remind yourself how much you are still down because of gambling. That way, you can appreciate the money more, and might be able to see it as a lucky swerve and learn from it in the future. Get those restrictions in place Joanne.
Take good care of yourself. x

Jane
Reply

Hope you feel better soon, too Joanne. Took the wind out of my sails a bit, but I guess you know exactly how that feels with what happened to you. It’s amazing that we still think about gambling isn’t it? I was repulsed at the idea of betting after what happened, then after a week, I felt better and was plagued with urges to win back my losses. If I hadn’t of been so arrogant, I could have cut that loss in half, but I wouldn’t accept it. I wanted it all back, not half, so I went away empty handed.
Don’t isolate yourself with your internet slashing. I know you want to protect yourself from gambling, but you still need to talk sometimes. I don’t know about you, but I am a bit hard pressed to find people to talk to in the real world about this stuff. I have to just smile over a coffee and talk about happy things. No one wants people bringing them down with this sort of thing, do they?
If I had no internet, I would be saved from gambling, but then I wouldn’t be able to do all the things I love to do online….(no, not that, I gave that up years ago) I’m talking about all the interests that I follow, my music especially and my studies. Plus, it’s not just me in the house and my family would never cope without it.

Andy
Reply

Jane, what did you used to do online? i’m intrigued…Is it what i’m thinking???

Jane
Reply

Nah! I’m just jesting to lighten the mood. :) Though I hear it pays well!
Just cut up the last of my credit cards. Felt really good. I still owe on them, but I can’t use them to spend anymore, so when they’re paid off, that’s it. Job done.
Got to leave myself nowhere to hide with this gambling. I promised myself I would be debt free for 2020 and despite this last relapse, I can still achieve that. Come May, I will back to where I was before the relapse, so it’s not absolutely ruined. Just a set back. I have to be positive, otherwise I would just sit with my head in my hands, but it just aint my style to give up.
If I have access to money, I will use it when I am weak. So no access, means no gambling. I don’t know why I didn’t do it sooner. I think part of me still wanted back up in case I felt like gambling, but I guess it takes a wake up call to make you realise you need to be doing far more.
How’s it going for you, Andy? Still keeping a level of control? Be careful, though because I did that too, and it was fine for a while, then I blew a ton all in one go because the small bets gave me the illusion of control which clearly I did not have.
Stay safe. x

Andy
Reply

Jane if you got it, flaunt it! lol. Yeah i’m still doing small bets every now and then, controlled, but I know it could go wrong any minute so I must be careful, maybe I should just pack it all in…haven’t played on the FOBT’s since september 8th so that’s something to celebrate.
Glad you’ve cut up your cards, put all blocks in place, do you really want to feel like you did last week ever again?

Kate
Reply

HI Andy/Jane …. I assumed you meant you were researching your ancestors or something like that ….. although a little bit of me thought you might be utilizing your basement as a dungeon? Either way, this exchange is making me chuckle, so that can’t be such a bad thing. An out of control dog has just snatched my new furry hat and run off with it, whilst its owner just laughed ….so I came back from an otherwise uplifting walk in a bad mood! But not now
All the best all

Jane
Reply

Kate, that’s funny. A dog ran off with your hat! I hope it’s okay and not chewed badly or if you got it back at all??? When we were living in Ireland, we had clothes pinched off our washing line. A very strange selection of items were taken…..my Snoopy pyjamas, my dad’s cord trousers, a pair of boot socks and my mum’s kitchen curtains! They left all the good stuff so I don’t know what was going on there! Mum moaned that they ought to have took Dad’s hideous shirt instead! Dad blamed the gypsies up the road because earlier that day he said they looked ‘shifty’.
We spent the next few days looking out for oddly dressed gypsies. I told Mum and dad that if they did take the stuff, then they’d probably be round in a few days, trying to sell it us back!

Kate
Reply

In fairness the dog, it did look like a baby rabbit sticking out of my pocket! It is cream and fluffy …and yes, I got it back after about 10 mins …it is now very muddy but not chewed up ….. it’s not real fur, so I will try washing it!

loser
Reply

Hi Joanne,

I am always here in, out and about so don’t worry if your not online everyday! The best thing you ever did was cutting those umbilical cords from your computer to telephone line. I still think you need to put other measure’s in place like get rid of your cards and cash so you don’t go buying scratchies. I cannot believe the phone company won’t let you out earlier? Here they do if you paid in advance. Another option is to leave the tablet at work so your not tempted to use it for gambling on the weekend. You also need to now do something in this “spare time” you have when coming home. Possibly bubble baths, join a gym, join a sporting club like tennis or see movies etc.
Great move I am very happy for you and remember urges will drive you crazy but they are a detox we all need go through to shake this addiction off.

GOODLUCK BABE! XOXO

Joanne
Reply

Hi guys,

I’ve been reading back (really quickly) so apologies if I’ve missed anything or anyone . I’m really sorry to read Jane that you’ve had a relapse, chin up girl, you can get back on track. As always , you and Kate are giving everyone great support. Really sorry Matt to read that you’re struggling and feeling low. I feel your pain. We must never underestimate how devastating this addiction can be, it shows us no mercy, we have to muster the strength to keep fighting. However, great to see everyone supporting each other and still managing to have a laugh.

Well done to the others (Duncan, Kate, NIK and Andy) who are doing well, delighted for you.

Anyway , I don’t have access to internet at home (cut the cable from my telephone to the modem) until my internet provider officially disconnects me on the 18th Feb.

I will take my tablet to work or to an internet café every now and again so I can see how you’re all doing and put up a post. I’m actually having thoughts about my favourite slot games right now. I need my head testing. I just can’t risk carrying my tablet around with me all the time, I just can’t trust myself. If it gets to the stage where I start gambling again I will have to get rid of the tablet.

So until next time keep supporting each other, all the very best everyone, Joanne

p.s. I’ll just leave LOSER a few xxxxxxxx

mat
Reply

Hi all yesterday was very tough on my way to work I went to play and lost £300 withdrew my max then went back to get more money lost 1000 did not manage to go to work, that’s what bookies do f… things up they should not be on the high street in such numbers only regulated casinos should be the way with membership cards and face recognition system like in the gyms here in UK, I see people everyday go on their lunch break or right after work still in their uniform and lose months wages this f….. evil system allows this to happen.
Had a headache and slept for 12 hours not going to work today as well I feel exhausted after yesterday I feel like a have a hangover without drinking. Why is medicine so highly regulated and antibiotics prescription only but the gambling companies do what they like destroying peoples lives, why is nothing being done about it, just bogus consultations and reviews ever being postponed with no straight answer from the prime minister this been going on for years, crime and suicides, thousands of stories not good enough evidence?

Jane
Reply

Joanne, It seems we have been trying to outdo each other with our gambling stakes. I too, was ashamed to have lost such a large amount of money. £3085. It makes me feel sick still when I think about it. I did not think I was capable of blowing that much cash. It caused me to take some serious steps to protect myself.
So you actually did disconnect from the internet? That’s funny. I was only jesting about that!
I can see that the loss scared you into taking some serious action. Me too. I now have to ask for money off my partner when I need it. That is a sorry state of affairs and is no good for my shoe collection either!
Now, ebay will go bankrupt without me. They used to be my two favourite things to do, (besides eating). I always loved shopping and gambling. Now I can do neither. I may take up knitting with Kate.
Feeling relatively okay but still in shock from my loss. I really hope you can get past your relapse and move forward again.
Now, that you’ve caught up on Rethink, you can get out of the store cupboard and get back to work!
:)

Joanne
Reply

Hi LOSER,

I haven’t read back fully yet but I can see from your recent posts that you’ve been having a hard time staying away from that casino and I’m really sorry to hear that. I wish I could burn that bloody casino down for you! Sending you a big hug.

As for me where do I begin ………. Two weeks ago I was in a bad place having lost 6000 pounds the weekend before to the pokies. (yep, 6 grand).

I was at my wits end so I decided that the only way forward for me was to disconnect from the internet. I spoke with my internet provider and have cancelled my home internet. Unfortunately I had just paid for a month’s internet in advance so he informed me that I would disconnect on the 18th Feb. I was so desperate not to gamble that I cut the cable on my tablet that I take to work as soon as I came off the phone and when I went home that evening I cut the cable that connects the telephone to my laptop so I could not access the internet. I knew I was out of control , as you said on new territory , desperate times needed desperate action! So I have been without internet for the past 2 weeks. I don’t use the computers at work for personal use.

It’s been a mixed blessing having no internet. On one hand I’ve been gamble-free but on the other hand I’ve had more time to think without the distraction of the internet and it’s been absolute torture facing up to how much time and money I’ve wasted gambling these past four years.

I’ve missed you and your great sense of humour. (damn it ,I even missed out on a spanking! lol lol). I’ve lost around 6 pounds in weight, I’ve felt so low. (only need to lose 1 pound more, I’ve gained 7 pounds since I took up gambling) .

Anyway I think it best that I stick with the plan and stay disconnected from the internet at home. However I’ve managed to replace the cable that charges my tablet so every now and again I will take the tablet to work or an internet café and try and post to you. I can’t even trust myself to take the tablet every day. I know you suggested I go to my local library but my boss’s wife works there and I don’t want her spying on me! hahahahaha

I’ve really missed you sweetheart , take care for now. I’ll read back and see how the others have been doing , really missed hearing everyone’s news. I’ll write some more later, really have to go.

In the meantime , all the very best everyone, Joanne

loser
Reply

Well said Mat, we really do have a lot in common with our views and thought’s on life. Mat time to protect yourself and your hard earned cash and lock it away for good! JUST DO IT! Let’s start to get on track and shake this devil off our backs! Make changes to your life, currently I have organised a few more outing’s with friends to keep me busy and occupied, I am waiting for my stocks to go up and then will sell and lock a huge portion of that money up for 6 months – 1 year!
Shortly I will be cutting up all my cards and when needing cash go to the bank and any bills pay them through direct debit.
Every relapse means you need to change something, whether it be your attitude, behaviour, friends, job etc Make changes to prevent another relapse. I will even consider going back into counselling if I cannot see improvement in 6 months.
Mat with the money you have lost you could have gone on a holiday, maybe book a cheap holiday to Thailand or somewhere, just make sure she is female hahahaaahahahah

loser
Reply

To Concerned Bookie,

Most player’s gamble responsibly? I guess because you only meet the one’s who still have money left right? Because the one’s who have lost it all probably suicide and you don’t see them again. Your a disgrace and to come here and even comment astounds me. No one forces us to play? Are you kidding? How about the countless advertising on gambling about how much fun it is, or the endless bills for some people they are forced to gamble to pay them? Addiction is the greatest force of all, when it takes over your mind your body is no longer in control and you find yourself in a venue or casino losing your money again.
I have no more words for cold hearted wanker’s like you.

Concerned bookie
Reply

It’s you’re. You’re welcome

LOSER
Reply

Hi Joanne,
And there I thought you divorced me! Even searched for you on Gamcare the other night but nope you haven’t been on their since December.
Looking forward to hearing what mischief you have been up to, hopefully not over working that finger. (Pushing buttons that is lol) So what have you been up to? I relapsed but by the time you read this you would have known that, I am not even bothering to count day’s but have pledged I won’t gamble for about a month!
So do tell why have you been missing in action?
Let me guess……

1. You found a man?
2. You have been in the city living it up?
3. You bought countless scratches and have been too busy to come online?
4. You disconnected the internet?
5. You have alzheimer’s and forgot how to turn the computer on?
6. Simon asked you out on a date you refused and he booted you off the site?
6. Jane kidnapped you?

hahahaahahh

Looking forward to hearing from you wifey! lol

Jane
Reply

Ha ha, no Loser, I did not kidnap Joanne. I’ve no room for anyone else in my basement.

Kate
Reply

Who have you already got down in your basement Jane?

Jane
Reply

Elvis and MJ. We regularly jam together.

Kate
Reply

Excellent ! Bet you make a wonderful trio!

Joanne
Reply

GOOD EVENING SEXY LOSER

Guess who?

I’m Scottish

I’m a gambling addict (in recovery)

Some might say I’m psychotic

and I’ve been missing you like crazy! lol

I’ll write longer later in my lunch break. (once I’ve read back and caught up)

Joanne x

Jeffrey
Reply

Sad.

Jane
Reply

Mat, the trouble is we are asking ourselves to control something that is controlling in itself. We can put barriers in place, yes, but we are also very good at getting around them. I’ve lied and stole to gamble. My behavior was borderline criminal at times. I still ignore the door when people visit because I feel so low sometimes, I don’t want to talk and pretend to be okay. My parents were knocking on the door while I was betting last week. I could hear them talking outside and I was losing so badly, I didn’t want to move from the laptop. I feel so dysfunctional with it but I am determined for it not to break me. I was angry and in my head, I blamed their visit for my loss because they disturbed me.
Yes, you can still take money out the bank or happen to have some on you, but if you separate money in the Halifax account, then it might save you from those times when you are impulsive and don’t leave the house, intending to bet.
There are always times when we are determined to gamble, but there are also times when we just happen to have access to money or our card and we are stupid enough to think ‘why not’?
Sign up to online banking if not already, Mat. Take up the online saver offer on the Halifax for a deposit of just £1. It’s all done online and very quick. Separate your hard earned savings from the money you just leave in your usual account so that if you do happen to have your card on you, only the money you have left in that part will be accessible. It is not foolproof, no, but for moments of weakness, it might help you hold on to something. Then when you build some money up, put it in a proper savings account where you cannot access it unless you ring up the bank and ask for it.
The thing with money is it’s yours, so it’s always available if you ask for it unless you literally tie it up in other ways. Have you thought about Post Office bonds, Mat? You can lock up your money for a fixed term, get a good rate of interest and it’s easy too. The money is taken from your bank account and is secure for the term you agree to. It’s what I am going to do when I build up money again so that this shite never happens to me again. Take care, Mat.
http://www.postoffice.co.uk/savings-accounts/online-bonds

Concerned bookie
Reply

No one is forcing anyone to play on the FOBTs. I realise they can be addictive but hundreds of my punters play responsibly! It really isn’t that difficult. £2 a spin would be disastrous for the racing industry as a whole. Online gambling is much worse in my opinion.

Jane
Reply

The races did fine before the machines were in our high street. Every thing these machines make is profit, so a loss is still a profit. Gambling is too easy across all forms and if it were gone, we would not miss it. We do it because it is there. It adds nothing to our lives or our communities. It feeds off misery and low self esteem.
Bookies had their chance to clamp down on the machines. They did nothing, so now they are being told to act. I doubt very much that any of them will go hungry.
You think it is easy to control addiction? I lost 3 grand last week. That should keep them fed for a while. I would like to see the one for all self exclusion tool up and running, to protect online gamblers across all sites, and those machines out of our communities or restrictions put in place to enable people to use them within their limits. Drop the word ‘play’. Drop the word ‘fun’. Neither have a place in gambling. It’s not a game, it’s real life and it gets serious very quick.
You say it’s not difficult to gamble responsibly? Well it’s also not difficult to keep someone who is self excluded from walking in and losing their rent but it happens every day. I can’t imagine why.

Jane
Reply

Instead of allowing an all access policy to betting shops, where people can just walk in, everyone has to sign up to be able to bet. They get a member card and it has to be scanned on the machines to place a bet. The machines starts out by asking a person to scan their card to begin. If a player wants to self exclude, they take their member card to the counter and the block is added to the card and shows up on the system if they try to bet. It would also have their name and address on and the card they pay with must match these details as well. This will cut down on people using other peoples cards and joint accounts to gamble with.
They can’t just walk up and get another card to circumvent the exclusion, because they have to provide ID in the first place and it would show on the system that they already have a card and that they are excluded. Reports suggest that 2 in 10 people are underage gamblers. The new card I have suggested would stop this from happening and can be taken out for each shop they visit. No card? No gambling.
Something can be done to help people help themselves. It’s a duty of care.

Concerned bookie
Reply

That’s a great idea Jane

mat
Reply

You nothing but a thieving scumbag, how do you know majority plays FOBT’s without problems so full of shit when I walk in the bookies I see different thing people quickly increase stakes and chase losing entire wages, savings and businesses. You prey on people with addiction and want to suck as much money as possible the games are rigged to max no chance of winning up to £100 a spin and only £500 maximum win no chance of ever getting the losses back, all bookies in poorest areas targeting young people, bookies are legalised theft politicians been bribed to allow this madness, other countries would never allow this to happen. F… you and your horse racing exploiting poor animals for profit they should kick you in the bollocks and not do another race. Bookies bring nothing except poverty, crime and suicides, you are blinded by money evil man remember you can’t take it with you when you die and aswer before God.

Concerned bookie
Reply

Hello Mat

Monica
Reply

Hi all
Jane, thanks for thinking of me and so sorry to hear of your relapse. It is almost six months now. I have gone through a dry spell with posting. Last week I did the Gordon Moody programme in rural Hereford. It was a very good programme, 4 days followed by 6 weekly counselling sessions (mine is on phone) followed by three days residential and then a further six weeks counselling. Venue lovely, used for yoga breaks, so it was like going to a retreat you would pay a lot of money for. Great vege food. Would recommend and so different to the sackcloth and ashes GA approach. Women need something different. I was unfortunately unwell on the way there and on the last day but I hope to find out what the problem is soon. I am not concerned about relapses but how to get my life back which nearly six months on have not been able to do. The financial pressures caused me both physical and mental health problems and the last thing I would want to do is gamble.

Jane
Reply

Monica, good to hear you enjoyed the program. I’m really pleased you felt able to attend. I’m sorry that you were not feeling well too. You may be suffering from anxiety because it was such a big step you took going to the program and facing up to what has happened. It’s hardly surprising you were unwell.

Yes, I relapsed last Monday. I feel okay now and able to move forward but I did go on a bit of a bender after going so long without gambling. Still, we live and learn. I have taken more steps to protect myself now and I am determined to pick myself up and try again.
Don’t force the issue with trying to feel back to normal, Monica. It will take time. You have gone through tremendous upheaval in your life, and it has caused physical and mental effects that will take time to heal.
Just focus on how you feel from one day to the next and know that the worst is behind you. We are also all behind you. ….starting to sound like a pantomime in here! :)
Hope you have a lovely evening and stay well, Monica. It was lovely to hear from you again.

Jane
Reply

Mat, I’m so sorry you are struggling like this. I too, am having obvious urges to win back losses. I knew I would be, so I took steps to prevent myself from accessing money. I had to ask my partner for money for food shopping today. It felt demoralising but is a necessary step on my road to recovery.
I’ve been doing the imaginary bets again. It’s a natural occurrence after we lose money. You woke up having had dreams about gambling, and I have placed imaginary bets throughout the whole day. It matters more what you do about these thoughts, Mat.

What barriers do you have in place? What is there from stopping you from emptying your account every week? Are you carrying your cards or cash with you to work and stopping by on the way home? Have you tried reducing your daily withdrawal limit on your card. Most banks offer this service and you can cap it at anything from £50 to £500 a day. Obviously, you can still use your card to gamble directly in the machines, but not if you leave it at home. To be able to lose a grand like that, you must have either money on you or you are carrying your card. I doubt you are carrying around cash, so leave the card at home, Mat.

Try going with Halifax bank, or any other bank that offers an account transfer service online. You can separate cash in different sections, it’s all with the same bank, and you log in with just one set of details, but the money you separate has a different account number. When you bank online, you can allocate payments to another section, and name it something like ‘new car fund’ or holiday money. You can move the money back and forth easily, whenever you want, there are no restrictions, but whatever you keep in the savings part, won’t be available for withdrawal at the machine, nor on your debit card. It shows up as a separate balance. It could save you from a lot of heartache. The difference is you cannot access it at the cash machine or with a card, you can only do this if you move it back to your main account online. It’s up to you to leave it there, but it could really help you if you are weak and have your card on you because you can’t access the amount you transferred to the other account.

I know there are a lot of bookies in your area, mat, as there are mine, but maybe you can change your route to work or when you are out. We have both gambled to try to get cash, but if we never gamble again, we’ll have so much more money in our pockets that we will be able to see the difference that not gambling makes. The problem is that you are not going long enough to see how this feels. This is a bad run of losses for you and I know it hurts, it is hurting me too, but you can’t ever win, Mat. It’s torture to keep doing this to yourself. Don’t ever think you are not worthy of life. You are a good and decent guy with a big heart and you have helped me and so many others through this addiction. It is the gambling industry that shouldn’t exist, we are just caught up in something bad right now and we need to let it go if we are going to be happy. Work on getting those barriers back in place.
Wish you well. x

mat
Reply

Thanks for your comment Jane, had a really tough day and I gambled lost 1000 then I won it back after I made the comment I went out and played again. I have a big headache right now of all the stress today, I am with Halifax already, I have some barriers in place but lets be honest it cant stop you from gambling as you can take it out of the bank in person or you have cash for rent or other things.
Avoiding bookies will be impossible as they are everywhere in every town I have been to in the UK you cant walk 10 minutes without seeing one, self exclusion won’t work, friend of mine smashed up machines and they let him back in next day, its all one big con, we are good people that just got caught at the wrong place and time, we can still try to stop but its a difficult journey, maybe the government will get tough on those fobt machines and online gambling to help us, imagine if the slots were max 50p or a £1 like they should be we wouldn’t even be on this site, its the high stakes that destroy us, with even £20 or £30 spins it gets out of control quickly and we cant afford to play like that next thing you are grand or two down that causes high stress and problems.

mat
Reply

Just lost another 1000 barriers not working I am sick been having trouble with urges like never before I want to die I am unworthy of life I cant control myself made a post earlier and I just cant seem to shake this addiction off I don’t know what to do

mat
Reply

Day 6, had gambling dreams and that bad feeling when I woke up, that addiction is like a parasite in the brain, I avoid going to town now just sitting at home later going to work. Wish you all well.

Jane
Reply

My partner took my son to school today in the car because he won’t walk on his own any more, and my daughter is unwell today with a bad cold. When he came back, he said there was another kid on the pavement with a blanket over them, and it’s all over my daughter’s social media that another child has been knocked down by a car from a primary school this time, just a few yards from where my daughter got hit.
Hopefully now, they will really get this road sorted because it is an obvious problem with a lack of places to cross.
Anyway, have a good day everyone. I’ve got to go parcel up my ebay sales. There’s bits of me all over the world since I started gambling. Half my stuff is in the States! Huh, wish I was there instead!
Sad but feel better for trying to make amends in whatever way I can. I can’t just be seen to do nothing about it even though my partner says to take my stuff off sale. I need to feel like I am taking responsibility for my actions. It’s part of the healing process for me. Monica, you’ve gone quiet? Hope you are well and that the meetings went ok?

Jane
Reply

Sounds like good advice to me, Nik. I hope the book sales pick up for you. Point number 2 rings a bell with me.
One of the things that always tormented me with gambling is winning. I would always win when I played cautiously, whenever I put on a small stake. It would always irritate me because I would get to thinking what that could have been if only I had been ‘braver’. I used to think that I could have paid a big chunk off my debt if only I had put more on, knowing afterwards that my bet had won. But then I started thinking, have I won because I didn’t put a lot on and if I did, would I still have won??
I found that little stakes always meant frequent wins when I was gambling. Whenever I bet big, I would never win. It started to make feel as if the system knew somehow, that you had a lot at stake and avoided your picks. It happened far too often. Several small bets hitting one after the other, then you increase the stake because you are winning, and guess what, no more wins.
This was always a classic on the roulette. It always caused me to lose in the end, because the frequent low value wins suckered me into betting more money, but once I did, I suddenly stopped winning!
I’m sure as well that the system can read your stakes and the way you are playing. It knows the pattern of a compulsive gambler….the dramatic increase in deposits and amounts, as the chasing kicks in. It knows you won’t stop, so it plays you and we all play along, too arrogant, too upset to walk away.
I think as well that when we use gambling controls on our account, the system knows this and knows the type of gambler we are. I had this out with BET365 once on Live Chat whilst asking for my self exclusion. I was going through a particularly bad patch when I was playing with them, and literally timed out after each session. I was trying to maintain control, but failing badly, not wanting to go long without playing but not wanting to lose the previous day’s win. I’m talking taking a time out for a day and then playing again, then another time out for a day….that sort of thing. It was obvious that I was having problems with gambling, because of the way I was playing and she said to me that you may as well self exclude because you have taken a lot of time outs, and I said to her if they know this, why do they allow me to continue to play with what is obviously a gambling problem? I had Paddy Power shut my account because of this. They told me that I had been flagged up because it was obvious that I was struggling with a gambling problem and I didn’t even have to ask.
I logged in one day to play and the message came up that my account was locked and to contact customer support and that is what I was told. That it was closed out of a duty of care. They knew all the times I had timed out with them and they were too frequent. I think this proves that gambling companies know when a problem gambler is betting with them and thus to allow them to continue to bet is highly exploitative and irresponsible.
I wanted to bet with a company once, I can’t remember which one exactly but I wanted to make sure that I was going to be allowed to withdraw should I win. I registered for the site. I was self excluded from only a few sites at that time, and wasn’t sure how the whole process worked. I asked this company on live chat if they were associated with any of the sites I was excluded from and they said they weren’t but the man said to me that out of a duty of care, he has terminated my registration because I have told them I have a gambling problem. Strange I haven’t remembered that before. Just came to mind while I was typing. I guess there is some shred of decency left, mind you, that was a good few years ago. If you admitted that today on registration, they’d probably welcome you with open arms!

Jane
Reply

Not gambling this last week has been the easiest thing in the world to do. That’s not because I didn’t have any money left, because I did, rather that the lesson was so harsh and so fresh, that gambling was the last thing I wanted to do.
That’s the problem isn’t it? We need to keep the pain with us, as a solid reminder not to gamble.
I’ve decided to do what I told Mat the other week, and that is to print out my relapse post and pin that pain right where I can see it. Sure it hurts to see it there and my stomach lurches when I catch site of it, but it is necessary.
Time goes on, wounds heals, money goes back in and things become bright. But so too does the idea of gambling. We forget the harm, even though we know it will happen again, and we go back for more.
That’s where we need that horrible reminder….not several pages back on Rethink, hidden in the mix of all our comments, humour and vows to never gamble again….We need to see it. We need to feel it.
Find your last relapse people. Print it out and make sure you look at the pain in your writing. It will serve you well.
We all support each other and that’s great, but the one person we really need to support more, is ourselves.
Have a lovely, safe Sunday.

NIK
Reply

Great advice as ever Jane.

I urge everyone to think of the bad times and the awful pain gambling has caused you.

Here is the advice I offer at the end of my recent book,(which no one is buying!) so I give this small extract for free.

1. Let your losses go. You will never get them back. Think of them as a mistake you have made in life, the cost of experience if you like. Forget about them, apart from the times mentioned here below * when you need to recall them in order not to repeat your mistakes.
2. To have any chance of achieving substantial, meaningful wins that will really make a difference to your life, you will have to risk substantial, life damaging stakes. Think of the consequences of the much more likely scenarios that you lose.
3. Your luck will never change, no matter how long you abstain or whatever gambling strategies you choose. Luck is irrelevant.
4. Luck plays no part whatsoever in online slots, roulette, or betting shop FOBT gambling. You are playing machines programmed ultimately to take from you everything you are prepared to risk. In the long run you can only lose.
5. If the majority of gamblers regularly profited from gambling why are there not many more professional gamblers, and why do the bookmakers never go out of business?
6. If at all possible restrict your access to funds.
7. Do not think of those occasional times you won. Think about the more frequent times you lost heavily and how it affected you. *
8. Think of the unpaid bills and the creditors constantly hounding you.
9. Think of having the funds to buy or do what you want, rather than having to constantly count the pounds every day of your life worrying if you have enough to last until the next pay / benefit day.
10. Think of the security of having money in your account rather giving it to the gambling companies.
11. Think about the loved ones you have betrayed and hurt.
12. Think about the terrible stories of the gambling addicts you have read about in this book.
13. Think – do you want the same to happen to you?

LOSER
Reply

More bounce back than a boomerang? HAHAHAHAH Kate just saw this that’s funny! Sounds like a plan Jane let’s do this! I will be off for a while and return occasionally to count days. :)
As for Joanne who know’s? She was having internet problems before i think so hopefully she is gamble free not like her to not visit the site even if it is behind the curtain lol

LOSER
Reply

Relapsed again turns out I didn’t have $100 credit only $25 and 2 x $17 free meals + free parking. Now I have lost heaps and again have $30 free credit when I return which expires in 2 weeks and they can stick that! Cutting my casino card as we speak! Sick of the gambling life, going to make changes and go out a lot more with friends to keep me busy. Going to travel a new road it might be bumpy but it will be worth the ride in the end.

P.S Joanne I hope your alright xoxo

I pledge here and today DAY 1 is 28th Jan and I will aim for 1 month gamble free.

Kate
Reply

Hi Loser

We will hold you to your pledge ….not sure how, but thought I’d say it, and also, to wish you luck

I am wondering whether Joanne is having a digital detox to keep away from temptation …I have a vague memory she said she was going to

All the best with your progress ….

Jane
Reply

That’s 2 pledges this week, Loser. One from each of us. Big losses can equal big determination. We’ve both got what we need now to keep going. We’ve both took a beating so instead of going back looking for another fight, I’m gonna turn and walk the other way. I accept defeat and that is what you have to do to be able to move forward. Arrogance in gamblers is a killer and we all have it. It’s why we feel we need to get it back the second we lose it.
I’ve handed over everything to my partner, capped all my cards and I feel really positive about moving forwards. The good thing is that this relapse is all out in the open, no hiding it, so I can get all the support I need to make it work this time.
I wish you had the same support as I do at home, Loser, but rest assured, you have it on here.
Now get that fighting spirit and move on. You can do this.

tommy
Reply

GAMBLING IS A MUGS GAME, YOU WILL ALWAYS LOSE

Kate
Reply

I agree, more bounceback than a boomerang Loser …… just wish you didn’t struggle like this – keep working on that ring of steel

Jane
Reply

Ha ha, like that little Aussie link there, Kate. :)
Yes, Loser, get that limit dropped. 3K is still too high for someone who cannot control actions. Is this credit card meant to see you through until you get paid again, or is there a glint in your eye to use it to get your losses back? I can’t tell you what to do, but you know what happened to me. 9 spins and £3085 was gone. I didn’t even think I was capable of that. Scared the eff out of me. Thank God I didn’t have access to thousands because I can see how easy it would have been to just keep going. Complete lack of control.
If you can manage without the card, I would forget it all together.
Joanne, have you disconnected from the internet? Hope you are okay.
Bought myself a new lamp. It’s a huge Himalayan rock salt lamp with a lovely warm glow. For me, it represents the start of a new period and when I look at it, it says, things will be better from that point on. Although I shouldn’t be spending, it’s good for my morale. It’s my way of drawing a line under what happened by having something fresh and new in the house that was bought after the horrible day.

Jane
Reply

Loser, you have such great bounceback-ability and you will get through this if you let go of your losses. 5 figures down on the market is not good for your gambling urges, Loser. I know you were looking forward to this as a sort of side venture, but it seems to me that your interest in the stock market is fueling the need to recoup losses by gambling.
I know that urges are a natural part of recovery, but perhaps knowing you are down so much on the market is reinforcing the urge to gamble. It certainly will not make things any easier for you. I wouldn’t sink too much more in to that if I were you. Just leave in what you have and see how it goes.
Take extra care these next few days and remember, it takes seconds to run up a huge amount of debt on your cards, but forever to pay them off. Once you open the door to credit, more will follow because it is easy to spend more than you actually need. Instead of using the cards to pay for things that you need in emergencies, people start using them to increase their overall level of spending. Then, because you have got used to having that access, once it’s filled up, you will open another and another….I have 9 cards in my name my partner has 6 and that’s just the way it started for me, so please be careful.
Have you tried logging in online and changing your credit limit? It only takes seconds and would have saved me from all that pain. If you can’t do that, cut up the card while you are feeling vulnerable. It is very easy to order a repacement card, once the cash advance facility has been removed and you are happy with the limit.
All the best Loser.

Add your comment below:

Descargar musica