Comments

mat
Reply

Day 2 Feeling exhausted, yesterday that heavy rain what a nightmare to work, its raining everyday here, had chills and night terrors last night, that last loss really made me upset lost all winnings, last time I lost £600 on the 1st September and before that on 11th August I lost £1260, this year I lost around £3500 its really upsetting, lot of work for nothing. Last year it was much worse as I lost £13.000 in a short time, it was crazy and completely out of control I lost £4700 in one 2 hour session at ladbrokes. I need to get my act together and stop this time for good, there is no getting that money back only losses get bigger and big win now and then to keep me in the game. Having some stomach problems and headaches again, that’s the stress doing damage to my body.

Nik
Reply

Sorry to hear about this Matt.
You will never get it back. Never come anywhere near to getting it back.
There is only one way to win, although it doesn’t feel like it, at least not for a long time, and that is to just stop completely.
Do not give them a penny more – let ‘em starve!

Jane
Reply

Come on, Mat, you can do this. Let go of that money, take care of yourself and your future. There is no changing the past, so don’t beat yourself up about it. What can it change, except make you ill.
Allow yourself to be happy by forgetting this whole stupid thing and never ever gamble again.
I am having trouble sleeping too. Unfortunately had to sell some more stuff this week to get by. Had some payments bounce.
You are still comfortable off, Mat. You have some money put by and some security, so keep it. I am going day to day, holding out for pay days and I haven’t even lost money gambling for ages. It takes so long to clean up the mess we make, for the sake of a few hours of stupid highs and lows, only to lose it all again.
What’s the point?
Let’s keep what we’ve worked hard for. Why should we give it to them? We only make them richer and ourselves poorer and sicker in the process.
Thumping headache too, Mat. Had some family upset and nearly gambled, but I didn’t. I am sick of hurting myself over problems. I don’t deserve it. I have to stop leaning on gambling.
Really hope you feel better soon and that you can get some good dry weather for your work.
All the best. x

Andyday
Reply

Day 12

monica
Reply

Wow,100 days. So you were well into recovery and have practiced recovery more than lapses. So consider this a blip and just get on with living each day gambling free. I am ok. Have had a busy day today and ventured out into the world to get my hair cut. Am going to start seriously looking for a job now. It has taken me to day 35 to get over the damage from my last relapse i.e. Depression, ulcer etc. I am doing ok, no urges. Dealing with the debts will come later. Just focused on recovery.

john
Reply

Hi everbody still gambling free day 13th hope you are all ok but joeanne i think the best you could do leave this site for your own best nobody want you.you speack rubbish

Jane
Reply

Hi John, glad you are doing ok. Day 37 for me. It’s slow going, but I just have to get on with it and keep busy. I keep making plans to do things so that I don’t have time to think about silly bets. The main time I struggle is at night, and whenever I try to relax. Thoughts come to gamble and I struggle to chase them away as I am trying to rest or sleep, so I can’t just bounce up and go do something. But it will get easier.
Stick with it, John.

Kate
Reply

Hi Jane/John – good to hear from you John, glad you are doing OK. Jane, I have started taking a Magnesium supplement last thing at night – it is a good therapy for insomnia because as well as many other functions, magnesium relaxes you …….. maybe read up on it first and see whether it might suit you?

Jane
Reply

Sounds good, Kate. I will look into it. I can always manage to rest when I don’t plan to. If I’m just sitting at night, watching a program, I can easily find myself nodding. It’s when I actually go and get into bed, my heart races and I start thinking about problems, bills, etc and stupidly, I start thinking about gambling to fix it all! I am having a really bad patch of day dreaming about wins…you know, placing imaginary bets and then soothing myself with the outcome! They keep creeping in and it is really distracting.

Someone opened a false case against me on ebay, and it locked up my paypal account, so I am having trouble doing my usual banking today. My account has gone over limit as a result and it’s not fair because the person knows full well that they are lying, but that’s distant selling for you. When it works, it works great, but when it goes wrong, it really stresses you out because the process is so drawn out. They just open a case against you, lock up your money and then fail to communicate to work it out! :( So that’s more stress to worry about…..I hope it gets sorted soon because the bank will not be happy with me helping myself to another grand’s worth of overdraft!
I worked out that if I keep going, I can be back in the black for Christmas. Still seems a long way away, but at least, there’s an end point. Then I can concentrate on paying more off the debt.
Lovely bright morning for us today. Hope it’s nice where you are.

Kate
Reply

The ebay thing sucks – not sure I mentioned, but I had an incident with fraud on my ebay account recently – but paypal were brilliant and refunded the money that was supposedly spent on some industrial equipment in China ……. as you say, great when it works, but a pain when it doesn’t

I have been out with Woody for one of the most beautiful walks ever …along the cliffs looking out over the sea – glinting sunshine, flat calm, little sailing boats bobbing about – gorgeous ….and then Woody ran off ( as per usual) …but it was great until then!

Jane
Reply

Sounds really serene. Don’t have the glistening water, but do have a lovely green forest a short drive away. It has acres and acres of walks with lovely views. We have been going for years now, and we still get lost! It reminds me of Ireland because you actually can’t see any urban areas at all…..just green trees and blue skies.
I always practice mindfulness when I am there. Just listening, observing….taking it all in. I connect so well with nature, I feel like it puts back what the madness takes away.
So calming.
Woody really is a free spirit, isn’t he? I think it is he who takes you for a walk, Kate!

Kate
Reply

He is indeed a free spirit – we have had a few incidents though ! Like having the naughtiest child in the class …obviously all down to me. There was a programme as I was driving on R4 – all about using nature walks/gardening as a key therapy for mental health – particularly depression and anxiety – it must have been about 9.45 when I caught it – definitely worth trying to find it on iplayer

monica
Reply

How r u today Ben?

ben
Reply

Hi Monica ☺ I’ve been better I’m not gonna lie. It should of been 100 days tomorrow but instead I’m on day 2. How are you Monica?

monica
Reply

Ignore the hi Kate in the last post, ipad going wonky.

Kate
Reply

Ok Monica !

monica
Reply

Joanne, it isn’t religion. It is whatever higher power is or means to you as in the GA step 2. This can be the GA, Buddha or whoever. For me it is Jesus. Believe me when I say that I do not like organised religion. I really feel the you have missed the point completely and I have avoided responding to you till now in the sense that I have seen your antics on this site and find your behaviour completely disruptive. I Hi Kate you are jealous of Jane as she has done somuchtosupport people on this site. Giving up gambling is a serious affair and you mess with vulnerable people in ways you really should not. That’s all.

Joanne
Reply

I realise that giving up gambling is a serious affair , I’ve even stated that fact over the past couple of days, I daresay we’re all feeling the same level of vulnerability.

Here’s what I’ve had to put up with recently ……

accused of inventing people to talk to ……

being a narcissist,

being talked about behind my back when the 3 of you (Jane, Monica and Kate) know damn well that I can read it

been told to get lost or words to the effect, not quite sure what gives anyone the right to say that to anyone!

I could go on but I can’t really be bothered.

I just expressed the view, that although we may be different ,everyone is equal on the forum, and therefore everyone should treat each other accordingly.

Joanne
Reply

As I said earlier, I respect the fact that some of you gain strength from your religious beliefs. However, I don’t think it was unreasonable of me to ask that you tone it down a little. I can only speak on behalf of myself but no doubt we all hold our own views on religion, some of us may not have any religious conviction at all but at least we’re not shoving it constantly in the face of others.

Joanne
Reply

I do not wish to be confrontational but I feel that Jane, Kate and Monica as a team are beginning to monopolise the forum with their views on religion ,their views on what drives people to gamble and their views that a gambling addiction has been given to us as some kind of test . Each of us have our own reasons for gambling and our own feelings about what our gambling addiction means to us, etc and all I’m asking for is , and yet again I can only speak on behalf of myself, that we are given the space on the forum to express those views (even if we’re only talking to ourselves, or thinking out loud!) .

Joanne
Reply

And finally, we should be allowed to be ‘ourselves’ , some of us may communicate more eloquently than others, that’s fine, each to their own, but some of us and I can only speak for myself , like to express ourselves less eloquently through choice. I’ve always held the view that ‘we’re all different, but we’re all equal’.

Joanne
Reply

And finally!, I’m fed up of Jane’s patronising comments ………….. I’ve every faith in you etc …. who in the hell do you think you are , the self-appointed patron saint of gamblers! Like I said, we’re all different, but we’re all equal!

Hopefully, we can restore some equilibrium to the forum. Joanne

Kate
Reply

I think you are coming from a place of jealousy and spite Joanne. Jane has won
the respect of people on this forum by being consistently kind , supportive and insightful . You have been jealous of her for some time …. what a destructive way to be. I am glad she faces you down. You deserve it. I know it is pointless trying to communicate with you … you don’t listen and you have pulled some very weird stuff of late , so I don’t hold out much hope that any one will reach you, Grow up , accept that you have not endeared yourself to a single person on this forum. Whether you stay or go is your business but I just wish you would be less nasty to people. Actually It’s not People is it? Just women .

ben
Reply

Can everyone stop arguing! We are on this site for help…..we should be supporting each other!

Joanne
Reply

quote …………….. ‘you’ve pulled some weird stuff of late’ ……………. I’ll look forward to your apology.

Joanne
Reply

I don’t hold out much hope that anyone will reach you …………. I’m more than capable of looking after myself, …………. I’ve taken on board everything from the documentary that I flagged up, (interestingly over 300 views over the past couple of days) so I’ve woken up to these evil machines! Seriously, do you really think that a person is going to be concerned about how popular they are on a forum, where everyone is anonymous, don’t be so ridiculous. I come here because it reinforces the fact that I am a gambling addict, and I also like to flag up things that may be of interest to other gambling addicts. I only expressed the view that we should be treating each other as equals , because the sly digs haven’t gone by un-noticed and some people are very patronising in their approach to others.

Monica
Reply

Hi all,
Kate – I only just read your post of yesterday because of the order they come in. Thanks for that. Love the human potential to f things up. How true! When I get some cash I will have a read. I am feeling more myself by the day with a way to go yet. And yes, I am getting a lot out of GA. Munhoi, I think we all do that ie if only could turn the clock back. But we can’t and the lost money is gone. My losses are huge too and i on;y stopped when destitution was the next stop. We can beat this but we must really want it. And we need to forgive ourselves which is huge. I think we would all say that gambling was the biggest mistake of our lives. You are not alone at all in this. We all got suckered in and paid the price. No more.

munhoi
Reply

I literally rehash my mistakes every waking day and picture the good life I could have had that everyone else has , its like you have cancer and life is passing you by and everyone is happy but you, your mind is locked in a prison and even after reading Eckhart Tolle – living for the now concept that all problems are just problems created by your mind – you still create the problems in your mind and cant live for the moment. After the financial destruction you live with this kind of mental torment every day of your life. Its more then tough – its almost unbearable sometimes. I run , swim , do yoga to help – but even all that doesn’t . Its the hardest thing I have dealt with all my life – and it all started with something that seemed so innocent. And to think your life was hard to begin with – this added problem makes life so much more hard on your well being. It is one of the most lonely things you have to deal with it alone.

Joanne
Reply

I respect your honesty munhoi. It is mental torture having to live with the financial loss caused by gambling. Nobody knows about the vast sum of money I have lost, it hurts , I’d be lying if I said otherwise. As you say, how did something so innocent get so out of hand. Best wishes to you , Joanne

Jane
Reply

Oh dear, Joanne, you have been reported. You’ve had enough chances to start acting like a normal, responsible person. We all have gambling problems, we need support, not criticism.

I hope you are proud of yourself. I’m not going to allow you to continue to act so disgracefully on a public forum and systematically work your way through all these vulnerable people with your abuse. Call me all you want, I’m over your silly games, but the point is, this gambling forum is for support, not trolls. Rethink does not want you running everyone away with your horrendous behaviour.

Attention seeking, really??? You are the one who invents people to talk to because no one else will! I don’t think you can top that for attention seeking/unstable behaviour. It’s pretty out there, even for you.
Which of your many faces are you finding hard to keep straight now, Joanne?
You are just a little angry person, sad and lonely, sitting behind a computer. How very brave you are to target vulnerable people in need of help. You just can’t stand it that people on here get along and are nice, decent people, each trying to help the other.
Why don’t you pick on someone your own size, if you can find anyone that small.
Yesterday was an awful day for me, I mean really awful. The nice people on here got me through it. Of course people winning creates urges, as does emotional upset. Just because I agree with one point doesn’t discount the other, you silly little woman. My gambling is complex. It is not black and white. I don’t just gamble for reason X. You really can’t relate to any of us, can you? But that does not give you the right to call people.

Do not pretend that you are here on this website to cure yourself of addiction. You are here for entertainment.
Why don’t you leave us all alone and do something decent for once. No one wants to talk to you, so you just start stirring up trouble again. So sad. Such a small person you are. I feel sorry for you. Really I do.

Joanne
Reply

You are the one who invents people to talk to ………………………… I’ll look forward to your apology to me as well!

Joanne
Reply

I wish some of you would stop playing your childish games of late. I’m fully aware of the sly digs that are coming my way, well guess what, you’re wasting your time, I don’t give a shit, I’m only here to cure myself of this very harmful addiction. I’m also fully aware of those that are engaging in attention seeking ploys, stop playing others for fools.

I respect the fact that some of you find strength in your religious beliefs but I don’t see why it has to be incorporated in every post you put up .

Overcoming this addiction is serious stuff, this is SURVIVAL, survival of our mental health and well-being and survival of our financial health.

Joanne

munhoi
Reply

I was only a day away from kicking my day trading stock gambling problem 2 years ago, I opened 4 bank accounts , told my ex girlfriend I finally stopping for good, but while waiting for the funds to clear to make the transfers, I relapsed and within 4 months I lost several million dollars , a lifetime of sweat tears and labor and my entire wealth and nest egg gone, it then started an epic life collapse where I am still dealing with the after effects, pain, stress, mental anguish , depression. I look back to that day and realize that is a similar story to a lot of addicts, you came close but never made it to the other side – that OH so close means nothing because if you never made it over the other side – its just an IF. A lifetime of pain and suffering and loneliness – that’s what it does to you.

Monica
Reply

Hi Jane,

I relate so much to what you are saying. Yes, it is faith in the wrong place. Before I went bonkers on my last binge, I had won enough to keep me going for a couple of months but binged it all. As I personally hit my rock bottom, went to GA and am in a process of rediscovering my faith, this was probably for the best. Although, life would have been far easier if I had just stopped, I got at least three chances to do so with big wins in the binge, and I did not stop. But that is the nature of the disease. It played itself out and I am now so anti-gambling and see it as pure evil, that my recovery is helped and supported by that. I acknowledge that this cannot be done on your own and we need the external support to do so. I am so glad to have met you, Kate, Ben, Andrei and Mat on this site. Day 35. I got my straggly hair cut this morning, Not coloured though as could not afford that! Last cut was in January – used to do every 8 weeks before gambling.

Jane
Reply

Ah, I’m sure you look lovely, Monica. You sound happier, and that is so good. Such a journey you have been on, lately.
I wouldn’t change what happened to me. As hard as it all was, it was necessary as it was the only way to get me to stop.
Adversity forces a change for the better and I am really glad that change has come for both of us. It is bittersweet, but it is necessary.

Kate
Reply

Good to meet you too Monica …. keep on doing what you’re doing

Joanne
Reply

I’ll probably get ignored or shot down for my next comment but I’m not a one for ‘standing outside the fire’!
Is religion another form of addiction, to replace another addiction ……………. a crutch ………..
It’s beginning to feel like ‘Rethink religion’ instead of ‘Rethink gambling’ ………… no offence, maybe you girls should ease up a little on the religion. I can only speak for myself of course but I’m finding it a little uncomfortable, a little too much of it is being shoved in our face.

No point in praying for devine intervention when playing the slots/pokies, these machines are designed to be totally random, even the people who design them, the maths wizards, cannot predict when they will pay out or how much they will pay out. All the casino owners know is that they will get their cut of 15% or less of the money that is poured into these machines.

Hussain Yasmin
Reply

i banned my self for 18 months and then my ban was lifted few days ago and i put 4300 pounds in 1 hour in FOBT William hill. They have to go from our cities and towns. Far too addictive and is killing us all. Ive done a channel 4 news documentary about these and should be on this week. Thanks

Hussain Yasmin
Reply

My name is Hussain Vorajee from Gloucester. Ive done a few tv documentaries about my severe gambling addiction and im on channel 4 news this week some time 6.30 evening about the FOBT. We are campaining till the end to bring these machines down to £2.00 a spin. This is the least we expect. This will see a huge number of shops dissapear from our town and cities.

Jane
Reply

Excellent, Hussain. I wish you well with your efforts to get these machines out of our towns. I have seen the suffering first hand, with windows smashed and paint thrown all over the door. People have had enough. If they can’t listen to people, then we will have to keep pushing until someone in power stands up for the rest of us.

We do not have to suffer this anymore. Gambling ruins lives and the government should not profit from such an affliction. Change will happen, if we keep forcing the issue. I also wish you well with your recovery.
Never stop trying to give up.

monica
Reply

Hi Kate, you are spot on. I think there are particular issues with female problem gamblers which are subtly different to their male counterparts. I hope NIk in your book you mention the rise in lady CGs. I had a troubled and rebellious adolescence and part of my taking it down to 0 was I never thought things could get better and I had no mentors or role models in my life. Despite my spirituality and going to healers, none of these made any difference and I lost faith. I am regaining that faith now in Jesus.

Jane
Reply

Monica, throughout my gambling, I wore two rings that I considered to be lucky. One had the word ‘belief’ and the other said, ‘courage’. I interpreted these to mean the belief that I would win and the courage to try to get my money back, to be brave enough to chase those losses until I got them back…..

How wrong could I be?

I now realise that the words on my rings means the courage to stop gambling and the belief that in doing so, things will get better.
I was putting my faith in the wrong place. Faith in the system and faith in the machine when what I really needed was faith in myself.

I do pray, but I don’t tend to pray actual prayers. I tend to ‘chat’ to God in rather a friendly, colloquial way. I once read that God wants us to talk to him as we would do a friend. To be open and honest with him and that by doing so, he will hear us.

I have always had a problem with praying for money, because it conflicts with faith in so many ways, however, during some insanely difficult times, I asked God to please, please help me….I wanted him to help me get my money back, so that I could make the madness end.

Sometimes, I got my money back and I was very grateful, but all I did was repeat the same mistakes. I did not have the sense to appreciate the good grace, and reneged on my promise to stop gambling.
One really desperate evening, when I really should have been with the family, preparing a nice evening meal, I found myself totally and utterly despaired, having lost £3,000 in the space of an hour.

I again prayed for the chance to ‘redeem myself’, that’s how I used to look at it, by asking God to help me get my losses back. I was terrified of being found out and I was so incredibly scared. I knew I had gone too far this time, losing rent and all the bill money. I prayed for the win, but the answer was no. My faith not being shaken by this, I simply closed the laptop and smiled and told God that it was okay, that I shouldn’t expect him to bail me out. In that moment, I accepted responsibility and it felt good.
I felt strong and empowered and unlike before, when I went off feeling relieved to get my money back, I felt strong and capable of making the change happen. I had hit my rock bottom, and instead of feeling dread, I felt tremendous relief. In accepting this defeat, and my own mistakes, I opened up and told my partner the truth, and he has been there for me ever since.

Sometimes I feel that life is very much like the Footprints poem….When you need God the most, you might feel abandoned, and that he is not listening, because we might not get the answer we want.

However, the answer we do get, may just be exactly what we need.

Two sets of prints in the sand as God walks alongside us….
One set of prints through our most difficult trials….because it is not that God abandoned us, but it is then that God carried us, and still does today.

Have faith in your life, in whatever form that takes….be it in yourself, your God, in mankind, in those around us….Faith will serve you well and help you reach your destination. Faith does not have to be in religion, faith is trust, faith is hope.

I have faith in all of you.
Have a safe, gambling free day.

Joanne
Reply

Some of you may have watched the documentary I flagged up, interestingly it’s had over 200 views in the last couple of days. It’s obvious from the lady’s fashion! that this documentary was made several years ago. One of the casino owners who commission these machines to be built is asked , ‘how are they so successful’? His response ………….. ‘build a better maths trap’ ……………. pretty much says it all ………………… as I said, the documentary was made several years ago, makes you wonder how even more sophisticated these machines have become in getting us hooked and extracting our money.

This is serious, SURVIVAL, survival of the fittest as they say, and I’m no longer going to be f****d over by these slot machines ……………..

Leave a Reply to Kate Cancel reply

Descargar musica