Comments

LOSER
Reply

I have a splitting headache and yesterday I gambled bloody 7 hours straight no wonder my eye’s hurt. The urges came on strong and it’s like my brain couldn’t even fight them and while I was driving to the casino I was thinking turn back, don’t go. Lost $800 in less than 30 minutes and withdrew another $1000. This is a huge issue for me as I have noticed throughout the years I have no limit now, it was $1000 but now i have gone over that threshold and it appears going with nearly $2000 is the norm. I am depressed even writing this but hopefully it will be my last post of relapse. I am also frightened of the fact that the gambling has taken over my brain in a much stronger way now allowing me to bet $7.50, $10 spins without a thought. Back in the day used to think people who did that were mad but it appears I am one of them now. I started to win and lose and win and then finally I won jackpot couldn’t believe it and had $2900 in my pocket and started to walk out and just before i got out the door I ended up on a machine thinking only $100 then I go and it turned out I blew another $1000. I AM SO DEPRESSED! I cannot even walk out with winnings what the F**K is wrong with me!!!! It was like i was a possessed zombie and wanted to leave but my body wasn’t listening and sitting in the chair. I was so tired, couldn’t even concentrate on the machine yet stayed and played ridiculous amounts. Eventually I did win $400 of that back but of course it’s like these machines had mind controlled me and I couldn’t move! Eventually I thought i had around $1600 and forced myself out the door! This is what scares me the most the fact that I couldn’t leave with winnings then WHY DO I GO FOR? I t turned out i had left with $1750 so lost $50 last night but I could have left with another $1000 and so this is the most depressing part of all that:

1. I cannot control myself
2. I am another person when gambling
3. The casino and machines have control of my brain

I am really at a loss what to do……because people put their houses in a casino and I am scared that I am getting closer to that line. I cannot even bother trying this out but maybe I just need to do so to let it go. The other part that worry’s me is once this gambling is in your brain their is no switching it off, it’s like you can dim the light’s and not gamble for a while but once you go back just once it’s a lightbulb moment and the beast comes back with such a force. After those jackpot win’s a few months ago I kept going and felt I had crossed another threshold to a deeper gambling addiction.
I was thinking of returning to counselling but it didn’t work out for me last time.
I remember many years ago it took a good 6 months to really shake the urges and things were bad going through that but stupid me decided to go to the casino to gamble and ruined it all.
All I can do is start again I guess….I had stopped for 2 months and didn’t put all barriers up like no access to money etc as I thought I was fine. I highly suggest always put your barriers in place because you don’t know hen the devil will control you. I plan to lock all my money up today and start again.
DAY 1 = 12th Dec 2017

DESTROY GAMBLING
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NIK I bought your book mate it’s crap you basically just googled gambling addiction an compiled it all together. Desperate man looking for quick change an I was stupid to buy it.

NIK
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Thanks for your feedback. I am sorry you feel this way.

To be honest I was expecting this kind of criticism. I would say three things in defence.
1. Most non fiction books make heavy use of other sources, are they all therefore ‘crap’?
2. Of the 103,000 words approx 33,000 are my own. Okay only a third but…
3. I have spent time gathering the information together.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion but I spent very many months working on it. A great deal longer than it took you to dismiss it in a couple of seconds as ‘crap.’
I am not sure what you were expecting, as I had to compile the information from somewhere, and for anyone who is interersted it is in one place rather than dozens.
Perhaps you might prefer my previous gambling book which was all my own work.

mat
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Hi all just noticed site is back on, it was going all well and one day I put £50 and got £700 then I gambled all week little by little managed to get it to £1760 then lost all the cash on the 6th December as expected (always happens) even though I didn’t lose my money except the £50 it made me so upset the headache just stopped today afternoon I felt drunk and nauseous without drinking it really gets worse and worse each time after the loss i felt as i was hit by a car, Good thing i don’t have access to money so i had to run home did smash some random stuff at home and cut my hand, worst thing is that i lost control and got carried away.
Recovery starts again Day 3

Jane
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Really nice talking to you all again. Mr X, lovely to see you are doing well. It’s going to be hard to step back, but I feel it is necessary. I feel like I have a lot of momentum going and really want to press on. I am excited at the prospect of a life without gambling, and I hope that my enthusiasm will spur you all to carry on. I have my guard up and will continue to remind myself that management is for life.

Just wanted to say Nik, that I was sorry to hear about your mom. Good on you for getting your book out there. Thank you all for your well wishes for my daughter. She is doing okay but very frustrated at not being able to get around, and of course, all her Christmas plans have had to change. We are working with the police to try to prove this guy was speeding because it seems kid’s statements don’t count for much. (not very fair, since there were many kids there at the time who are quite traumatised by what they witnessed, but the police say their statements are biased because they are friends of hers.) My son was inches from the car when it flew past, but his instincts told him to step back. Don’t know how he would have fared had it hit him as he is a lot smaller and it would have struck him in the chest. Doesn’t bear thinking about. Luckily there may be some CCTV.

Don’t feel too down about relapse. I see there has been lots of suffering lately, Ben, Loser, Andy and some new members….I also saw that Joanne sadly relapsed on Gamcare. This is something we have to carry with us now for life, but it doesn’t have to control us. Gambling can affect our emotions and emotions can cause us to gamble. Emotions are not logical. The response to emotional upset is often to gamble, but gambling is not logical either. Gambling is not fun, and should not be sold as such. When a person is addicted, it is nothing more than a form of self abuse. It won’t pick you up, it will keep you down. If I had stopped gambling when the fun stopped, I would have stopped 5 years ago, when things got serious. If I had a choice; the cash back, or the time back, I’d take the time back. So much wasted time. Time trumps money, any day. It is the most valuable thing we have.

I didn’t stop gambling because I told myself I could control it. I knew I couldn’t but I chose to believe that so that I could keep gambling. If you accept it is a problem, then you have to do something about it, and I wasn’t prepared to give it up. Now I am ready and willing to take back that control and I know that all of you will also get that control back too, but there have been many difficult times in between, and it is important not to lose hope and motivation. The light in your brain that tells you to gamble will fade and one day, it will go out. So keep going, keep focused and also, don’t count the days too much. Just focus on good things, day in and day out. Keep the mind busy and give yourself a purpose, something to feel positive about. Low self esteem is one of the reasons people gamble, as is boredom. Some people just like to gamble, others feel they need it. There are so many reasons people gamble, but there is one big reason not to…………your life.
It’s not for sale. So take it back. You are worth more than a few quid on the slots or the horses.

Will check in around Christmas and thanks for understanding. It’s time to look after myself so that I can be the person I used to be before gambling.
Best wishes to all who are posting and those who have not yet found Rethink again. Whether you choose to come back or not, I just want you all to know that I wish you all well and trust that good things will find each and every one of you.
x

Andy
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Welcome back Jane, glad you came back on here, thought you may have given rethink the boot, so glad you haven’t. Well done on still not gambling, wish i could say the same but i’m on day 3 again. Sorry to hear about your daughter, hope she is OK and has a speedy recovery. All the best everyone

LOSER
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Hi Jane,

That was one of your best posts and in fact I read it all and enjoyed it. I can totally resonate with your post and when I started to read it I thought thank God for your return but as I continued to read it I realised this is a new and improved happier Jane and I knew you were going to say your “moving on”. Totally agree with everything you said and I feel part of my recent relapse was the return of this site (How ironic) I have also noticed that on occasion when I left the site I went longer without gambling, but to talk about it and always be around people who are relapsing I have now realised dosn’t help me. Remember what I told you along time ago when you first joined the forum? Remember when I said, “Concentrate more on your own gambling addiction than helping other’s? ” I said that because you reminded me of myself years ago on another forum helping everyone, replying to all posts but then I realised I wasn’t concentrating on my own addiction.
I am very sorry to hear about your daughter and glad she is alive, pelvis injury is serious and you will have to ask questions regarding her getting pregnant when she wants to start a family as she might have to be bed ridden for this.
I hope Kate is doing well and yes I agree with you I felt Kate was ready to move on. Kinda sad to leave the forum but I feel it’s time for me to move on too. I too will occasionally visit to see how everyone is but will delete the email account I have associated to this forum as I keep getting email notifications and I cannot resist to look. LOL
I wish you all the best Jane and thanks for all your advice and help to everyone on here the past year…

DAY 1 = 5TH DEC 2017
I will be back when I hit 100 days…….

Jane
Reply

Hey guys, just seen Joanne’s post on Gamcare to say this place is back up and running. I literally checked the site every day and then gave up looking. Spent a few days on Gamcare, but my God, that site is complex. It doesn’t flow well. Certainly not set up to ‘chat’ like this one is and it’s a bit sterile.
To be honest, I think that is the problem. Like Loser says, this site is addictive. I think I became addicted to helping myself, instead of just trying to put measures in place and move on. I think we can sometimes be guilty of talking too much about gambling and it may well be counterproductive to ruminate so much on all the reasons why. Maybe it tethers us to the past in some way and prevents us from really moving on?
I guess it’s like when someone breaks up with you, you can mull over it, blame them, blame yourself, wallow in all the reasons why….or you can just move on.
The thing is, many of us regulars are all veterans. We all know how to help ourselves. We don’t need advice. More so, we need to just know others are there, wishing us well. I think this means we want to just talk and that’s why we get caught up so much in this site. It’s like a big, bay window with the light on and no curtains up. We all want to just look in!
Having Rethink close down was a mixed blessing. I felt isolated, but found myself moving on in many ways, I still have not gambled since August (Yay!) and I have even stopped counting, so I don’t know what day I am on.
My 100 days came and went without even a thought, or a party popper. I’d gone past it and I didn’t even realise! Thank you for your kind words on here and on Gamcare, and for all thinking about all of us, even though we are not posting.
No, I wasn’t staying away because of anyone. I don’t think others are either. Kate’s last post was that she would like to chat in a more neutral, non gambling environment. I just want to move forward and really make change happen. I am a bit superstitious and thought that if I talk too much and make posts about the past, that I will start going backwards again, and I have been doing good.
I just thought I’d let you all know I’m doing well and I am sad to see so many of you are still struggling. Remember that gambling is an addiction that needs managing for life, but you can learn to live alongside it. I don’t think it ever goes away, but it sinks into the dark recesses of your mind where it becomes benign.

Had the worst day of my life on Friday. We had opened our Advent calendars and kissed our kids goodbye for school, only minutes earlier, when a girl came knocking on the door, looking frantic. I thought she’d come to call for them and went to the door to say she had just missed them. She had run back to tell us that my gal had been hit by a speeding car. I honestly thought the worst, and have no idea how I made it up the street, but thank God, she just had a broken pelvis. She’d been knocked up in the air and onto the pavement, where her first thought was to check in her bag to make sure she hadn’t smashed her iphone! Shook me up no end. She has crutches and no school for 2 weeks so I’m here to take care of her till she recovers.

Truth is, life is good right now. Still struggling with issues but I find it is better to try to battle on, than keep processing it. I think I have been overthinking things, and this site, although I love it, has kept gambling relevant and I really want to let it go.
I will check in from time to time, but I don’t want to be weighed down by all the emotions. I think Joanne was right when she said that we can get bogged down with everybody’s problems. I know I did. I took it all on, felt a need and obligation to help people, but by doing so, prevented myself from breaking free.

Gambling is, for many, an emotional problem, so it makes sense to keep emotions in check if you want to remain gamble free. Dwelling on emotions for me, meant dwelling on thoughts of gambling to erase them. I really hope anyone who feels the need to talk, comes forward and opens up about gambling. For me, my story is all out there, there’s no need to open up anymore. All I need now is to be myself.
The very best of everything to all of you. See you around. #trademarklongpost :)

NIK
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Hi Jane.

Glad to see you’re back and hope your daughter’s okay.
Also glad to see you’re staying stromg.
As you can see I lapsed in November for the first time since August (you are now beating me). I lost £520.

Also lost another £20 on Tuesday on the football. I was one game away from winning – but that’s always the case.

Very annoyed with myself, particularly with the going back on the slots and losing £500 in half an hour, especially after all the advice I have given about the slots in my new book.
Have to start all over again from Dec 5.

DESTROY GAMBLING
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Another £400 today got up to £700 started doing £50 spins covering 4 numbers. I want to end this all

Andy
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Mate you will never beat those machines. I stopped playing FOBTs on September 8th. That was the last pound I’m ever going to put into them. I relapsed the other day just betting horses. I need to stop completely. Don’t put another penny into those wretched things!

Claire
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Just finish a gambling binge and have lost £1200. This was my Christmas money, now I don’t know what to do I can’t afford presents. I have ruined Christmas for my husband and children. I feel like just running away or ending it all. I have got a clue how I am going to tell my husband he will leave me. I am so angry and disgusted in myself. How does a mother do this to her children.

Andy
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Own up Claire. You will feel a weight lifted from your shoulders. He may go potty but if he loves you he will understand and try to help, put all blockers in place and get help. Gamcare are good. All the best

DESTROY GAMBLING
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Back at it this week another £1000 relapse today 800 the other day i dont know why I’m working. Been gambling for 3 years non stop now tried everything to help me. As soon as I loose i wont stop till i won. Now ive lost everything. AGAIN

LOSER
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Yep I will join the Andy and Ben club of relapse just did $1600 at the casino SO PISSED OFF!!!!! I find rethink addictive and I also find when it went off the air I was able to get my gambling under control. Maybe talking about gambling is not good for me? I am in two minds to go back to the casino tomorrow or just start from day 1 (4th Dec) or just try and make money on the stock market tomorrow instead. So disappointed in myself for not taking my winnings when I first entered, for having money in my account when I normally put measure’s in place not to have access to cash and most of all for not even trying hard to fight the urge I just caved in and was happy to do so! I have had a very stressful week and I think that was a big part of it. So I went off and bought a pizza to drown my sorrows and it tastes SHIT! I feel like calling them and saying your pizza’s are pathetic! I think I need to stay away from the forum and visit less often and this is what I plan to do now. I want to help you guys but it’s time I start to help myself, hopefully Jane will be back soon as she gives great advice and I think a lot of people need her now. Now I am off to get drunk boy’s GOODLUCK all the best I will come back now and again or when I replace.

Andy
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I’m gambling again. Stopped for 3 months and look at me. A lost cause.

LOSER
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Andy I will tell You what you didn’t lose in 3 months:

1. Money
2. Self respect
3. Temper (from losing money)
4. Your precious time

Why can’t you see the positive side of this all? You stopped for 3 months which means you also trained your brain it can go 3 months without gambling. It would have started to rewire itself from the addiction. So how are you a lost cause? The one’s that are gambling and won’t admit to themselves they have a problem are the lost cause’s. You need to look deeper into why your gambling.
Ask yourself what is missing from your life?
Or what are you unhappy about from your life?
Then make changes and when you start to release the burdens you will be happier and won’t turn to gambling. If you have no idea WHY then what was the cause for your relapse?
You have a choice here now either continue gambling and lose thousands or say to yourself, “I made a mistake I won’t chase losses and I will start from Day 1 again”.
Maybe forget about giving up gambling forever and start to think “Let’s see how long I can go without gambling?” Maybe even start from day 1 and say to yourself when I get to Day 100 I will allow myself $300 to gamble only then I must do another 100 days before I can gamble again, that’s if I want to?

I have gambled for over around 18 years and I really have tried hard the past 8 years or so to stop but I can’t. But I tell you what I have done, I have stopped here and there and broken the cycle of gambling weekly as time goes on I have lost less money on those bloody pokies. I must admit I have urges bad to go gamble today but I went out to dinner at the casino a week or so ago and walking through the casino brought up these feelings I think.
I haven’t gambled since 2nd Oct and I have no idea what day I am up to as I am busy with my new hobby now.
Anyway glad to see you posting and congratulations for stopping for 3 months, you did it once you can do it again!!

ben
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Just relapsed…….AGAIN! will this addiction ever end? I pray I don’t ruin Christmas again like I did last year. Ben.

LOSER
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Joanne if you need the site stick around I don’t think people are not returning because of you. A lot of people open new email accounts for gambling forums and because it took so long to come back on they may have deleted the email account and have no idea it’s back up and running. This is the only way I knew from receiving email notifications that the site was back up because you can only check via google so many times and then give up.

NIK you might want to look into your book sales my friend actually ordered your old book paperback via the net for me (quite some time ago) cannot remember the site now. Anyway they never sent it to her? I was going to tell you this ages ago but you had disappeared from rethink for a while. Anyway she was told to wait and wait in the end she demanded a refund. Not sure of that effects your sales but thought I’d put it out there.

As for KATE, JANE, MAT, DUNCAN, ANDY AND ALL THE OTHER’S IF YOU DONT WANT TO RETURN AS A REGULAR HERE JUST DROP A POST TO SAY HELLO AND LET US KNOW HOW YOUR GOING!!

NIK
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Thanks for letting me know about the book Loser.
Obviously I don’t have any control over this. It sounds like it was ordered through expanded distribution where it can be purchased through other sources. This actually makes me even less than if purchased directly through Amazon. Hardly anything at all in fact – a few cents or pennies.
Probably more reliable to order through Amazon. I can only apologise on whoever it was’s behalf and thank your for letting me know and for the interest.

Joanne
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I’ve been thinking and I’ve decided this will be my last post on Rethink. Although it’s great to see the site up and running again, I’m concerned that some of the other Rethink Regulars may not wish to return because of our past differences. As we know there are others who have made a far greater contribution to this site helping others than me.

So I’d like to thank ‘Rethink’ for putting up with me! I first became aware that I was seriously in over my head with gambling about 14 months ago. Despite my efforts to remain gamble-free over the past year it has been relapse after relapse! I’ve lost approx. 12 grand to gambling over the past 14 months. However, I’ve come to realise that for me this has been progress. The previous year I lost double that amount to on-line gambling. My best attempt at being gf has been 85 days so hopefully I can build on that. I’ve also realised that it is virtually impossible to self-exclude from every on-line gambling site, I’ve always managed to find one when the urge to gamble has over-powered me. I tried installing gamblock but for some reason it played havoc with my laptop so I removed it. I’ve decided the best way forward is to make sure I keep my current account empty, if I can’t access cash, deposit via a debit card, I can’t gamble. A bit of an inconvenience of course but that’s the price I have to pay for being a compulsive gambler. As it’s payday today, I’ve already been down the bank and emptied my account. I don’t want to see a list of gambling transactions on my bank statement ever again. Gambling is a losing game!

So even if you’re only on day 1 gamble-free or if you’re just picking yourself up after a relapse, keep trying, because when you’re not gambling you’re winning!

All the very best everyone, Joanne

loser
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TO THE MODERATOR:
This site open’s up on pg 91 making it appear as no-one has been on here for months. You need to fix this error as it used to open up on current page.

Joanne
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If you’ve just stumbled across this site and you’re a slot/pokie addict, do yourself a favour and watch this documentary ……………………….

youtube dot com/watch?v=-h7idQsDKBs

Joanne
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For some of you just coming to terms with your gambling problem , a couple of sites offering good advice and food for thought …………….

cg-rambler dot BlogSpot dot com

gamblingaddiction dot blog

Joanne
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Perhaps some of you will be paid tomorrow, the final pay before Christmas. Don’t gamble away your Christmas! Even if you haven’t got a lot of spare cash, use the little you have to make Christmas as good as possible.

Over the past 4 years I’ve used Christmas as an excuse to gamble to excess , pencilled it in under ‘entertainment’. Not this year, those on-line casinos can go get f****d! They ain’t ho ho hoing all the way to the bank with my money. As soon as my pay hits my bank account tomorrow, it’s going to be withdrawn in cash and deposited in a bank a/c I can’t access with a debit card. I’ve removed my overdraft facility which means I now have no lee-way, best thing I’ve ever done, I now have to stop and think before I use my debit card. Feels like I’m slowly getting back the value of money.

All the best everyone, Joanne

LOSER
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Good for you Joanne putting measure’s in place I really think you can do it this time!

Joanne
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Thanks LOSER, all the very best , Joanne

NIK
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I am amazed this forum has returned, but glad to see it.
My new book ‘When The Fun Stops: The Modern Plague Of Gambling Addiction’ is available on kindle tomorrow Friday. Also in Amazon Create Space paperback which is already available.

I give a link to this forum at the beginning of the book. Of course as it went down I mentioned that but fortunaely but I left the link in in case it re-appeared., which surprisingly it has. There are many links in the book.

Despite completing the book I failed to take my own advice and last weekend I had a bad lapse. The first time I’ve gambled since August 12.The previous weekend I put £10 on a goals in live play football accumulator to win £600 and although all didn’t come up I cashed out whilst ahead with £50. Instead of withdarwing this I went on the slots and turned it into £90 on Midas Millions, then went on Cleopatra and lost it all. Never mind, it was only £10.

Then last weekend I again had £10 on the football which lost. Another £10 went the same way. Then, like an idiot, I deposited £500 by credit card and started on the slots. Only played Midas Millions and Cleopatra again but never got into proft. Within 15 minutes there was just £90 left which I then stuck on one football match for a goal in the last 15 minutes. That lost too.

So, despite not gambling since August, despite all my advice in the book, particularly about the toxic slots I have lost £530 over the past couple of weekends and will have to start all over again. I have been gamble free since August 12 and now have to start again from 25 November. I have had only three gambling sessions this year: Two days in January, two weekends in August and two weekends in November, but it has still cost me around £2000.

I know what sparked it off this time. I have had quite a few expenses recently all coming at the same time – an unexpected tax bill, some funeral expenses for my mum who passed away in October (she would have been 96 on Xmas day so it wasn’t a great shock and she outlived dad by 34 and a half years), but these expenses all suddenly coming together have hit me financially and I made the stupid mistake of turning to gambling to help me. Of course I am in even more trouble financially now because of that stupid move.

I am nowhere near as badly off as I was 6/7 years ago but certainly worse off once again than I was 1/2 years ago.

Hopefully the book can make me a couple of quid!

Back to square one yet again, but I am determined determined this time. No more gambling ever. I have done six months before I can do six years!

LOSER
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Sorry to hear about your mother NIK, don’t get too down on yourself in those difficult circumstances anyone would return to gambling. Great to hear you finished your book, all the best with it. Good to hear you are picking yourself up and getting back on board to stop this devilish habit i.e.) gambling

All the best mate

NIK
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Thanks for this Loser.

Hope you’re staying strong and beating this thing.

Take care.

Joanne
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Sorry to read about your recent loss NIK, this will have been a very difficult time for you.

Well done on completing your book, I am looking forward to reading it, and respect to you for writing a book with a view to helping others overcome this addiction. All the very best to you, Joanne

nik
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Thanks Joanne
Please stick around.
Regarding the book, although it is available it hasn’t appeared on kindle how I hoped. Paragraphs and pages not aligned properly so I am going to have to try to sort it out and download it again. It is also available in paperback which is ok, but because of production costs that is more expensive and actually makes me less!

Joanne
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11 days gamble-free! We’ve got lots of snow in my part of the world, looks stunning and I even had a gorgeous small deer visit my garden this morning. Feeling very festive!

Joanne
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p.s. Loving the new look site! (joke) It’s amazing what a lick of paint can do! Would you like a glass of champagne or a non-alcoholic drink to celebrate the re-launch of re-think?

LOSER
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Just posted and although i see it in email notifications my post isn’t visible on the page?

Joanne
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Unfortunately your posts are visible LOSER! (joke)

LOSER
Reply

Oh my is this site back up? God help us!!!!

Joanne
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10 days gamble free!

Joanne
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Hi, My name is Joanne and I am a compulsive gambler. After being 85 days gamble-free I relapsed. My aim is to remain gamble-free until the Spring when I hope to sign up to Gamstop’s self-exclusion scheme. This scheme will hopefully prevent me from accessing gambling websites and apps run by companies licensed in the Uk and finally end the misery of this addiction which has blighted my life for the last 5 years.

Day 10 gamble-free ………………. Joanne

Mr X
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Sorry meant site

LOSER
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Yes Mr X it’s back up how have things been going?

Mr X
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I’m good. Been clean for some time. I’ve got a new job and have for the first time in years saved some money. How are you?

loser
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WOW That’s incredible good for you!! Life must be amazing for you now? I haven’t gambled since 2nd oct this year. I took up a new hobby (stock market) guess it’s another form of gambling and if things go wrong I could lose $1000’s but its become a passion and has kept me away from the slots/pokies. Guess I have changed 1 gambling addiction for another hahah however with the stock market I have made around $4000 so far. I have been getting urges lately to go to the casino as the stock market has been slow however I simply will resist. Good to hear your doing well!

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