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Marc
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Hey everyone, rethink is back!! How is everyone? Joanne! Hey hope you are well?

Jane
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Hi Nik hope you are well. Hi Joanne, wonder what was going on with your posts??? Weird eh?
Sorry you are having urges, Loser and relapsed again. I have also had some bad urges but only because I got a set back with the bank and it made me feel weird and negative again about things.
I’m okay now, but gambling was very much on my mind there, over the weekend. I notice that you said that you relapsed and did not enjoy it, that you sort of resented it even before you got to the casino??? This sounds like a patch I went through, where I would gamble, knowing full well that it wasn’t what I wanted to do. I would sit spinning for hours, going through the motion, but not connected to my gambling in the same way that I used to be. It was starting to lose its appeal. I think this was a noticeable change in me, and it might be for you too. I think it is because we start to realise that gambling is holding us back, but go along with the urge because we have trained ourselves to do so. Try to remember what happened on your last relapse and don’t go back for more pain!

Hi, James, this was the only place I could tell the truth too and feel good about it. Just felt too judged to talk to anyone else. Briefly mentioned it to my doctor and he did not understand at all, he made me feel so strange that I came home and relapsed after it as I didn’t feel that anyone would understand.
I think you have to be quite choosy who you share this with. Not everyone is understanding. There is a lot of ignorance about and you could come away feeling like crap if you talk to people who just say things like, ‘well why don’t you just stop then?’ I got told that they thought I was smarter than that, like intelligence has anything to do with it.

I have found the best support to be from other gamblers on forums such as this one, however, you may need professional support. Talking to people who understand exactly what it is like to be controlled by this addiction really helps us to understand why we do the things we do and can stop us from feeling alone and misunderstood. One thing gamblers do all the time is beat themselves up thinking they are stupid for being suckered into gambling which is why it is important to understand that people continue to hurt themselves knowing full well the harm it will cause. If we could rationalise our gambling, we would not gamble in the first place, so doing so after losing our money will lead to self loathing and more chasing. It is better to just accept that we messed up and gambled again and ask ourselves what we could have done differently, what led us to gamble, what were our triggers and what can we do to make sure that it cannot happen again. It’s far more productive than just sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves and hating on ourselves because this will only send us back for more.
Despite knowing the harm, people continue to gamble. When I lost money, I took out a loan which was supposed to repay the debt but when it hit the bank, I saw an opportunity to gamble and try and make more out of it, but I lost the lot. £3,000 turned into £7,000 and in the end, I am thousands down because of this horrible addiction. I lost all the loan and still had to pay it back.
Trouble is, James, I still want to gamble. I’m not sure if it ever goes away completely, but I have managed to go 5 months gamble free. I think we just learn ways to manage the addiction, but the urges do remain. I want to gamble, I just don’t allow myself to. If I did, the floodgates would open and I would not be able to stop. I manage my addiction by not feeding it and I think then the hunger stops somewhat.

If you have underlying problems that are causing you to gamble, James, like depression or money worries, then these will need to be addressed too, otherwise they will strengthen the urges.
All the best everyone.

LOSER
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Urges all day like every minute of the day by 6:45pm couldn’t hack it anymore and went to the casino. In fact by the time I was driving there part of me didnt want to go but I wasn’t in control. Lost $550 in 30 minutes (ridiculous) didnt even enjoy myself took me longer to drive there! Then found $7 in the ashtray turned it into $26 and lost all that too! Guess only thing good was I had more on me than $550 but left the rest at home. I feel like i didn’t even go it was like I was in there for a minute and gone. So much for relaxing and enjoying playing I am soooo out of control.
I’m not bothering to even stop now just to reduce the money on gambling.

Jane I am not sure if it’s monitored or not however I believe they flicked it off because of all the crap posts and abuse that was going on as it took too long to come back on with no changes and no warning. I think maybe it’s monitored like monthly so I am sure that crap hacker spam will be removed eventually. Let’s hope no more abusive posts as the site will be gone forever then.

P.S. Joanne your email address works for me HAHAHAHAHAH

Kate
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I don’t think rethink is active anymore as an organisation – the last tweet seems to have been September 2017 …..and I think Loser is right, it was switched off as a result of the abusive messages/upsets…..not sure why it has been switched back on, but I very much doubt if the site is monitored.

I’ve been away for a few days to see a new baby in the family – the first of a new generation – my brothers’ eldest son and wife have just become grand parents, and I am a great aunt. She is a lovely little baby . My brother is quite a gambler – poker ( on line and casino) plus lost of sports betting ….. he says it is within his control and he is a very clever guy, so maybe it is, but I was a bit taken aback how much time he spends on his laptop checking scores and checking his position ……. he thinks people who gamble on slots are complete losers, so it is not a subject I feel I can raise with him!!! Not so sure his gambling is what you might call sensible, but I’m not going to go there either!!!

Anyway, no urges whilst I was away …either smoking or gambling ….so fingers crossed this continues after the bumpy weeks over Christmas.

I read your email Jane about being turned down for a loan …… I can see how it made you feel – you can’t just wipe the slate clean – nor can I …..I try not to think about my credit card payments and loan, and how long it is going to be before I get on top of things again ….but we just have to stick with it, and remind ourselves we are winning by not gambling, in the long run

I remember blowing a lot of money really quickly too Loser …… like a gambling binge ….. as if you just can’t get rid of your money fast enough.

James, I agree with Jane – be careful who you open up to in the ‘real’ world ….but you can open up on a forum like this. I think counselling might also help you – either way, keep posting and expressing how you feel – it really helped me and others on this site

Kate
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Just realized my post doesn’t make much sense ….my brothers’ son and his wife have just had a baby, so my brother has become a grand parent ….my brothers’ son hasn’t become a grand parent …!

Jane
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Ah….that new baby smell! Glad to hear the good news, Kate.
I just found it weird that the site hadn’t changed any. I mean what was the purpose of taking it down if not to implement change?
I just figure if it was indeed took down because of the abusive posts, then why leave it there when they had weeks to clean it up…..especially with the pledge at the top of the page stating that all abuse will be removed?

Oh well, I’m just glad we can all chat again.
Keep doing that thing you do, Kate. You are doing so well.

James
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Has anyone ever rang one of these ‘gamblers anonymous’ or helplines and did it help? Feel like I need to get things off my chest to someone instead of keeping them inside but abut weary of them?

James
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Really struggling at the moment. Took out more loans to cover my gambling addiction to pay the bills and still decided to gamble. Really don’t know how I’m going to get through the next couple of months. I feel like I’m ready to stop gambling now but have really dug a deep hole for myself. This is the only place I can tell the truth. I feel like a zombie walking about.

Joanne
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Hi,

I’ve been trying to post with my usual address since Friday but my posts didn’t show. I’ve created a new address and it seems I can now post. I’ll be back later!

Joanne

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